Is this rude?

BunintheOven311

So Lilly's 2nd birthday is in March.  She got a CRAP TON of toys for Christmas.  WAAAAY too much IMO.  We still have items in their packages to open later when she needs something new to occupy her.  With a new baby coming in May and a townhouse with virtually NO storage we cannot stand to have another toy in this house.  Is it rude to have on the invitation "No Toys".  We would prefer clothing items for summer or even books, puzzles are ok IMO you can never have too many books (that part would not be on the Invite just: "no toys") OR would it just be more appropriate to say "No GIFTS".  I KNOW the grandparents will be getting gifts and I've already told my mom and she is going to pitch in to help get Lilly's room ready which is great-I know we will have a hard time convincing my MIL of this...word is she's thining about a power Wheel...ARGH! 

If we do get toys from family members when we've requested not to would it be awful to respectfully say that we are going to return it?  We aren't ungrateful we just cannot handle any more toys!!! GAH! 

TriciaandSean

I think for family and close friends that would be invited to such a party it isn't rude.  Everyone still wants to buy something though, even if you say no toys.

I'd probably have your mom pass the word to family that she has way too many toys and just put on the invitation to please consider a book to grow her library and any toy would be donated or something like that.

SarahKate31

I would not say anything about your intent to return or donate toys. If you get toys and want to return or donate, then just do it - I don't see a need to tell people in advance that you may be getting rid of their gift. I'm not sure about putting something on the invite, but definitely have family spread the word. 

SnoopyLuv

This may be unpopular, but I think putting "no gifts" on a birthday party invitation is a little rude. I don't really know why- maybe because that's kind of the point of a party? At 2 they play, sure, but you could just have a play date, not a birthday party if that's your intent, you know what I mean?

Anyhow, we actually didn't get inundated with as many toys for the 2nd birthday and a few people asked if we needed certain things. It worked out OK.

BunintheOven311

SarahKate31:

I would not say anything about your intent to return or donate toys. If you get toys and want to return or donate, then just do it - I don't see a need to tell people in advance that you may be getting rid of their gift. I'm not sure about putting something on the invite, but definitely have family spread the word. 

I wasn;t going to say anything...it's just what a feel like saying! 

BunintheOven311

SnoopyLuv:

This may be unpopular, but I think putting "no gifts" on a birthday party invitation is a little rude. I don't really know why- maybe because that's kind of the point of a party? At 2 they play, sure, but you could just have a play date, not a birthday party if that's your intent, you know what I mean?

Anyhow, we actually didn't get inundated with as many toys for the 2nd birthday and a few people asked if we needed certain things. It worked out OK.

It's really only family and I know we don't have a party for the gifts-it's an excuse to get together and to have fun and celebrate another year.  The gifts can be nice certainly but we don't really invite a lot of 'friends' other than our friends who also happen to have children so having a play date wouldn't really fit I guess. 

BunintheOven311

SarahKate31:

I would not say anything about your intent to return or donate toys. If you get toys and want to return or donate, then just do it - I don't see a need to tell people in advance that you may be getting rid of their gift. I'm not sure about putting something on the invite, but definitely have family spread the word. 

Scratch what I just said above!  I realize I did say I would say that-I don't think in reality I would though!   

madladybride

We are having DD's 2nd bday party next Sunday with just family (the few friends with kids that we did invite cannot attend, plus they are ok with the no presents theme). We also said "no presents", or rather, "Your presence is our present." We still have stuff left over from XMAS that DD was too overwhelmed to open. (My mom gave me $ to buy presents for DD, so I did, then she bought MORE presents for DD. My mom was like "wow, she has a lot to open.") The few DD didn't open, we are going to give them to her for her bday. (At this age she won't know/care/or mind.)

I realize that MIL and SFIL will get DD whatever they want. We also got her 1 thing. If it's something I don't like, it gets returned or donated  and I don't bother telling anyone - I just do it.

 

weezie825

It sounds like a small group of close family and friends, so I think it is okay.   I wouldn't put it on the invitation, but I would go ahead and spread the word that you'd prefer books or clothes.  My parents and in-laws usually ask me what the kids need before they buy any gifts.  They are over often enough to know that we have toys spiling out of the closets.

jcsntms06

At A's last party I wanted to add no gifts but didn't. I just told family that she didn't need any gifts and most of them gave $ for college. Friends that were invited asked before hand about what A needed. One friend even donated money in her name.

I still have gifts from last Christmas we haven't opened yet. I'm thinking of donating those unopened toys to TOYS for TOTS next Christmas. 

tmm140

I don't think it's rude, but like a PP said, that is kind of the idea of a party, to be recognized and receive gifts. Maybe if she gets a load of toys, you could return them and get things like puzzles, books, or clothes?  Especially if it's just close family and friends, you could always ask where they bought the item and return it.  They really won't know right?  OR  donating them would be really nice as well to Toys for Tots.  We also have the same problem as you, small townhouse, overflow of toys (not baby #2 though) and I have been bagging up the toys that doesn't really interest DS and luckily storing them in the spare bathroom in the basement that doesn't get used.  Then in the spring I try and sell them to make money to put in a savings account for DS.

cbaummer2be

We ask people to donate books to a homeless preschool in Baltimore in lieu of gifts for our twins. I think if you don't want toys then you might want to donate to a worthy cause or say no presents. If it's all family then you can leave it blank and just let people know by word of mouth what you want.

catchtanya

Im new to this whole "kid" thing, but I think it would be ok to put something on the invitation like "in lieu of gifts please donate to this charity" or "Let's Build Lily's Library! In Lieu of gifts please bring your favorite picture book" Also in regards to the Power wheel (I?m with you I'd have no place to store such an item) I would tell MIL that Lily would really love it, but that you have limited space. Would she consider buying the item for use when lily is visiting her home? Then she can figure out how to store it. My MIL keeps trying to pawn off items from my husband?s childhood for our nursery and like you I just don?t have space- this "oh why don?t you leave it at your house for baby to use while he is there" has totally worked. Hope it does for you also!

 

Edit- that should stay in lieu of toys- not gifts. Sorry 

JennigoesUSA

Not rude at all. Most people have kids as well and totally understand. You could even suggest that you are starting a savings account for her and they could make a contribution instead of buying a toy

jnealet

For D2's 1st birthday we asked people to donate to their favorite charity and had a little poem about it.  DH was doing Movember at the time, so if they didn't have a favotire charity, then we suggested that one.  She still got a few toys but nothing overwhelming.

caramadeleine

We have been invited to parties that the invitation says " your presence is presents enough" or something like that.  I don't think it was rude. 

mrsbecky07

I don't think " no presents" is rude, and I think the book idea is cute like a pp mentioned. Anything else I think would be rude - saying you prefer puzzles, or whatever.  If someone asks "what does she want/need" then clearly I think saying "we would love X" is fine, but I would not put anything beyond 'no presents' or the like on the invitation.