Share your best

JordynLeighx3

Advice for a FTM with twins! I'm not completely lost but I'm more at odds how I, at times, may have to do this alone. How do you ladies get up with both babies in the wee hours of the night. Do you always have help? Do you do one baby at a time? Are you experienced enough where you can pick them both up alone and nurse?

Best advice so far I've been given is to "sleep when they sleep" and "wake then both to keep them on the same schedule"

Other than that, most people have refrained from giving advice because they only had one baby and didn't feel theirs would benefit me.

Anything will help.

Reilly626

Best advice is if one wakes to eat, wake the other and get them both done or you will be up all night long and really feel awful. My husband was off 1.5 months so we shared everything. When he went back to work we did shifts. Also when your husband gets home from work go to sleep and let him take over. We did shifts when he went back to work and that's how I got through the hardest first 2 months. I would sleep 6 pm- 11 pm while he took care of them, then I was back on duty for night shift while he slept. He has to sleep bc he teaches, a very demanding job, not a crash behind your desk one.

Make all your bottles in advance- I had them all set to go. Oh, and 2 weeks after you get home go out and get your hair done, I felt so much better!!!!!! Good luck. Mine are 6 months old and loving them at this age! At 4 months they slept the night, so keep that in mind, it gets easier!! Also have help at your ped. Appts, I can't do it without my dad to hold one! 

jlefief

I always laugh at the "sleep when they sleep" advice.  Yeah right!  Never was able to do that once, except at night.  During day nap times is your only chance to clean, wash bottles, laundry, etc.

 DO keep them on the same schedules.  If you don't tandem, sit on the floor and put one baby in a boppy with a bottle and nurse the other.  I used bottle props.  Some scoff at those but when you are survining off a few hours of sleep per day and you have 2 hungry babies you do what you can to make things easier.  They worked like a charm.   Once I switched to exclusive formula I put them both on the floor with bottle props and sat in front of them ready to pick up the one that needs to burp first.

Reilly626

jlefief:

I always laugh at the "sleep when they sleep" advice.  Yeah right!  Never was able to do that once, except at night.  During day nap times is your only chance to clean, wash bottles, laundry, etc.

 DO keep them on the same schedules.  If you don't tandem, sit on the floor and put one baby in a boppy with a bottle and nurse the other.  I used bottle props.  Some scoff at those but when you are survining off a few hours of sleep per day and you have 2 hungry babies you do what you can to make things easier.  They worked like a charm.   Once I switched to exclusive formula I put them both on the floor with bottle props and sat in front of them ready to pick up the one that needs to burp first.

 

that is so true! I never napped I was too busy restocking, washing, and making bottles.

 

other great tip- best decision ever- when I got big I hired house cleaners! I will not let them go either I have no time to clean the house! 

zombiemommy

The one up both up thing is def necessary if you're breastfeeding. We started bottle feeding pumped breast milk exclusively at 3.5 weeks, and when we did that we stopped doing one up, both up. Instead, my husband would take one baby and I would take the other. This allows the babies to sleep as long as they are able.

raraavis28

Reilly626:

Best advice is if one wakes to eat, wake the other and get them both done or you will be up all night long and really feel awful. My husband was off 1.5 months so we shared everything. When he went back to work we did shifts. Also when your husband gets home from work go to sleep and let him take over. We did shifts when he went back to work and that's how I got through the hardest first 2 months. I would sleep 6 pm- 11 pm while he took care of them, then I was back on duty for night shift while he slept. He has to sleep bc he teaches, a very demanding job, not a crash behind your desk one.

Make all your bottles in advance- I had them all set to go. Oh, and 2 weeks after you get home go out and get your hair done, I felt so much better!!!!!! Good luck. Mine are 6 months old and loving them at this age! At 4 months they slept the night, so keep that in mind, it gets easier!! Also have help at your ped. Appts, I can't do it without my dad to hold one! 

This is a really good idea....:)

I can only echo all of PPs advice; being a very recent FTM I don't have much of my own except just take it a day at a time. These first couple weeks have been a total sleep-deprived blur but I keep telling myself that this is just the "survival" phase and that it will pass (at least that's what everyone says:) There will be good days and not-so-good days, but the not-so-good days are nothing to get upset about or fear that something is going terribly wrong.

 Also if there is any help available TAKE IT! This is not the time to be independent (if you have the option of course).

GL; you're gonna do great!

JordynLeighx3

Thank you everyone! Luckily we have a lot of help for the first 3 weeks to help us get in the swing of things! Also, I just scheduled my hair appt for RIGHT around the time I should be delivering...I didn't want to look a hot mess with a ton of family coming to visit and wasn't sure when I'd have time to do so in that first month lol
Thank you all for your words of wisdom! I'm so excited to meet my girls!

jadeks1031

sing4mysavior:

in the very beginning, we had both kids in our room, next to the bed to minimize the up and down for everyone. it took about 2 weeks for me to be able to get everyone latched on by myself. we moved them into their room/own cribs at about 5 months, and by then i could certainly pick them both up and tandem feed/put back into bed by myself. We both thought since i had the boobs, why wake DH...but...in retrospect...i don't really suggest that. It left me feeling lonely and ....used? ask for help from dh...even if you just need some emotional support in the MOTN. 

take care of YOU....speak up to dh when you need visitors to go home, or if you need some space, or a certain kind of help...maybe have a chat with dh BEFORE the babies arrive about how you're not sure what you may need/want once they arrive and hopefully he can be your protector and stick up for you when you need something.

have a safe spot planned out for them...a bouncy seat or secure hoppy...something like that, so if you need to leave them on the floor to run to another room or take a quick shower, they can be nearby and safe....(i guess plan ahead for some kind of "holding pen") 

i also laugh at "sleep when they sleep" but yes...one up both up until someone starts sleeping through a feeding attempt...then you stagger night feeds...

to regulate supply for BF...feed when they tell you...even if it's only been 30 minutes...it is ALL you will be doing for the first 6-12 weeks. it is non.stop. it is tiring, but that's normal...and it gets better and they get faster.

have lots of snacks and water on hand...eat and drink anytime the babies do.

also, in relation to BF...have the number of an LC available and plan to never give up on a bad day or a rough feeding...make yourself wait until a certain day and time (i will continue until thursday at 11:00) and re-evaluate then how things are really going. 

enjoy their tiny newborn-ness...the downy hair...the smells...the squeaks...the precious breath on your neck....those wiggly little bodies squirming around...and also know that the first 3 months or so are just survival. the house may be a mess, the laundry piled up, you eat more delivery/take out...but then things will start will calm down and some normalcy will return eventually. you will survive. 

and we'll be here if anything specific comes up, or you have a rough day or night. 

Thank you for this!  It is very helpful!

macchiatto

Dh and I slept in shifts until the boys started STTN. Totally saved my sanity! (He had a demanding job but we still split the night shift evenly. I went to bed really early, between 7 or 8 p.m., so we could each get in 5-6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.)

AmyJoy728

The first 3mo are survival mode, but just keep telling yourself it won't last forever.

 I came home on a Friday. my mom came Saturday, and then Sunday and stayed for a week. My dh went back to work that first monday. His mom came for the next week. Dh and I did maybe 90% off all night feedings together and he worked full time and went to law school at night. I napped when they napped once to twice a day. I took another nap period to eat and relax and the last nap to do housework. I made btl by the pitchers. Bf didn't work for me, and I'm glad as it is more time consuming. My mom and sister still each come once a week so I can run errands. I would suggest buying paper plates so dishes are one less thing to worry abt. I also bought ready made meals and had the fridge stocked.