Here's a doozy for ya'll - need advice

astridp10 · January 2013

Hi everyone,

For starters, let me introduce myself as a complete lurker on the August 2012 moms board I hope ya'll will accept me and provide some of your useful and often humorous advice.

We have a doozy of a situation in our family. I have the sweetest, most lovely, intelligent, thoughtful SIL. Her husband is a pretty complete douchecanoe. Like cheating, lying, druggie douchecanoe over a long period of time, and apparently getting worse. Recently some pretty shocking information has come to my attention. I don't want to put all the dirty, nasty deets in here, but cheating, lying, incredibly self-absorbed druggie pretty much sums it up.

I'm sure she has some idea of this but not the dirty deets at all. This has without question crossed the line from problematic to completely unacceptable. She seems incredibly unhappy, but I don't think she sees leaving as a choice (obviously completely up to her). What would you do?

ks3pink · January 2013

Nothing. It's not your place. I'd she knows what is going on then she is making her own decisions. You shouldn't get involved.

CaliVal · January 2013

If she already knows he's a liar, cheater, and a drug addict, what could possibly come to light that would make her see things differently? If it's more of the same, I probably wouldn't bother bringing it up.

Also, I hope this isn't MUD. I only say that because you joined today and only have one post.

CLeigh03 · January 2013

This is an odd first post but ok, I would do nothing.

latnprincess · January 2013

CLeigh03:
This is an odd first post but ok, I would do nothing.

Ditto.

merricksmom · January 2013

No good comes from getting up in anyone's business. She needs to make her own decision.

astridp10 · January 2013

CaliVal:
If she already knows he's a liar, cheater, and a drug addict, what could possibly come to light that would make her see things differently? If it's more of the same, I probably wouldn't bother bringing it up.
Also, I hope this isn't MUD. I only say that because you joined today and only have one post.

Nope, not MUD. I wish. I'm actually posting under an AE which is why the join today and first post, although typically I'm a lurker.

She has got to have an idea about him being a liar and drug addict. I don't think you can be one without the other? Cheater, I'm 99% sure she has no idea, or the extent of it. Apparently we're not talking about just one familiar face here....like a few familiar, and many unfamiliar faces, if you get my drift. This isn't the first time that this has come up. I guess he has very little discretion in who he tells about these things?? So that's the part that would most likely make her see things very differently.

However, my thoughts were the same as what you posted here, that it's between them. And getting all up in other people's personal business is meddling. But, since I found out the information yesterday it's been bothering me a lot, so wanted to see what other August moms had to say. What I'm really afraid of is that the information is going to come out via some other source and our family is going to be torn apart. If I'm hearing about it, then I can't be the only one who knows.

Oh, and SIL, she's pregnant.

Mrs. Rohde · January 2013

If you think she knows then she's allowing it to continue. Her problem. It's not your business even if it is your family. It sucks that she's pregnant with this guys baby but she's an adult and knows the consequences of her actions.

I hope she realizes that he's not worth it and moves on.