I thought people were "nicer" when you're preggo... — The Bump
March 2013 Moms

I thought people were "nicer" when you're preggo...

Because I am still waiting for a single person to hold the door, help with a bag, offer their seat, or a place up in the bathroom line. Geez I always did this for pregnant women...the worst part is, I'm from the south isn't it supposed to be better here?

The only thing remotely nice anyone has done was today when the cashier at the grocery store was going to make me pull out the 24 pack of water bottles and put it on the conveyor for her to scan, the man behind me angerily put it up there for me and said to her, "can't you see shes pregnant"??

Anyone else experiencing really nice or really rude people?

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Re: I thought people were &amp;quot;nicer&amp;quot; when you're preggo...

  • I'm in the South as well and I've had more of your experiences than good ones lol. The "best" was Saturday when my Target cashier decided to share that her husband thought he couldn't have kids bc he was taking a shopping cart back and cut his testicles out of the sac... TMI TMI TMI...Everyone wants to tell me about their horrible labor stories and how miserable they are... I
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  • I was just thinking this the other day! I had a guy nearly run me over in the parking lot because he wanted to beat me instead of wait as I went through the crosswalk.  Then when I was inside the store I had a lady cut me off at the register with a cart full of groceries when I only had a gallon of milk and a case of soda (for the DH).  Those items are heavy for me right now! Then at the post office the person just ahead of me did not wait the 2 seconds to hold the door open (and I was carrying a package).  

    I would hardly call Virginia "the South" but damn people just would not give me a break. PREGNANCY RAGE!!!!

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  • I was just thinking about this very thing.  I'm in NYC, and I guess I forgot that, because I have been getting serious pregnancy rage when people are just flat-out rude ALL of the time.  Then I realized it's nothing personal, people here are just always rude to everyone.  No special treatment for pregnant ladies. :) Most of my complaints are commute-related, I will go nuts if I start listing all of the rude moments I have had to experience in the past few months!
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  • I'm in NYC too and I get offerred seats on the train all the time.  I just make sure my jacket is open so everyone can see the bump.  People are really nice to me here. 
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  • I am in the south (Atlanta) and people have been pretty nice.  The girl bagging my  groceries at Whole Foods helped me pull my groceries out of my cart the other day and she took my groceries to my car and loaded my car for me.  My husband usually goes to the grocery store with me and does all this stuff but couldn't that night..she said she recognized me from previous visits and wanted to help since he was not with me.

    Plus, I have to testify in court often as a foster care case manager...and usually the parents' attorneys and whatknot try to grill me and ask me difficult questions during cross examination... but last time-no one had any further questions for me.  Its prob because I do my job pretty well and make sure I'm prepared for court-but that has not stopped them before...So it may have been because I am hugely pregnant, and they didn't want to stress me more than I already am.  But it was probably more because their own clients did not bother to return their calls or show up to court or make any effort to visit their babies

    Everyone has been pretty nice to me regarding opening doors or not letting me carry heavy things or anything...people just keep making obnoxious comments all the time about how huge I am which is starting to get on my nerves. 

  • My next door neighbor has been so great.  He will get up before DH and I and shovel our walk, and whenever he sees me haul in groceries he runs outside to help.  It just makes me smile!

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  • I have found that people just seem to ignore me all together, i always try to smile, hold doors, let people go in front of me at the store. but i have got nothing since I'm definately showing now.  last month right before Christmas i had went for a doc. appt. and ended up with high bp, sent for lab work, NST, told i had a UTI and my glucose test was high and i was given a diabetic diet and set up for a 3hr glucose test. all i wanted to do was go home, i was scared, tired and felt bad. stopped at the pharmacy to get my rx that was called in 2hrs. prior only to be told it was not ready yet and i had to wait 30mins. i lost it, left crying and was in my car sobbing my little heart out. not one person  stopped to ask if i was ok, the salvation bell ringer stood there ringing his little bell for 10mins just watching me cry! it just seems like there is not a lot of compassion or manners anymore. maybe I"m just more senstive about things right now. but i will continue to be nice to people, maybe somewhere down the road someone will pass it forward and make a difference!
  • imagedoozer1345:
    I'm in the South as well and I've had more of your experiences than good ones lol. The "best" was Saturday when my Target cashier decided to share that her husband thought he couldn't have kids bc he was taking a shopping cart back and cut his testicles out of the sac... TMI TMI TMI...Everyone wants to tell me about their horrible labor stories and how miserable they are... I

    Omg. Lol I can't help but laugh at the thought of this actually happening to someone. I'm a terrible person.
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  • imageMrs MoJoRisin:
    imagedoozer1345:
    I'm in the South as well and I've had more of your experiences than good ones lol. The "best" was Saturday when my Target cashier decided to share that her husband thought he couldn't have kids bc he was taking a shopping cart back and cut his testicles out of the sac... TMI TMI TMI...Everyone wants to tell me about their horrible labor stories and how miserable they are... I
    Omg. Lol I can't help but laugh at the thought of this actually happening to someone. I'm a terrible person.

    I'm still wondering HOW this happened and I was too annoyed at the time for her to enlighten me about it

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  • I live in NYC and I didn't think I would be offered any seats on the train but to my surpris that wasn't true. The few times I have used it a man has always givin up his seat to me, always men not women. The women have always cut me off before I can get there. It really made me think.
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  • imagemcooper014:
    I'm in NYC too and I get offerred seats on the train all the time.  I just make sure my jacket is open so everyone can see the bump.  People are really nice to me here. 

     

    I'm in NYC area too and I half agree with you. Women tend to offer their sits more often than guys do. I saw guys pretending they were sleeping or that they didn't see my bump standing right on their faces countless times....

    I'm glad the ladies are more thoughtful though...... 

  • two skanky 12 year old girls called me fat...which was lovely.  But other than that, besides your pregnancy/birth horror stories, I've had it pretty easy. There was an ice storm and I was at the grocery store, a guy asked if I needed help getting my groceries in the car. Other little things like that have happened. So I can't complain. 
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  • People are just rude. End of story. I do my best to show my DD good manners and I've been known to point out people being rude, lol. I don't expect people to be super nice, I'd happily settle for not rude!

  • People are nice, but I am pretty independent and don't really want their help. They give me weird looks when I don't accept their help. I just feel like I am pregnant...not disabled. However, I do like when people offer a chair for me to sit as I have a hard time standing for too long. 

  • everyone at work asks how I'm doing/feeling; I had a teacher take a line of students out to the bus for me yesterday when it was slippery out (she didn't want me to fall); another teacher helped me brush snow off my car...haven't had anything particularly rude though.


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  • imagedoozer1345:

    imageMrs MoJoRisin:
    imagedoozer1345:
    I'm in the South as well and I've had more of your experiences than good ones lol. The "best" was Saturday when my Target cashier decided to share that her husband thought he couldn't have kids bc he was taking a shopping cart back and cut his testicles out of the sac... TMI TMI TMI...Everyone wants to tell me about their horrible labor stories and how miserable they are... I
    Omg. Lol I can't help but laugh at the thought of this actually happening to someone. I'm a terrible person.

    I'm still wondering HOW this happened and I was too annoyed at the time for her to enlighten me about it

    LOL!  This story is too funny.  People tell the weirdest stories sometimes...  I live in Maryland and people have been pretty nice to me.  I've gotten free cookies twice, free donuts, a girl offered me her seat at the airport and people generally hold the door for others where I live.  

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  • Nope, people are rude sometimes. E.g. when it snowed a few weeks ago a few men working in the building stood outside and literally laughed and took photos while I cleaned my car off at 10:00 at night to try to leave work. Yeah, pregnant lady cleaning her car, soooo funny!


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  • imageBeaglechon2012:
    Nope, people are rude sometimes. E.g. when it snowed a few weeks ago a few men working in the building stood outside and literally laughed and took photos while I cleaned my car off at 10:00 at night to try to leave work. Yeah, pregnant lady cleaning her car, soooo funny!

    WOW, what a-holes! :(

    OP, if it makes you feel better, nobody's really "nice" to me, either. And sometimes I totally feel side-eyed! Sometimes I wonder if the general consensus is that pregnant women are entitled to special treatment, so people take it upon themselves to undo some of that attitude? Random speculation, but "Pregnant Women are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oats is in my head reading this post lol  

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  • Out in public people are still rude, BUT my 81 yo neighbor brought me a chocolate cake he made me so I think that trumps the bad!
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  • imagedoozer1345:
    I'm in the South as well and I've had more of your experiences than good ones lol. The "best" was Saturday when my Target cashier decided to share that her husband thought he couldn't have kids bc he was taking a shopping cart back and cut his testicles out of the sac... TMI TMI TMI...Everyone wants to tell me about their horrible labor stories and how miserable they are... I


    W t f
    This really happened?
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  • imageBeaglechon2012:
    Nope, people are rude sometimes. E.g. when it snowed a few weeks ago a few men working in the building stood outside and literally laughed and took photos while I cleaned my car off at 10:00 at night to try to leave work. Yeah, pregnant lady cleaning her car, soooo funny!


    Omg!!!!
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  • I haven't noticed this much while I have been pregnant, but I do specifically remember a non-pregnancy story related to people's rudeness.  I had a scope done on my knee to repair it when I was in university. It was winter and slippery and I had to use crutches.  I came to the front door(full glass so I could see a girl on the other side and she could see me), and she watched me struggle to open the door with crutches and not help. Needless to say I slipped a bit trying to get in and well irratated my knee.  Not once did she offer me any help.  She just stood there watching.  When I hold a door for someone to be nice and they do not say "thank you" I make a point to very loudly say, "Your welcome".  I feel as if our society has this attitude of entitlement and the "world owes me".  I find the generation after me was brought up not taught how to respect people and lack of everyday common sense manners.  I know that when I have kids, they will be taught that they are to respect their teachers and elders and I will very much be pushing everyday manners in their routine. I work a second job(yes, I am crazy), and nothing disgusts me more than giving a child their ice cream and them just grabbing it out of my hand without saying "thank you" or the parents not encouraging them to say thank you.  Whatever happened to manners?
  • imageCinPitt:
    I live in NYC and I didn't think I would be offered any seats on the train but to my surpris that wasn't true. The few times I have used it a man has always givin up his seat to me, always men not women. The women have always cut me off before I can get there. It really made me think.

    Yes, this has been my experience.  Men will get up (never a man in a business suit, though), but I always get the fake sleeping when women see me approaching, and twice in the last week women pushed me out of the way to get the end seat where you can use the pole to stabilize yourself getting up and down.  The 2nd time it happened I made a stink and she got up and walked to the other end of the car in shame.  We can only hope that there really is karma.

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  • imagemal922:

    I know how you feel.  I'm the sort of person who holds doors open for other people, and I don't understand why people can't be more courteous in general.  I'm in Texas, so I would also expect that people would be a little more polite.  Don't even get me started on how people acted when I used to take the Metro to and from work in D.C. 

    A lot of times, I get the impression that people are just oblivious and not particularly considerate, not that they are specifically ignoring the fact that I'm pregnant when they choose to be that way.  However, I have had several situations in just the past week where I felt like rude people pushed by me in a crowded store -- one man completely ran into me cruising through BBB like it was a race track -- and I wanted to shout "yeah, it totally makes sense that I should get out of YOUR way!"  I think I'm noticing it more because I feel like I take up so much more space when trying to navigate crowded store aisles and that sort of thing.

    I will never understand this.  I see people in my office building.  They are really nice normal people.  Then I would see the same people at metro and they are pushing and acting like animals.  DH has very strong feelings that I should not take metro while I am pregnant.  Thank goodness for Uber.

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  • I've noticed this too! I commute to work (in Philadelphia) and get knocked into on the subway constantly, everyone is in such a rush. Also, no one has offered up their seat to me yet and I have ask people to move their bags off an empty seat just so I can sit!
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