Daycare Rant

hubka

Okay, ladies -- not asking to be roasted here, but do want your feedback.

This is my son's third week in daycare.  We are using an at-home daycare provider who we really liked.  Great home and area for the kids, only 10 minutes away, etc.  Best yet, while she has several of her own kids, mine is the only infant she's taken in.  The problem is that nearly every day since he's started, she's questioning how often we feed him. 

We followed his lead in developing his feeding schedule and landed at every four hours.  He is gaining weight and typically makes at least one 5-6 hour stretch at night (shorter during growth spurts, but sometimes longer) -- so in my opinion, he's doing fine. He's only at daycare for nine hours and I feed him right before he goes in, so give her two 5 oz bottles -- the daytime schedule should look like this:

- 6:45 a.m. -- Nurse

- 7:30 a.m. -- Drop off

-  10:45 a.m. -- Bottle #1

- 2:45 p.m. -- Bottle #2

- 4:30 p.m. -- Pickup 

Almost every day she has told me that she thinks we should be giving him another bottle.  Then today she requested that I send her a doctors note stating that it's ok for him to eat every four hours.  So now, not only is my annoyance at her pushing me to feed him more growing, but she basically accused me of being an abusive parent...

We have told her previously that if he needs to eat a bit sooner, go for it -- with the schedule being what it is, he could eat every three hours if he needed to and still be okay for me to nurse him after we get home in the afternoon. 

A few additional pieces of background info:

- He was super colicky and super gassy.  This started to improve when he started spacing his feedings

- He frequently naps into his feedings

- He is 13 weeks (not a newborn!)

- He's over the 75th percentile for weight

- At his two-month checkup we mentioned to the doctor that we were moving toward a four-hour schedule for feedings.  They had no questions or criticisms

 

So my questions are:

- Am I overreacting in feeling annoyed/insulted?

- How often do your babies eat/nurse (and how old)?

 

Thanks in advance!

persephonerose

Have you asked her why she feels he needs another bottle? Perhaps he is showing signs of still being hungry, or she is misinterpreting a cue as a hunger cue? It could simply be that she is trying to cover her own butt since she probably has a license and regulations she has to maintain. 

D is going on 11 weeks and I feed on demand, some days he wants to eats every 45 minutes sometimes every 2 hours. It also varies based on growth spurts, activities, and how well he has been napping. 

My question is, if you like the daycare provider that much is it really a big deal to send a "just in case" bottle each day? 

SurpriseAt39

With my first DD I noticed when she was being watched by someone else, she tended to want to eat more, and more often than if she were at home. 

I believe it is a comfort thing. I'd suggest sending a smaller bottle and let your DC offer it to him. He may or may not take it. And even if he takes it NOW, he may drop it in a week or two.

 

karkissy09

I would be insulted to be honest. You know your child. I'd question why she thinks he needs more. If it's just because she thinks he isn't consuming enough in general...not because he's acting hungry or anything...I'd explain to her that he's still putting weight on and that you've discussed it with the doctor and there are no concerns. Maybe even figure up the amount of ounces he takes in each day and explain to her that it's plenty. Do you have anything from the doctor saying his percentile? You could bring it to show he's perfectly fine size wise. Sorry you're having to deal with that. I'd definitely be annoyed.

eliza&peter2009

My son, at 10 weeks, eats every 4 hours and has since he was 7 weeks old. He weighs almost 14 lbs and is thriving. Maybe you can tell her how many ounces he consumes a day ( on average) and see if that calms her down?

ExcitedMum2B

I was sending 3 bottles with DD to daycare. 2 that she should drink and one as a backup. Long story short it got frustrating for me, because she was coming home with half drunk bottles. The DCP was feeding her 2 oz every 1.5-2 hours instead of the way I do it which is 4 oz every 4 hours.

I always track feedings at home in a log book and after 3 days of dumping half bottles of milk, I started putting the book in the bag with the bottles  so she could see the feeding pattern. No need for confrontation of anything, she looked at that, saw the pattern and started following it. Maybe that would work? Otherwise, maybe you just need to look into another provider. This person is caring for your child the majority of the day, you want to be on the same page as them.

teresamartini11

DD is fed on cue. She is watch by either DH or my mom. I usually nurse her at 1 then at 11. So 10 hours in between. In that time she takes anywhere from 6-12oz total, 2-6oz at a time every 2-6hrs. I try to leave 12oz each day.

Every four hours is ok if your baby is taking 5 oz at each feeding. However if you could leave extra milk and the caregiver could feed on demand it would insure baby is getting enough. 

CurlyQ284

You say she can feed him every three hours if he needs it...but she really can't, you aren't giving her enough milk for that. I get where you're coming from but I would be nervous if I was watching a baby and if he got hungry I had nothing to feed him.

DS eats every three hours, I give daycare 4 bottles. They have an extra bottle just in case. He drinks all 4 bottles maybe once every other week. I just bring it home and feed it to him when he's ready for his next feeding.

I would ask her where this is coming from. Is he acting hungry? Or she just thinks he needs it? Find out where she's coming from and go from there.

BarooGirl

We feed on demand too. But I do know Audrey eats a little different than she does at home.

I send 3 4oz bottles to Dc everyday and they have a back up bag too.

She eats all 3 everyday (sometimes 4) and is there from 8am-5pm.

If your DC provider is saying she thinks your child is hungry, why wouldnt you send an extra bottle? to me, 10oz doesnt sound like enough. Shoudnt you be happy your DCP is concerned that your baby might be hungry?

Maybe try 3 4oz bottles?