My name is Katie and me and fiance have been TTC since May 2012...We got pregnant right away after stopping birth control - went in for 1st u/s in August and found no heart beat - baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Had a D&C and waited three months. Found out I was PG again in December...I thought perhaps I would be able to have an early U/S this time or that they would monitor my levels but was told it wasn't procedure after only one miscarriage...I went in for the 8 week check up - the midwife said I was fine and healthy and no need for an early u/s - come back in two weeks and we will hear heartbeat with doppler...Well came back Tuesday for that check up and our worst fears were confirmed - no heartbeat - baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks...The MD who performed my D&C was so confused on why they didn't offer the U/S at 6 weeks or give in to my requests to have levels checked...I will go back in 4 weeks and plan to see that same MD so hopefully I can get some answers...
This time is so much worse for me then the first time...I have had several friends who had miscarriages their first pregnancy and a few who have infertility issues so I knew going in it was a possibility - My fiance on the other hand was devastated because he has two healthy girls from a previous marriage. This time I think he was expecting it and I was really thinking everything was okay. I felt PG and horrible symptoms - morning sickness, boobs that hurt to the touch, headaches, acne - so I let myself hope that everything was okay. I'm more angry this time - angry that it is happening - angry that my body isn't doing what I want it to do - angry that the MDs I saw didn't believe me and try to calm my fears - just plain angry...I know anger is a normal part but it's new for me because I wasn't angry the first time...
I'm also sick of hearing people tell us we need to give it a break and that it is all normal. It's not normal - and it's not normal for them they have had healthy babies with no miscarriages so they do not know what is normal and they do not know how it feels to want something so bad and not be able to get it...
Re: Intro
My Ovulation Chart
BFP #1 3.16.12. mmc 5.7.12 at 11 weeks ~Avery Cameron~
BFP #2 12.12.12. mmc 1.22.13 at 10 weeks ~Theodore Michael~
D&C #2 Chromosome analysis results: Translocation Trisomy 14
My RPL Testing: Homozygous MTHFR, normal karyotype
DH's karyotype results: Robertsonian Translocation 13:14
BFP #3 9.10.13 mc at 4 weeks~Our little May Flower~
BFP #4 10.13.13- Our Rainbow Baby, a little girl, arrived June 25, 2014!
I am so sorry for your losses. It is so frustrating when you have doctors who wont listen to your concerns and give you some type of relief and reasurance that everything is ok. I understand the anger you have. Its not normal for this to happen all the time and its hard to listen to others tell you that. I hate when I hear "well there must have been something wrong with the baby and you wouldnt want a baby that has problems anyways". Just pisses me off but I feel it is their way of dealing with not knowing what to say to you.
It is okay to angry and you will find peace over this in your own time. This is a wonderful board full of ladies that are all here to help. I hope you find comfort here. ((hugs))
Mommy to baby J - 09/2009 - My perfect little princess.
TTC#2
BFP 10/14/11 - MC 10/21/11 @ 4w3d
BFP 01/23/12 - MC 02/05/12 @ 5w2d
BFP 12/21/12 - D&C 02/07/13 @ 10w2d 02/27/13 - MTHFR
My Blog:Two Moms and a Journey
My Chart
Katie,
So sorry for you loss. It's been 6 days since my second miscarriage and I completely underdstand your anger! I feel so robbed of a natural human function and feel no one could possibly empathize with me espcially if they're busy having perfectly wonderful pregnancies and babies. Well, I hope it's a little comforting for you to know that we understand and you can vent as much and as angrily as you need to. I'll listen and agree whole heartedly how much this SUCKS.
BFP 8/28/12 US 9/20/12 HB 120 US 10/01/12 no HB
BFP 12/21/12 US 01/21/13 Blighted Ovum