I've read a lot of stuff during my pregnancy... every week I know what's typically happening and I've known what's coming up.
I'm 38 weeks tomorrow and realizing that I haven't read anything about new babies! I feel like I know nothing, and I know that a lot will come with experience, but I'd still like to have some "tools in my belt" so I at least know a little of what to expect.
I'm having a hard time making the switch from thinking about my inside baby to my almost outside baby...
I don't necessarily want to buy books to read, but does anyone know of a website or something they can recommend? I just want some basics of what to expect, nothing crazy!
Re: changing baby mindset... from inside to outside baby
I think educating yourself is important, but I don't think it's as important as trusting your mothering instincts. They are powerful and rarely wrong.
You can learn all about baby sleep cycles and feeding methods and all of that, but really, none of the books know your baby and what your baby needs. They are individuals and develop at different rates, just like adults do. You just need to listen to your baby's cues and do what is best for your family. I don't worry about whether or not my child is following the standard development chart much. My doc assesses health and I *know* when something seems off enough to warrant a visit to the doc. Sometimes I think reading all of that stuff makes us hyperparanoid and looking for problems when they aren't really there.
I think learning infant CPR is important and something you could work on now. I would also read up on signs that your baby is sick enough to be seen by a doctor (although usually they will discharge you from the hospital with all of that info). Things like carseat safety and how to properly latch your child in is important.
Other than that, just go with the flow and make sure you have your mommy friends on speed dial. I trust the real life advice of my friends and family over anything I read in a book. If you are planning to breastfeed, make sure you have a support person who has been through it and knows what they are talking about so you can call then if you have questions.
Is there anything in particular you are nervous or confused about? Maybe some of the STMs here could help you out.
I think I also just feel guilty that I read so much during pregnancy and the arrival of baby is so much more important yet I don't know much! I FEEL like I want to trust my instincts instead of read a bunch right now, and I agree that reading could make you look for issues that aren't there... I guess I just want to make sure I'm a good mom...Hm.
You're already a good mom
(unless you've been smoking through this pregnancy and doing drugs, then I retract that statement :P)
Seriously though, (sorry to get religious, but I am, so here goes...) God gave this baby to you for a reason. He knows that you are the perfect mother for this child. No matter what happens, you have a bond with this baby that no one else has. A human being can't grow inside of your body for this long and not have a deep "supernatural" connection with you.
I can look at my children and know when something is wrong. I can see it in their eyes. Nothing can prepare you for that - it just comes with the territory of being a mother.
And remember that a baby doesn't need much. Honestly. We think they need all of these toys and gadgets for comfort, but all they REALLY want is a full belly, a warm and dry place to rest, and the comfort of their mother. You're going to know if your baby is hungry, wet, or wants to be held. Don't worry about it.
You're going to be great. Just trust yourself and make sure you have a great support network.DS1: Quinn - 10.22.10 and DS2: Cole - 01.18.13
I agree with Adamwife; I'm also a FTM and I think having a newborn, especially YOUR newborn is going to be a lot of "on the job training" (as my close friend and mother to triplets calls it). Those first few weeks are going to be you getting to know each other and knowing what your baby likes and responds to.
Do you have any experience being around babies? Babysitting or spending time with nieces/nephews or friends' kids? There are some things about babies that you'll need to know (how to hold the baby, change a diaper, give baby a bath, what position to put them in for sleep), etc. but I think they'll teach you a lot while you're in the hospital. Other than that, have your mom/MIL and some mommy friends on call and you'll be fine.
Best advice I got with my first was from my mom. She told me that the issue with all of the books out there is that your baby hasn't read them.
I did the opposite of you and read everything so much so that i was convinced of certain ideas and philosphy that doesn't actually work for me at all. It caused me to be so stressed and not to trust my instincts.
There is no 'right' course here, and looking back if there was one right way, then everyone would follow it. And the person who wrote that book would be a billionaire.
You will be fine!
Not so much on the subject of newborns but more to do with what your body will go through after delivery I've loved Lucie's List's article on the postpartum experience. Funny and informative, a combination I appreciate
https://www.lucieslist.com/the-postpartum-experience/