February 2012 Moms
nattyk
member
Open Letter Wednesday
nattyk
member
I havent seen this in a while, but I have one today. Let's hear 'em, ladies!
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Re: Open Letter Wednesday
Dear Coworkers,
I'm not supposed to close my door unless I'm on the phone or in with a patient, but I might have to if you dont stop coming in and talking to me! I'm glad that my patient didnt show up so that I can get my paperwork done instead. I dont really care if people are getting their offices moved, because I'm not involved with that. I also dont really care that you have to pay $20 per day to park your car while you're on a cruise. Leave me alone!
Sincerely,
Drowning in paperwork
Dear Self,
DS slept through the night, why cant you?? Hurry up and get rid of this stupid cold so that we can be well rested for work.
Signed,
Tired and sick of coughing
Dear DH,
Please just ask me to make the dip for your work party instead of pretending like it's so hard to make that you cant figure it out. It's buffalo chicken dip, not a 5 course meal.
Love,
The cook
Dear dude that I almost hit:
I'm glad that you think stop signs are optional. In case you didn't notice, the speed limit for the road I was on is 50 MPH, and the roads are wet. So when you pulled right out in front of me I don't fully understand why you forgot where your gas pedal was. I had to slam on my breaks and I skid. But thank you for taking the time to pull your phone away from your ear so you could flip ME off. How rude of me.
Sincerely,
You're lucky I love my car or I just might have hit you on purpose.
Dear H,
Get the da*n vasectomy already. You've said for months you would. Now my best friend is taking Plan B due to a...slip...and you know this. You said you'd call the doctor this morning...yet you would rather browse Craig's LIst. Get the snip or I will snip it for you. I don't want to be in the same predicament she is!
Love,
Your tired of your excuses wife
Dear Crazy Azz Mama,
Why must you ruin everything for me, compete about everything, you (continue to) one-up me on every post, but now you have to taint AppleCheeks w/ you evil? Do you not understand that I love them, and you reposting anything I post about them on my wall, is beginning to make me sad. ACs are supposed to be all sparkly unicorns and you are an evil billy-goat eating troll in my fantasy forest.
Everyone sees why is going on, you are completely transparent. Why are you trying to be me? If I threw DD off a bridge would your DD be right behind? People aren't stupid, it's way too much to be a co-incidence and evryone is catching on to how pathetic your act is.
Also, I consider welfare fraud to be the lowest denomentator in humaninty. I am glad you Baby Daddy told on you. Stop being Lazy and go back to work, or figure out how to support yourself. It is not the governments problem that you want to stay home and do nothing.
Also, I can already see which parts of DD's birthday party you are going to steal for your DDs party. Just remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, oh and that you are a no good copier and all the family will see it.
And finally, if you are going to copy so much of my life, why don't you try to copy a little class.
Barely tolerated
Your new life "role model"
I am about to lose my mind and you either don't notice or don't care.
I get that you are not feeling well but we still have 50 people coming to our house for DD's party on Saturday. I am so tired if hearing you say how you are so mad at yourself because you really want to be helping me out. I have easy 5 minute things you can do. Surely you can manage to accomplish some of them while taking breaks as needed. So how about you do it???
Also, I am about to throw your cell phone out the window. I am sick of having the "no phones at the dinner table" conversation with you at least once a month. My rule is a simple one and hasn't changed in the last 6 months. You spend all evening on Facebook, which surely can't be that interesting that you also have to spend the 30 minutes for dinner on there too. If I knew you didn't have time, I might start to wonder about your activities...
And I'm just going to say it. You didn't get my point the other night when we were talking. I can't keeping going like this!! You. Need. To. Help. Me. This is no longer an option. This is a requirement.
Sincerely,
The woman who loves you but needs some backup
Dear Abby,
Mommy loves you. You are the bright spot in my day.
Xoxo,
Momma
Dear snowstorm,
You suck! We are moving today and tomorrow and you are making it more difficult than a mid-week move already is.
Sincerely,
Not a fan of winter
Dear school district,
Thank you for not canceling school today even though EVERYONE ELSE DID. I really wanted to drive through this crap. On top of that, thanks for not having the afternoon kindergardners come in, but not calling of school. I'm sure the roads were unsafe for them, but safe for us. It's nice that those teachers got half a day with out kids to themselves for prep. Oh, and it was smart to keep the kids in for recess today. They melt in snow and really exert far too much energy out there anyway. I'd much rather have the extra energy overflowing when I try to teach lesson.
Your annoyed teacher
Dear H,
You proved that you don't listen to my entire statement when I talk. This morning I specifically told you to leave the hanging clothes on the little rack and small pile under it out. Instead you left the pile of clothes, but took all the hanging clothes. I now have nothing to wear tomorrow besides pants, undies and socks. I'm praying you come back from the new house with an acceptable top. But your matching skills are not always the best. . .
I do appreciate that you are doing much of the packing and took today, tomorrow and Friday off work to get us moved and partially unpacked. I wish I would take off too.
Love,
Your wife.