Ferber/Paci/Anbeck

NewMommyKelsey

So I thought I read somewhere in the book that you can offer the pacifier once when putting the baby down for the night. During the night when he wakes up I should allow him to cry (depending) on the day to teach self soothe. However I thought I just say someone say that they turn the music/soother back on? Can you do this?

Anbeck - when you go in at night for LO do you insert a paci or turn on the music again? I know you mentioned playing country music before and I do the same but I am not sure if this is teaching self soothing?

First night - Ethan went down at 8:00pm which was great but hubs gave him the paci a few times through the night. I feel like he shot me in the foot with this whole Ferber method and I may have to start over.....

halvorsonl00

No advice, just want to read what people are saying about the paci. She goes down fine and sleeps fine as long as the paci is there or she's in a deep sleep. But if she starts to stir, she needs the paci to fall back asleep. I almost want to get rid of it all together, but don't know if I'm that desperate, yet.

NewMommyKelsey

halvorsonl - this is me..... exactly..... I am thinking I might due away with it but I'm nervous as this is a soother for Ethan. Whatever I do I need to be consistant.

TOH btw....

bigbootyjudi

Every time I walk in, I do the same exact thing, per advice of a bunch of mamas over on Parenting, who I figure have way more experience at this ish than I do.

Every.single.time. I walk in I lean over the crib, touch the side of his face, say, "I love you. It's okay. We're right here in the next room. Goodnight, little boy. I'll see you in 15 minutes. I love you," then turn the FP seahorse on, put his pacifier in, and close the door.

He usually spits his pacifier out when he starts to cry, then he resorts to sucking on his hands, so that's self soothing to me. The seahorse turns itself off after a few minutes and half the time, he's alright when it does. The music just distracts him from crying, really.

BUTTTTTT, he only cried for 15 minutes last night!

ETA: I used to rock him to sleep to country music. But, now that we're not rocking, I just listen to it when it's his nap time. I haven't even had to rock him for naps lately...just hold him and he's been falling asleep in my arms! 

NewMommyKelsey

So this is our routine ? I lay Ethan down awake in his crib  with a full belly. I turn the soother on and put his pacifier in.  He doesn?t fight me at all. My problem is his frequent times during the night that he wakes up. So what I do is wait the time (depending on the day) and go in. Last night DH went in and kept turning on the soother machine (music) and putting his pacifier in. I feel like if I keep using the pacifier though he will never learn to self soothe and I will have to consistently get up to put a pacifier in for him to go back to sleep.  I wanted to confirm this with the doctor so I called. He just called me back and I got off the phone with the pedi and he said that I can put the pacifier in when he goes to sleep at first but during the night if I keep putting the pacifier in then he will associate it and know that I will always come in to put the pacifier in.  Doctor said with Ethan being 5 months he can go ten hours without a feeding and needs to learn to self soothe meaning no music/no paci. This seems a little tough for me though. I am going to look back through the Ferber book and see if I see anything again on paci?s/ music.

Tapthathank

NewMommyKelsey:

So this is our routine ? I lay Ethan down awake in his crib  with a full belly. I turn the soother on and put his pacifier in.  He doesn?t fight me at all. My problem is his frequent times during the night that he wakes up. So what I do is wait the time (depending on the day) and go in. Last night DH went in and kept turning on the soother machine (music) and putting his pacifier in. I feel like if I keep using the pacifier though he will never learn to self soothe and I will have to consistently get up to put a pacifier in for him to go back to sleep.  I wanted to confirm this with the doctor so I called. He just called me back and I got off the phone with the pedi and he said that I can put the pacifier in when he goes to sleep at first but during the night if I keep putting the pacifier in then he will associate it and know that I will always come in to put the pacifier in.  Doctor said with Ethan being 5 months he can go ten hours without a feeding and needs to learn to self soothe meaning no music/no paci. This seems a little tough for me though. I am going to look back through the Ferber book and see if I see anything again on paci?s/ music.

This is what our doctor told us as well - that we were training him to need the pacifier to fall back to sleep.  When we first started the sleep training using the Ferber method we would put him down with his pacifier, but if he woke up in the middle of the night we would not give it back during our checks.  We have a sound machine playing all night for him - just womb/white noise sounds.  He has definitely learned to fall back to sleep on his own and doesn't need our help or the pacifier.

bigbootyjudi

Ferber says put the pacifier back in only once per time you walk in.

kokokat

I do replace LO's Nuk at night.  He's still young and his repertoire of self-soothing skills is still relatively limited.  Luckily, he doesn't need the Nuk back most nights.  Usually he gets it back after eating, but often doesn't wake just for the Nuk.  If he does, I give it to him.  He's gone from needing to be held while sleeping, to needing to be held while going to sleep, to falling asleep on his own, without the swaddle in the magic sleepsuit in about a month.  That's a lot of progress.  I give the poor kid a break and give him the Nuk.  However, if he was up many times a night looking for it, I would be signing a different tune.