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Exposure to illness question

My husband and I are starting our move to Germany in a week (he is military). We are currently staying in a VERY small hotel room on base (normal protocol before a move)--it's honestly too small for us and our two pets.

My husband has a son from a previous marriage, and we have been seeing him once during the week and then every other weekend for a sleepover. This weekend would be the last sleepover before we leave, but we'd have one more weekday visit.

When we picked him up yesterday for the weekday visit, his mom said he wasn't sick but had a bad cough and had been asleep for like three hours before we got him. He was indeed sick, so sick that we took him home half way through the visit because he felt so badly that he didn't want to do anything but sit down--he didn't even want to talk.

He is supposed to be with us all day Saturday and Sunday, and sleepover at our hotel Saturday. He'd be on the pull-out couch. My husband said that if he's still sick he doesn't think it's a good idea for him to sleepover because 1) I'm pregnant, 2) next week we need to drive across the country and neither of us can be sick for that, and 3) we have a 10 hour flight to Germany that we'll be on within a week and a half and neither of us want to be sick for that.

My honest opinion is that I don't want him to sleepover there regardless, because of how sick he was yesterday. He coughed (a loud cough) the whole time, his stomach hurt, he was super tired, and the normally overly-chatty child didn't even want to talk. I can't steer clear of him if he stays there because it's so small. RSV, strep, and the flu are going around here like crazy, and since he is in elementary school and shares a bedroom with his toddler sibling that goes to daycare, there are a LOT of germs that I'm not normally exposed to that I would be if I were around him.

 Am I being over-sensitive to this? I should add that if we weren't driving across the country and then flying across the world, I wouldn't even think twice about him spending the night with us, even if we were in the same hotel room. My concern is getting sick and being sick during a 3-4 day drive and a ten hour flight, and then being sick for the two weeks we have to search for and move into a house once we arrive in Germany. At the same time, I feel badly because it's the last weekend we'd have him.

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Re: Exposure to illness question

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    I think if you're really uncomfortable with it, you should stay somewhere else. Do you have a friend or someone you could crash with for one night?

    If it's his last time seeing his dad for a very long time, it would be crappy to say "sorry, you're too germy, see you some other time..."

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    This is really tough- being sick while you're pregnant really sucks- especially if you have to travel, fly, and move to another country where you may not have a relationship with a doctor.  That said, if he's not going to get to see his dad for so long, it would be really sad for him to miss out on that time together.

    Not sure how much better he's feeling or what he's up for, but could your H take him out for the day or spend the days with him at a relative's house?  This isn't fool proof, because your H could still get whatever he has and pass it to you, but maybe it would be a compromise? 

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    I understand not wanting to be sick, but at the same time I think you are being overly sensitive. Wash your hands a bunch and do your best. Its not fair to the kid or his father to get this upset about this.


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    I'm sorry but this is your DH's child.  Custodial parents don't have the luxury of passing on being around their kid when their kid is sick and I honestly think it's pretty shitty if non custodial parents feel like they should only get the good times.  My parents are divorced and I distinctly remember my mother telling my father that if we were sick and truly WANTED to come home, we could but that he, as our father, should be just as capable of caring for us as she was and I agree. 
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    I thought I wrote this in there, but I am not even considering asking my husband to not see his child. You're right--that would be horrible! The only thing that I was considering was asking his child to not sleep in our small hotel room...so the only thing that would be missed was his son sleeping on a fold out couch for 10 hours. We never planned on hanging out in our hotel room at all; our plans have us away from here all day, both days, so literally the only time his son was going to be here anyway was when he slept.

    We would still have him all day on both Saturday and Sunday, and I would suggest to my husband to take him and have more one-on-one time with him than we had had planned so that I could avoid catching whatever he has, and so they could get more alone time.

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
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    I think you are being a little overly sensitive, but it is your call to make. Once you two have a little one of your own that lives with you full-time, you will realize that life doesn't stop when someone gets sick.
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    Since you've already been around him while he had it you've already been exposed; i'd let him stay.
    Boy 10.6.13
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    imagemckay1am:
    I thought I wrote this in there, but I am not even considering asking my husband to not see his child. You're rightthat would be horrible! The only thing that I was considering was asking his child to not sleep in our small hotel room...so the only thing that would be missed was his son sleeping on a fold out couch for 10 hours. We never planned on hanging out in our hotel room at all; our plans have us away from here all day, both days, so literally the only time his son was going to be here anyway was when he slept. We would still have him all day on both Saturday and Sunday, and I would suggest to my husband to take him and have more oneonone time with him than we had had planned so that I could avoid catching whatever he has, and so they could get more alone time.


    Spending time would still expose you to the kids' germs. It makes no sense asking the kid not to spend the night. I really don't understand why it's a big deal. Either way you have the potential to get sick.

    Also, odds are someone in that hotel is sick. You are more likely to catch something from door handles, and continental breakfast spaces then from the kid FFS.

    It's just such a bizarre thing to worry about. Let the kid stay the night with his dad.


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