pregnancy hormones - offended!

Danyella1026

One of my really good girlfriends is due in June with her second and told me very early on that she was pregnant.  Well, I wanted to wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone (my family doesn't even know yet), but she called me out on it this weekend.  Flat out said "you're pregnant aren't you?  I can tell because you look like hell."  ouch.  I know I look like hell but come on you don't have to tell me I do!  I know she didn't mean any harm by it and frequently just says whats her on her mind so I'm not mad at her, but I have to admit I'd rather people not tell me I look like hell!

Mr&MrsMTA

WOW....I would have been pissed. I know you said you were not mad at her but I would just explain your feelings to her and why you did not care for her comment.

peanutmuse

Depending on the friend, if someone said this to me (who was also pregnant), I would probably assume that she was commiserating with me. Frankly, most of the pregnancy-related conversations I've had with people are not about the good parts of pregnancy, KWIM?

But it is annoying to hear someone say that, especially if you are feeling sensitive that day. So I totally hear ya.

amandacasey2013

Ya..that was rude of her. Your friends should be able to tell you things, but only if it's between you and her not in front of others.

kateisgreat

I hate when people try to out me for being pregnant. Like it would stay a secret forever if they didn't weasel it out of me at 6 weeks. I am still holding a grudge from previous pregnancies, I won't even go around certain people right now because I know they will notice my greasy skin and bloated belly and call me out. I've had to "untell" them a few times after m/c because they outed me, not because I wanted them to know. I'd think after that happened they would mind their business, but no. 

I'm sorry your friend said you were looking rough. I look terrible, but I don't even care at this point.

mybabyhop

This is so annoying. I don't know why people think it is ok to "out" other people's pregnancies. I had an mc last time which has made me keep this pregnancy quiet longer. Some people's rude reactions and comments after the mc were unbelievable and some of the same people have called me out this time. I've told them to basically mind their own business ...

Carnation77

I would have given her the look of death and a set-down away from anyone else.  It's not her job to tell people you're pregnant.  In fact, it's none of her business.  If she does that to you she'll do it to other people.  

kateisgreat

mybabyhop:

This is so annoying. I don't know why people think it is ok to "out" other people's pregnancies. I had an mc last time which has made me keep this pregnancy quiet longer. Some people's rude reactions and comments after the mc were unbelievable and some of the same people have called me out this time. I've told them to basically mind their own business ...

Some people think their asinine comments are somehow "supportive". I'd rather have zero support after a m/c (besides DH), than have the comments from people who have no clue what it's like to suffer a pregnancy loss. My sister is the worst offender. She told me she understood what I was going through b/c she got nervous about m/c between u/s in her last pregnancy. And she understood my IF because she didn't get a BFP on her first cycle (when she started TTC after she had O'd and got her period 3 days later). 

peanutmuse

kateisgreat:

My sister is the worst offender. She told me she understood what I was going through b/c she got nervous about m/c between u/s in her last pregnancy. And she understood my IF because she didn't get a BFP on her first cycle (when she started TTC after she had O'd and got her period 3 days later). 

Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with that BS.

Danyella1026

peanut+muse:

kateisgreat:

My sister is the worst offender. She told me she understood what I was going through b/c she got nervous about m/c between u/s in her last pregnancy. And she understood my IF because she didn't get a BFP on her first cycle (when she started TTC after she had O'd and got her period 3 days later). 

Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with that BS.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with that as well 

thankfully she brought me into a different room to ask me so she didn't out me in front of everyone else.  I just really wanted to wait to tell everyone.  Its been pretty obvious because I've been super tired and do really look like hell lately, but I was hoping no one would ask.  oh well.. 

 

lynn97

How rude, OP! I think I would have to say something to her about the inappropriate was of her comment.

I have one friend who was a super snot before I had DS, always obsessing over whether I was pg or not. Well, I went to a party and didn't drink one night and the rumors from her flew! I found out I was pg the next week but really just wasn't drinking b/c I didn't want a drink that night. Anyway, after I announced, she told everyone about how she knew first and she still talks about it. It really irritates me, b/c there was nothing to know at that point. Also, I was less than 4 weeks pg when I found out so there weren't any signs. Well, interestingly, I told that group of friends that I was pg a couple weeks ago. Somehow, she was never in the room when it was brought up and i didnt pull her aside to tell her separately so she will be the last to know this time. I haven't bothered to call or text her b/c of how snotty she was about it the last time. Also, just to clarify, she is one of those people who just has to be in the know on everything and is always in people's business and gossiping. I say karma!!

kateisgreat

Danyella1026:

peanut+muse:

kateisgreat:

My sister is the worst offender. She told me she understood what I was going through b/c she got nervous about m/c between u/s in her last pregnancy. And she understood my IF because she didn't get a BFP on her first cycle (when she started TTC after she had O'd and got her period 3 days later). 

Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with that BS.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with that as well 

thankfully she brought me into a different room to ask me so she didn't out me in front of everyone else.  I just really wanted to wait to tell everyone.  Its been pretty obvious because I've been super tired and do really look like hell lately, but I was hoping no one would ask.  oh well.. 

 

Sorry, I wasn't trying to hijack your thread. This stuff really grates my nerves, and outing pregnancies is one of my biggest pet peeves. I'm glad your friend had enough tact to not make a public announcement for you  

Danyella1026

kateisgreat:

Danyella1026:

peanut+muse:

kateisgreat:

My sister is the worst offender. She told me she understood what I was going through b/c she got nervous about m/c between u/s in her last pregnancy. And she understood my IF because she didn't get a BFP on her first cycle (when she started TTC after she had O'd and got her period 3 days later). 

Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with that BS.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with that as well 

thankfully she brought me into a different room to ask me so she didn't out me in front of everyone else.  I just really wanted to wait to tell everyone.  Its been pretty obvious because I've been super tired and do really look like hell lately, but I was hoping no one would ask.  oh well.. 

 

Sorry, I wasn't trying to hijack your thread. This stuff really grates my nerves, and outing pregnancies is one of my biggest pet peeves. I'm glad your friend had enough tact to not make a public announcement for you  

 

not at all!  always good to hear other stories as well and know you're not the only one going through/annoyed by things! 

wifeyvana

Sounds like she lacks a filter...sorry for her rude comment!

N_Koz

Yeah I got outed for not drinking twice in a row. Starting to wonder if my friends think I have a problem. Anyways that sucks that she just had to out you and come on did she really have to put it that way. Thats right up there with telling her I know your having a girl because you look like crap.