name issue - would this deter you?

PepVeroni · January 2013

My husband and I FINALLY shared our opinions on each other's name lists, and while we have a couple possibilities that we both like, he wasn't a huge fan of my favorite, Tessa. He prefers Vanessa, which I am just lukewarm about.

He had two issues with Tessa. Would either of these deter you from using the name?

-His name is Jeff, so he's concerned that Tess sounds too similar and would be confused a lot while calling the names in the house. I don't think she would go by Tess until she's older, if at all, and I don't see it as a big problem.

-Our neighbor's toddler is named Vessa. I actually shared with this neighbor a while back, well before I was pregnant again, that Tessa was my favorite girl name, and she thought it was cool. These neighbors are not close friends, but our older kids (Vessa and our DS James) will be in the same grade at school.

526SadieSadie · January 2013

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me. You might move, they might move. It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

plunderb · January 2013

Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.

I'd move along down the list.

Helenahhandbasket · January 2013

Neither of those issues would deter me personally, but if your DH says it's off the table, it's off the table.

Would he consider Teresa, nn Tessa?

BWC4747 · January 2013

neither would make me take Tessa off my list. Hopefully DH comes around.

shellyco · January 2013

Neither of these things would concern me enough to not use it, but it sounds like YH isn't sold on it. Jeff and Tess have the same vowel sound but otherwise I don't thi

nk it would be that confusing. I absolutely wouldn't worry about the similar name of a neighbor girl who won't even be in the same year of school as your daughter.

RJM050705 · January 2013

526SadieSadie:
To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me. You might move, they might move. It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

Ditto all of this! I like Tessa, it's cute!

Candace7p13 · January 2013

If you like and he can warm up to it then I say go for it. My name is Candace and I like the name Cadence but I can't get myself to name my baby a name that sounds so close to mine. But If it was my absolute favorite name, no I would not let that deter me!

As it is not my favorite name it was quickly eliminated do to the similarity. I do love the name Vanessa. But you may as well go with Tessa then. But the important part is that you both come to a mutual agreement on a name. I know a couple who 'decided' on a name (i forget the decided name) but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story

Good luck

plunderb · January 2013

Candace7p13:
but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story Good luck

That crossed right over from "disrespectful a$$" and into "controlling abuser" territory. Here's hoping they get all the names right on the divorce papers.

kmichln · January 2013

526SadieSadie:
To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me. You might move, they might move. It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

All of this. I think Tessa is just fine.

Smootchy · January 2013

526SadieSadie:

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me. You might move, they might move. It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

this (especially bold)

PepVeroni · January 2013

plunderb:
Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.
I'd move along down the list.

Yeah, I'm wondering if those are just coverups and he doesn't want to admit he just plain old doesn't like Tessa.

PepVeroni · January 2013

Joy2611:
As for the kid's names being very close together in sound, I can give you a personal experience! My name is Kim. My dad's name is Jim. When someone called, we'd often only hear the "-im" sound. From context, it was always extremely obvious which one of us was needed.
The phone rang at 7pm? "-iiiiiiiiim!! The phone is for you! It's Kate!" That was me.
Knock at the door on a Saturday? "-iiiiim! The repairman is here!" That was definitely my Dad.
I can't remember a single time it was an issue. I could often tell by tone who my mom wanted anyway. Ha.
As for your neighbor? I don't think it's fair to not choose a name because of someone who is in your life at that moment but will probably not be there for your entire life. My parents gave up a name they loved for my sister because she was born near the same time as my dad's old friend. He hasn't spoken to this old friend in about thirty years and I think my mom still laments not using the name.

That makes perfect sense! (and I thought your name was Joy . I don't see the sound-alike thing as being an issue. I'm seriously thinking he just didn't want to admit to me that he doesn't like Tessa.

PepVeroni · January 2013

Candace7p13:
If you like and he can warm up to it then I say go for it. My name is Candace and I like the name Cadence but I can't get myself to name my baby a name that sounds so close to mine. But If it was my absolute favorite name, no I would not let that deter me! As it is not my favorite name it was quickly eliminated do to the similarity. I do love the name Vanessa. But you may as well go with Tessa then. But the important part is that you both come to a mutual agreement on a name. I know a couple who 'decided' on a name (i forget the decided name) but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story Good luck

Wow, that's a crazy story! Hopefully it wasn't too late for them to have it changed? That's a terrible thing to do if it's true!

kayjay10 · January 2013

I don't have an issue with either. Jeff and Tessa are not close IMO. My name is Kelly and DD is Ella and while they both have the "ell" sound, we've never had a problem. I don't put any stock in neighbor names. They will probably not be your neighbors forever and most neighborhoods with small children will have rhyming names or even same names.

Court0026 · January 2013

526SadieSadie:
To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me. You might move, they might move. It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

All of this.