September 2012 Moms
christine6980
member
This may be too personal..
christine6980
member
But I really wanted to get some other women who have had babies opinions.
How do you feel about your body and your image after baby? Do you feel attractive to your SO/DH?
Reason being, I know it is completely normal but my SO has been looking at porn and for some reason it REALLY bothers me. He used to do it before we had baby and I was okay with it. But for some reason now, I feel unattractive because I just don't have time or energy to keep up my look. How do you feel about your SO/DH doing so? I would be totally fine with it if I didn't feel so icky or insecure!
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Re: This may be too personal..
oh goodness, it's been way too busy of a day to get into this right now.
To answer your question:
I feel fat and gross.
DH wouldn't look at porn even if I looked like Jennifer Aniston.
Emilia Antoinette
10.03.12 at 41w5d
Are you nursing? A low sex drive is a common thing if so. I know that personally I just don't feel like myself in a lot of ways for the first 6 months or so PP. There are so many factors both physical and emotional.
But yeah, I definitely feel less desirable. I'd say that's normal. I mean, our bodies take a beating. I am definitely nowhere near being back to pre-DD. Not even pre-DS!
If it would help you feel prettier/less insecure, maybe get some new makeup or fun lingerie? Confidence is a biggie.
Hugs!
When i was younger and DH and i had just moved to a place together i had MAJOR problems with porn, as i get older i tend to poke fun at it more then spite it.
DH and I have had MILLIONS of talks about it and it never goes anywhere, now i just call him out when hes dumb about it.
As far as feeling attractive, Im have an issue with it but... when havent i. I went on WW right before getting preg with LO and lost 30 lbs in 3 months and was feeling pretty good about myself.... then BFP and 60lbs later. Now im at the weight i was before i lost the 30lbs. I WILL be going back to WW only because its the only thing that has worked for me.
Three thoughts.
1. My body is different, it will forever be. I am okay with it at present. Ask me tomorrow though.
2. Not even going to touch the whole looking at porn thing with a 10 foot pole.
3. What's important is that you communicate with him about this and that he respond appropriately so as to be sensitive and respectful to your current emotions and struggles. If that means it is best for your relationship for him to not do so at present, I think he should be more than understanding of that and act accordingly. Or else mister-man would be getting NONE in my home.
I'm sorry you find yourself struggling with this and feeling uncomfortable with your partners choices. Hopefully further communication can resolve the issue and you can continue to work on your self/body-image as well, as we all are.
I feel kind of meh about my body. When I work out, I feel good about how I'm looking. When I don't work out for a few days, I feel like a blob.
If it bothers you, you need to talk to him about why it's bothering you right now.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I was feeling pretty good...until I tried on all of my party dresses for our upcoming trip. My hips are quite a bit wider, thighs are a bit fatter...
H loves my post baby bod though...but he probably still looks at porn. I'm okay with it though, I've seen all the porn on his laptop, and even after having a kid, I feel that I'm more attractive than those women.
I'll admit I felt awful after I had Paige. I gained 30lbs when I was overweight to begin with. DF has always told me, before, during, and after my pregnancy that he thought I was beautiful so that hasnt ever been an issue. I dont care now that I'm covered in stretch marks because my daughter is healthy. All I can do is change what I dont like and move on. I've had to make the time for me to go to the gym. I'm very fortunate because there is one at work so I can go on lunch, or briefly after work.
As far as the porn goes, DF is the same way. It used to bother me but now I'm just like meh. Its whatever. As long as its not getting in the way of your love life I think its normal for a majority of men (not all).
You are beautiful. Not everyone gets their body back right away, and like everyone says it took us 9 months to put this weight on, give yourself 9 months to get it off if thats whats bothering you. I'd suggest having an honest conversation with your H if its bothering you. Don't go fishing for compliments just be like "This is how I feel. It would help me if you would A, B, C. This is how I feel about the porn. Lets talk about it."
He must not know what his showers are for
That is awesome right there.
Right! Of course like I said it brought tears to my eyes, but I sobbed like a baby because I was already emotional! haha. My hormones are crazy since I had LO. It is definitely all worth it, just wish I had more time to take care of me. Maybe a new outfit this weekend will help
As for feeling attractive. I don't know. I am at my pre pregnancy weight. I know DH finds me attractive. I know I look pretty frucking good considering i had 2u1. However, I am still trying to come to terms with my post baby body. It's quite a bit softer than before and just different. That is not the end of the world. But it doesn't help my insecurities either.
This.
I have not felt very sexy PP. I am always tired and can't see past my jiggly belly. Also, I used to be such a boob person with foreplay, and breastfeeding has taken them off the market for the time being, so getting into the mood is pretty tough. I am at my pre-preg weight, but I was overweight to begin with. I have always been curvy, but I am tired of being out of shape. I would like to lose 40lb.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this
Like pp said, a low sex drive is totally normal, esp if you're EBF, and so is feeling just plain blah because you don't have time to fix your hair/get dolled up like you used to. And of course bodies change 
I would talk to your SO--sound like, from your follow-up, you already have. Maybe he can spell you long enough to fix your hair or go shopping for some clothes that make you feel pretty. Taking even just a little time for yourself can reap rewards in the confidence department--when you take the two minutes (even if LO is fussing or whatever) to throw on mascara or a shirt that actually fits, you feel better all day and that just keeps the positive feedback loop going. Same with sex, or even just a makeout session. And I have to say--if you'd prefer he not look at porn, make it easy on the guy and get it on more often if you can
As for porn--IMO, if you have an issue with it, SO shouldn't be looking at it out of respect for you. But you can't just expect him to pick up on that--it will breed resentment. And dictating "No porn" won't help either. Talk about why it's bothering you. It's ok for it to bother you, just like it's ok if it doesn't or if you're the one who enjoys porn and SO doesn't. But you need open communication about it.