Benefits of being a single parent

Runaway22

I am still pregnant with my first, so I don't truly know how difficult single parenting can be yet... but I have been pondering some benefits to being a single parent, based on comments I've read by non-single parents. 

You have the absolute last say when LO is with you in...

-Sleeping arrangements

-Diapering options: CDs or disposables (at home, anyway!) 

-Feeding choices: BF or FF / when to ween / when to begin solids

-Parenting styles and techniques

-Style of apparel, toys and various other baby accessories

Personally, I'd love a partner in raising my LO, and wouldn't mind compromising on some of these things to have that extra help and support. But since I'm in my current situation, I figured I'd see all of the above as liberties that I get to enjoy, because I am a single parent  I can cloth diaper, bed share, and breast feed without anyone trying to tell me otherwise! 

Feel free to add your own  

mel1987

Name Choice!

sanderson109

Setting your own routines! :

bripratt2

Good for you! Ya in the beginning it sucks and to this day what bd did to me hurts but in some ways it was so much better doing things by myself. Had bd been in the picture I wouldn't have gotten the health care I wanted the name I wanted and probably not the birth I wanted. I also provably would have been stuck with a baby shower that was more of a beer pong tournament...instead of him bullying me and pushing me to choose a crappy insurance plan I chose the best that allowed me to stay with drs if been with since I was born and actually get to choose my drs rather than just be a number on someones clip board. I also was able to birth at the hospital that was the most natural birth friendly instead of the nightmare hospital his idea of a health insurance plan offered. I got to choose my daughters name without any arguments and her last name too that k God. I also got to go to the best and most empowering Lamaze class with my mom...bd never would have supported me in my natural birth. Like u said it was hard but in some ways its so much easier.

pregokat

My friends and I went through this when I realized I was going to be a single mother... 

Your child wont have to go through some gruesome breakup/divorce with you..

Don't have to fight about names 

Don't have to worry about any big decisions like vaccinating, circumcision, schooling options, etc

(if the father isn't involved at all... ) Don't have to share your child with anyone or another family

there were more but not coming to mind right now 

Runaway22

mel1987:

Name Choice!

I thought of this after posting it! No arguments over that one, either   

Runaway22

pregokat:

My friends and I went through this when I realized I was going to be a single mother... 

Your child wont have to go through some gruesome breakup/divorce with you..

Don't have to fight about names 

Don't have to worry about any big decisions like vaccinating, circumcision, schooling options, etc

(if the father isn't involved at all... ) Don't have to share your child with anyone or another family

there were more but not coming to mind right now 

Of course, medical decisions. That's a good one. Also, the not sharing thing... except for daycare  

sol4J

Congratulations on your sweet blessing!  It's completely normal that you should desire to find a man to share your life with and help you raising your LO.  Just take this opportunity to learn who you are and what you really want in life.   I am sure that everything will work out in its own time.  Love is a choice and you have made the courageous decision to carry through with your pregnancy despite the challenges you faced.  Hang in there; it will get better.  Let us know how things are going, okay?

Monkeybird84

mel1987:

Name Choice!

I got some argument about name choice, even a couple of attempts at bullying and bargaining over the name. But I think that was mostly because I told him long before I was even pregnant that he could name our first boy, and I guess he thought that still stood even after I left him when I was 18 weeks pregnant because he refused to step up and help out or change his lifestyle. In the long run he didn't get his way because I knew he wasn't going to be a reliable presence.

themichele

Biggest, biggest advantage: you need only worry about your well-being and the well-being of your child.

BD got a drug problem? Doesn't have to be your problem. BD can't manage his own money? That's his own problem, not yours. BD got the body of a man but the mind and/or emotional maturity of a 16-year-old boy? That can stay his own mother's problem (or joy, if that's the way their relationship works)-- doesn't need to be yours.

That freedom to focus all your energy on you & your kid is a powerful thing-- enjoy it!

ChristyPells

Just wanted to say thank you for this post! 33 weeks going through a very unexpected divorce this post helped me tremendously breathe a sigh of relief that there are positives to this craptastic situation even if i didn't think of one yet