You're not going to believe what our pedi told us....

pamelamelanie924

At her 2 month check up I told her sometimes DD gets so fussy at night that I have to put her in the bed with me. I know...not the best idea, but it's the ONLY thing that works. I've tried EVERYTHING. So of course I got the lecture about SIDS and how she's already at risk because she was a preemie. I asked her what I was suppose to do when nothing else worked and swear to God she told me I needed to start letting her cry it out! I told her she was crazy and there was no way a TWO MONTH old should just be left there to cry! She said that if we didn't start letting her CIO that we'd be having this same conversation at every visit because she would never learn to self sooth and would never STTN. I just couldn't believe it & had to share.

danak4

You're right, I can't believe it. Time to find a new pedi? 

iggywan

Yeah... crazy.

 

But... (stepping tentitavely).... have you tried letting her cry for a little when you first put her in the crib? I did this with dd, and at first it was an hour, then 45 min... then.. well, she falls asleep after a few minutes now. I would lay in her room so she could see me... but didnt pick her up, just petted her head and talked to her...

 Once or twice, though, she actually was hungry, so i of course picked her up and fed her.. but that cry is different...

Every kid is different, and you know best... but just a thought?? 

credcat7

iggywan:

Yeah... crazy.

 

But... (stepping tentitavely).... have you tried letting her cry for a little when you first put her in the crib? I did this with dd, and at first it was an hour, then 45 min... then.. well, she falls asleep after a few minutes now. I would lay in her room so she could see me... but didnt pick her up, just petted her head and talked to her...

 Once or twice, though, she actually was hungry, so i of course picked her up and fed her.. but that cry is different...

Every kid is different, and you know best... but just a thought?? 

I keep reading aboutthe idea that you let them cry for 2 minutes then reassure them you are there... then to 5 minutes... then to 10 minutes.... so you constatly reassure you are then just with longer stretches.....

I won't admit to trying this as my theory is that I let her chill in her PNP when she is happy and content and let her talk herself to sleep rather than trying when she is fussy and not gonna have a bit of the idea of CIO

seraphiclust

I'd find a new pedi personally. A baby shouldn't be left to cry (or sleep trained) until 6 months (4 months at the earliest) which is when they start to become capable of self soothing. Craziness!

Emerson2007

Did she mean full-on, or just a few minutes? I had an ex-pedi that told us to do the CIO at 7 weeks old, and we did, not knowing better -he was our first LO. It worked, and he is a normal 5 year old, BUT, when we switched Dr's with our next 2 they told us not to CIO until they are a little older. My new pedi is a lot younger.....I wonder if it is an old school method? Now, if it is a "I'm sleepy cry" I don't mind a minute or two to cry, but usually I will pat him or I am right there, I just don't pick up if I know he is not hungry / wet. 

laxkal23

I have 2people I knw who started to "sleep train" their LOs around 3 months they swore by it and still do. BUT my sister never let her child cry it out and while it was More work getting up to soothe in th early days, all of her kids one is 3 one is 6 put themselves to bed no fuss nothing... Mommy I'm tired can we go to bed, pjs on and done just like that. On the other hand both of the CIO kids are no longer sleeping through the night at almost 2 and have started to gt up long stretches in the middle of the night unless brought into their parents bed. 

I think my sister might have been onto something 

iggywan

Hm, that is the thing with parenting. There are many ways of doing things, and many different kinds of babies!.

 Trusting my LO to figure out how to fall asleep in her crib worked for us, and now we have a consistant bedtime. Did she cry a bit? yes. Was she harmed? no. Does she have all her needs met and more affection than she could possibly need? yes. Could this not work at all for the original poster? of course! 

pamelamelanie924

I took it as full on crying and not just fussing. I'm fine with letting her lay there and fuss for a while, but not full on crying. All my friends have kids and they've said their pedi's said the exact opposite so I'm not sure what her deal was. She was an older doctor, retired military, etc.. 

I don't know..all I know is it really pissed me off! 

ironmom5

Pam, I don't say this often, and I hate when people just throw it out there, but I would find a new pediatrician.  Not because I disagree with that advice (though I do heartily disagree), but because you seem very uncomfortable with it.  This is one of those things that medical opinions vary greatly, so you need to find a pedi that fits in with your parenting style and maybe is a little less "old-school."

If this were something like the rice cereal thing, where professional opinion is essentially unanimous, I wouldn't recommend doctor shopping.  But you and your doctor have a fundamental difference in parenting philosophies, which can lead to issues down the line.

I switched pedi's shortly after S was born, and it was the best decision I could have made.  I found a large practice, and read each doctor's bio, one by one.  I was more interested in how they answered the personal questions, such as "What do you love about being a pediatrician?", a lot more than who went to Harvard.  It was a bit of trial and error, but I found a doctor who is pro-AP, and really listens to parent concerns and instincts.  GL!

katigox

I have nothing new to offer, bc I agree with PP about there being a difference between fussing and crying, and you have to decide what you are comfortable with . . . plus, also about switching pedi's that fit with your parenting style.  We were blessed with a great pedi, that was actually taking a shift at the hospital when I gave birth, and took care of DS' circumcision: we've been seeing him ever since, bc he made a great first impression.  Very easy-going, just how we like it

It really does make a difference to be on the same page with your pedi ~

pamelamelanie924

You're right, it really did bother me. When she was talking about me putting her in the bed with me she even said that if she falls off the changing table and breaks an arm I get a redo, but with SIDS you don't get redo's..you have a dead baby. Who says that?!?! I didn't even schedule an appointment yesterday, I just told them I'd call them to schedule. So yes, I'm definitely going to find another pediatrician.