What's your shared schedule?

new+tothis

BD and I live about 40 minutes away from each other. We're currently going back to court for custody. My DS is almost 3 but if we're going through all the trouble of court (which likely won't be resolved for 6-9+ months) I'd like to figure out a schedule that will work after he starts school. Given the distance I'm thinking EOWE plus one mid-week overnight for BD. I know BD won't be happy with that so I'm trying to figure out other potential schedules to ask for.

bebe11

Maybe add in extra time during the summer for BD to even things out.  All the mid week driving would be hard on the child when they are in school.

My ex and I do EOW starts Friday after school and he drops her off at school on Monday mornings, then every Wed he picks her up and returns her to school on Thursday morning.  We;ve been doing this for over 6 years now.

Amanda88

Is there a way for you to find out what the standard possession for your state is to help you as a general guideline? We have a standard possession order (SPO) with certain modifications written in that supersede certain parts of the SPO. 

jennipalmer

I live with in 10 miles  of my ex we have EOW and I have Mondays and Thursday because he is bartender and has Tuesday and Wednesday off. During summer break we are doing 2 weeks on 2weeks off. We do standard holiday schedule for our court district. We still argue a bit but new custody order has only been in effect for about a month and my lawyer crushed him in court

Sunday924

We have SS EOW Friday through Wednesday. Pretty much they took the one night a week the standard order gave and pushed it all together. We split holidays and have him 30 days during the summer. We live 20 minutes from each other.

lb1212

CO says we have SD Friday afternoons - Sunday evenings and one afternoon through dinner/bedtime. We "lost" the afternoons when BM moved out of town. When BM moved back, DH was working nights, so we didn't ask for the afternoon. With DH's job promotion switched him from nights to days, so we're going to try to pick her up from school on Wednesdays and keep her through dinner.

WWMS

My son is 2 1/2 and his father also lives about 40 min away.

He goes to his father's every other weekend and Wednesdays for 3 1/2 hours. We alternate most holidays and his father get 1 week vacation in the summer. This was just done in December with hopes it lasts while in school.

socloudy99

We are 30 minutes away and have EOWeekend. The Wednesday visit is in the CO but we abandon that long ago. It was too hard on the kids. It became rush to our house, hurry and do your homework while we finish dinner, scarf down dinner, and get in the car. There was no visiting going on. For the last several years with the kids in school sports we still see them multiple times a week attending there events. This week (BMs weekend) we see them Tues and Thurs for basketball cheer and Sun for a competition. I think that is decent for a week he should only get 4 hours on Wed. In the summer we switch to EOWeek. It works for us.

jenjen930

We live about half an hour away, and we have EOWE.  The IN guidelines say we can have her one day during the week, but that just doesn't work for us.  SD has too much homework lately (and isn't doing well in school to begin with) to afford the time for all that driving.  My DH works until 5 or so anyway, and has to be in bed early to get up at like 3 or 4 in the morning.  So it wouldn't work for anyone. 

To make up for it, we take SD extra weekends and during all of her breaks, and 3 weeks over the summer.

new+tothis

Thanks for all the responses. I think I'm going to ask for EOWE plus one mid-week visit. I'll also offer to split time more in the summer and see how it goes.

FutureMrsWittig

We live about 40 minutes from BM also.  We have EOW (weekends start Friday after school or at 3pm if there is no school and go until Monday morning 8 am) and BM gets SD Monday nights.  Having Monday (rather than Wed night) visitation kind of increases the weekend and it cuts out an exchange in the middle of the week, which is nice for everyone.

During the summer BM gets SD Sunday morning at 9am and keeps her until 9am Wednesday morning.  We keep SD from Wed until Sun morning.  Gives BM a little more time in the summer.

We do alternating years for holidays.