Thoughts?
eatmorecupcakes
member
I will preface this by saying that I know that this is a hugely personal decision, but I am just curious on what you think about my options.
DH and I know that we are done after this baby. Like, not a question in our minds. He will be 36 in June and I'll be 35 in May. For the past 4 or 5 months we've been discussing his getting a vasectomy after this baby is born. Today my OB asked what we plan to do for birth control after this baby and we told her what we had been discussing.
She brought 2 other options to the the table and now my brain is swimming with what we should do. One option was a non hormonal IUD which I am about 95% sure I don't want. I'm not ruling it out, but it's definitely not high on the list.
She also mentioned I could get a tubal before I even leave the hospital. If I deliver vaginally they just make a small incision in the belly button since your fallopian tubes are closer to the surface after birth. This was not an option I have even considered, however it just seems so logical. I'm already going to be recovering from birth - why make my DH go through an additional procedure? (my thoughts, not his! haha)
Unfortunately, in order for a tubal to be covered by insurance in the hospital, you have to sign paperwork 72 hours before delivery authorizing it so we are in a time crunch. I may just sign the paperwork and then opt out if we can't come to a decision.
Permanence is not a factor that weighs into this decision because we are done. D.O.N.E. I'm just not sure if I know what I am getting myself into. Is one a bigger surgery than the other? Are there other side effects I'm not taking into account? Should I just wait since it seems like I am having to rush my decision? TIA!
Re: Thoughts?
My sister got a tubal done the day she had her third. She said the procedure was not painful, but she was in so much pain the next few days after. Not trying to deter you, but just letting you know her experience! She is not one to cry, or complain, and she called me in tears. How does she feel now? She said she would have never reconsidered. They are done, she is done, no more kids.
I had the Paraguard (copper, non-hormonal IUD) before and didn't like it. It made me extra crampy. If somehow the responsibility of birth control had to fall on me - and I knew I wanted no more children, I'd go with a tubal.
In fact, now that you mention it, I will bring up the topic at my next OB appointment. I hadn't considered it before because it hadn't occurred to me I could get it done right then and there, but now that I think about it, it make a lot of sense. Like you said, you,re already there and you're already going to be dealing with recovery.
Also, I haven't really done any research, but it sounds to me like a tubal a more effective form of BC than a vasectomy.
That's kind of what I was thinking too, but I don't know if it is or if it just seems like it would be.
Dh will have a vasectomy when we're done having kids. It only takes a weekend to recover. This is just our personal choice.
I wouldn't personally do it post delivery since you would have so much more going on. You would be recovering from having a baby and then the tubal. BUT I don't know anyone who has had a tubal so I'm kind-of no good on advice pertaining to the side effects!
Olivia June BFP 12/26/10 EDD 09/01/11 Birthday 08/02/11
BFP 12/25/12 EDD 09/06/13 M/C, 01/02/13
BFP 01/28/13 EDD 10/08/13 STICK BABY!
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12
I've heard of failed vasectomies where basically new canals would form to replace the ones that were severed. therefore restoring the sperm flow (or whatever you call it). I don't think that can happen in the case of a tubal, though. I would offer to ask my OB at my next appointment and let you know, but that's not until next month and I don't think you can wait that long
In either case, the tubing can heal and re-form back together restoring fertility.
It's not likely, but it can happen. The human body is an amazing thing.
In any event, I'd just rock the tubal, Cups. There really is no sense in putting DH in for a procedure and having to deal with the "man recovery." You're a tough broad, I know you can handle it!! :P
Anyways, whatever you decide, let us know.
I'm curious as to why the ParaGard doesn't appeal to you? Not permanent enough? I mean, 10 years is a long time especially if you're already 35, 10 years could take you to pre-menopause... Not to freak you out. I'm not that far behind you.
Only if you promise not to make fun of me for making no sense.
I don't like the idea of having something implanted into my body. The reason this makes no sense? The way they would do the tubal involves them essentially clamping off the tubes which would mean they are putting something into my body. For whatever reason though it seems like two different things to me.
I hadn't actually thought of menopause being "not that far off." I think sometimes I totally forget how old I am!! Haha. I guess that means I could probably get by without any type of surgery in not that long of a time frame.
Gah, I hate being an adult.
Even with permanence off the table, it's not the sort of decision I think a person can make in a short period of time. I'm still going back and forth on BC after this baby, and I have months to decide.
Anyway, a vasectomy seems to be the lesser of the two in terms of post-op pain and rec. He'll have to ice the boys for a day or two post-vaz, but I hear it's a pretty simple thing to bounce back from.
On the other hand, I've hear some stories of significant pain after a tubal, and also stories of significantly-heavier periods/strange periods until...well, for some it was until they quit having periods. Others claim to have no issues whatsoever.
At any rate, I think a serious cram session is in order. Try to study up on all the pros and cons of a tubal as much as possible. But definitely don't jump the gun on having it done. It's easy to change your mind later if you opt out initially - you've got some time before you're going to be doing the hanky-panky again anyway. But it's not quite so easy to change your mind if you go for it. In the event of an uncool post-op experience, you'd have to deal with some amount of suffering before you could remedy the situation.
// I love you too. //
Are you kidding me? We're two coconuts in the same pod... Swear!! I haven't been on birth control since my teens. I am a farking nut case on hormonal birth control and I am so grossed out by the idea of something inside of me for any length of time. That being said... after #4 I will have a tubal.
I know absolutely nothing about this as we are definitely not done so researching hasn't crossed my mind. So if my concerns seem random that is why.