Second/third etc. time moms...question

BettyH

Getting close to my third trimester and for the most part all it going well. Recenlty I have been getting really nervous about doing the morning routine with two children. My DH is wondeful and helps out but leaves for work an hour or so before I need to. Right now I have a great routine with my toddler but i 'm starting to worry about throwing a new born in the mix of things. Probably just being hormonal.

Also, worried that I won't be able to spend enough time with both children. There will be two parents for two kids but just something that crossed my mind that I'll be spending more time with the baby b/c of nursing.  Pls tell me I'm just nusts and everything will be fine.

Miananderson

I think all of those concerns are completely normal. I felt the same way when we were trying to prepare for the transition from 1 to 2. I think I was worried that one of them would end up neglected or something. I can remember feeling a little guilty through my whole pregnancy about the time I was going to spend with the new little one and I worried that my then 3 year old wouldn't understand, and might think that I didn't love her. I also went through this emotional period where I was like mourning the alone time my older daughter and I had together as just the two of us, lol. I would even cry about it. It sounds so ridiculous to me now, but at the time those worries seemed so valid. When DD2 finally came around it was definitely an adjustment, but it all fell into place really naturally and quickly. I don't think you have anything to worry about, and you'll all be fine! I've been way less crazy and dramatic this pregnancy but I still ponder on what the new dynamic will be with 3 kids. I think I'm worried most for my husband, haha.

Munchky

All that I can offer here is that I'm feeling the same way.  I know it's not going to be easy and it will take some getting used to, for all of us; but, women do it all the time, which gives me comfort that everything will be fine!!

srhouse26

My step daughter told me last night that she doesn't want a baby brother anymore because she thinks we're going to like the baby more than her. It broke my heart. MH and I have already made a plan to spend one on one time with her but I'm also nervous that it's going to be difficult, at least at first. 

Ceefome

Obviously, it's an adjustment,and it will take time.  It depends on the baby and your oldest, too.  Getting your oldest involved - getting things for you, helping pick out outfits, etc - really helps them feel included.  And this is easier said than done, especially when nursing, but try not to get too divided as to who does what for which kid.  Like the baby is yours and the oldest is your DH's.  Get your DH as invovled as possible with the baby and letting you have time for your oldest. 

I really do think each mother of 2 feels that way at first, but you will get the hang of it, and both your children will love you. 

surpriseaddition

Totally normal!  I felt the same way.  But, even though I nursed my DS, you really forget about just how much time a newborn spends sleeping.  When I only had one, it all revolved around her.  When DS came along, he was very content to sit in his bouncy seat and watch his 2 1/2 year old sister run around and play.  Then he'd want to eat, I'd nurse, and he'd be back to sleep.  Then I had time with DD. 

Definitely get DH involved, and I agree don't divide the kids...this one's yours, this one's mine.  I know I worried I'd favor one over the other, but as unrealistic as it may seem when you just have your one, your heart can love both children just as much.  It will all work out.  GL!