Help me suck it up :(
MagickalNarwhal
member
I HATE my boss. In fact I left my job 80% because of him. I loved my work and the program I built but he is SO PROFOUNDLY INCOMPETENT that I couldn't take it any more and I left. The program is a non-profit tax site that serves low income families with free tax prep, so it is supposed to open, like, now.
My boss ran the program into the ground, and it's on track to meet about 10% of the grant-required goals. It's a total train wreck. They were supposed to hire my position in SEPTEMBER and they still haven't.
So, like an idiot, and because all the families that really get helped by the service mean so SO much to me, I agreed to step in and run it last week.
I *have* to make peace with my boss. I came back to work, he's NOT going to change, I just have to pick up the pieces and move forward to try and salvage something from the wreckage of the program. He is consistently jerking me around, dropping balls (like, oh, taking personal days off now when he's the only one who can do the paperwork to get me rehired), sending out gross misinformation about the site to the rest of the staff and to the community etc.
I'm not sure if he's actively trying to undermine me, but I think he's just totally checked out (he is quitting in April or May). He also has admitted to me (in tears, on multiple occasions) that he gets so overwhelmed with how bad he messes things up that he just checks out.
Every time I see him my blood pressure skyrockets. Just about every interaction that I have with him reveals another screw-up that I have to fix and coupled with his shitty attitude I am just not sure how I can make it through the season without losing it on him.
His boss knows what a screw-up he is and is also checked out, so I can't go up the food chain. I guess I just need some tips on managing my frustration and figuring out how to have a reasonable working relationship with a deeply incompetent adult toddler 
Re: Help me suck it up :(
What a mess. I would say you need to be very specific about exactly what you need him to do (or not do) and micromanage anything he's doing on the project. Keep him out of it otherwise. If he is really aware that he's messing things up and has checked out, he may be relieved if you take over. Throw him a bone here and there by drafting an email for him to send out or whatever, and otherwise let him do very little. It is a bad position for you to be in, but you knew that already. Honestly, I think the incompetent bosses who refuse to recognize that they are incompetent. Be specific, be assertive, but always be respectful. Much the same way you would deal with a toddler, in fact...
This! And just focus on all of the people you're helping- once the season starts, will you be spending most of your time helping people with their taxes? If you can be hands-on in the work and helping people, it really does help you get through the day knowing you're doing something meaningful. I used to work with patients, and no matter how bad BS would get with supervisors and co-workers, it was always a relief to have 1 on 1 interaction with people that appreciated my help and were being benefited by it most of the day....it made it a lot easier to tune out the incompetence and snark around me.
I am really, really worried about this and have done everything I can think of to mitigate, but I'm not immune. It's one of the things I had to come to terms with before I took the job back.
The good news is that the main funder knows what's going on, and I have a solid job offer for next year elsewhere that I'm super excited about!
And thanks everyone, writing this and yorureplies did actually help flip a bit of a switch, and I was able to write a nice email to him that will help us move forward productively.
Hahahaha this maybe just made my day a little bit. Can I use that on my CV? "Declared, 'magical saint of tax preparation' by Internet stranger."