TTC and tired of everyone asking — The Bump
TTC after 35

TTC and tired of everyone asking

Just married in October, Just turned 35 in December.  I'm also overweight, so that's not helping either.

Stopped taking BCP in August and we've TTC ever since.  We've been taking a "it will happen when it happens" approach for the first few months and were still disappointed each month when AF arrived.

Even before my wedding, my family and friend were asking when we were having children.  Now, I feel like every time I see them the first question is "Are you pregnant?"  It's frustrating to have to answer no, or not yet, etc.

We started using OPK this month... with no luck, never detected a LH surge.  I was testing in the morning when I woke up and nothing.  Never had the "as dark or darker" test line.

AF is due on Jan 5th or 6th (usually a 28-29 day cycle), but I think I'm already having some cramping, so I'm not too hopeful for this month.

Looking for suggestions on how to deal when people ask and well as when is the right time to see OB/GYN or RE for a consult?


Me 35, H 34 TTC#1 since August 2012.
Picture 003

My Ovulation Chart

Re: TTC and tired of everyone asking

  • I can relate completely! I am the oldest girl in my family and still no kids at 35. I started OPK on day 5 of my cycle and testing until I got a positive and would usually test once more after the positive to see how long it lasted. I did morning only the fisrt couple months but then switched to morning and night and usually got the positive on the evening test. I was testing at 10 am and 7 pm. I also learned I was ovulating 3-4 days earlier than I originally though.

    As for how to respond to the question, just politely let them know you will share the news when there is news to share.

    I would go to your OB and see what he/she says. Mine sent me for my fertility workup right away!

    Good luck!

    Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
    Married 10/8/2011
    Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.

    DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis.
    Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.

    IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!

    12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!

    5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!

    EDD: October, 23, 2013


  • I have learned NEVER to ask anyone when they are having a baby. You just never know and it's unfortuante that most people can't keep their mouths quiet.

     It is never to early to go see your ob. Explain what is going on and request a bloodwork up to make sure things are ok. I was 30 when we started trying and after a few months figured something was up. I had blood tests run as a routine with my internist and my hormone levels were out of wack. I sent the results to my OB who referred me to a RE . Had I not been trying then they said the levels would not have worried them but since we were it was worth checking out. In the beginning I always felt like I wasted time just trying month after month when there was an underlying issue.


  • Try using the opk twice a day and bbt is really helpful because it will let you know when you ovulated (past tense) it won't tell you that you are about too, thats for the opk! The current thinking is 6 months before RE, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to OB!!

    As for people asking, I would reply gently but firmly, "when and if there is news we will let you know. Until then please do add to any stress but constantly asking" or something to that effect. for me, we flat out said we weren't having children to several key people, so the conversations never happened for me - and about 6 people know that we are ttc.

    My Ovulation Chart

    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

    SURPISE BFP 4/2/2015!!!!!!!!!!

    Miscarriage 4/23/15


  • I got asked if I was nesting today (at work, when I threw two magazines in the recycling bin) and my MIL sent us an email over Xmas to "get busy making those babies."  None of them knew about our m/c.  I don't think anyone means to be hurtful, but they are.  I just look at them and smile and try to ignore them (but yes, it eats at me...looking into yoga!)  If you have no luck after one year of trying, I would check out an RE, but if you have the means, there's no wrong in going early!  GL to you!!

    me:40; DH:41; 4/30/12 1st visit with RE; 6/30/12 IUI #1 BFN; 7/19/12 IUI cancelled (overmedicated); 8/2/12 IUI cancelled (cyst); 9/1/12 IUI #2 BFP! EDD 5/28/13; 10/9/12 1st U/S at 7w3d--missed m/c (trisomy 16) D&C 10/19/12; karyotyping results normal!; 1/31/13 IUI #3 BFP! EDD 10/25/13 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • You are young enough that it might be worth spending a few more months trying on your own, but at the very least I would talk to your physician so he/she can start getting you prepared for the next step. If I were you, knowing what I know now, I would get an appt with an RE ASAP. But that's only because for me, unfortunately I had a physician who kept telling me to keep trying and it would happen. I feel so stupid and naive now that I have wasted three years trying and now it's almost too late for me to conceive. It saddens me constantly that I didn't get more support from my GP, who previously I have loved and trusted. Good luck to you!

    My BLOG: -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1
    : 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:
    NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN

    IVF #4: (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

  • You sound exactly like me. We got married in August and I turned 35 in December. I stopped Birth Control Pills in September and we have been trying with no success. I am Temping and using OPK with no surges so far :( I am CD19 with no surge and my temps are all over the place. As low as 97.3 and as high as 97.9, sometimes alternating those temps. I go back to the OB/GYN next Friday for a full work-up, and if there is nothing happening by March I start Clomid. I just wish it would happen easily for me (both of my sisters had no issues getting pregnant, and my sister got pregnant with her 3rd at 35). 
  • Thanks for the advice all.  It's been frustrating and upsetting to have people asking and have no news to share.  It makes me feel worse each time AF shows up. 

    I decided to make an OB/GYN appointment for advice and possible work up.  Then we'll take it from there. 

    Waiting to see what happens with AF - due this weekend.  Still having cramps.  

    Planning to chart religiously this month (BBT and OPK) and use  Have grabbed some good advice from this site.

    Me 35, H 34 TTC#1 since August 2012.
    Picture 003

    My Ovulation Chart
  • Welcome to the board and good luck.
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