In such a really, REALLY bad mood! - DH vent
101Mims
member
Ugh! I hate it - all - and everyone and everything right now.
As some of you might remember my sister is staying with us and life with her is somewhat trying at the best of times.
She is sposed to be helping out looking after DS while we are in hopspital and so - cz we don?t communicate very well with each other and always end up in a huff - I asked DH is he cld suggest to her my plan on stepping up and getting involved in his day to day care. As sister hasnt bothered so far and DH as usual just doesnt notice.
I went to DH as an ally, so we cld work together on this, as I thought it best for all of us if he presented my plan to my sister as I know she would respond better to him. I was trying to prevent any bad feelings and possible arguments.
But after yesterday I now feel we are at total loggerheads and superfluous to requirements.I had to ask DH if they had even discussed my plan, and what
they had agreed on. Tis like drawing blood from a stone and I was more than a bit
put out about what they had agreed upon.
Seems Dh has agreed with my sister that she was to shadow everything he does on two days of the week. and then as she grows in confidence she can start to do things by herself.
umm ok - so I asked where I fit in as I take care of Ds 80% of the time. I know all his cues most importantly, I prepare and give him all his food,I?m the only one who has a clue about his daily routine as DH is at work all day, I?m the one how knows how to give him meds and when to name just a few things
but it seems I don?t figure in their plans at all. Because, and here comes the wonderful character assasination given to me by my DH - I?m a belligerent, bad tempered b*tch, who when mixes with her sister is like oil on water. and anything DH isnt sure off, he will ask me and then pass that along to my sister.
YEY!!
So yup - feel like total sh*t, and no longer a part of their playing happy families.So last night I went to bed at 7pm by myself and left them to it. Dh didnt show up till about 2am, which is normal for him, and has carried on as normal today.
And I?m fuming.
Re: In such a really, REALLY bad mood! - DH vent
ahh ok - some context.
Sister was ...volunteered to live with us by my aunt, who was the one who initially offered to give her a place to stay when my sister had nowhere to go when splitting from her alcoholic boyfriend.
Aunt cld not cope and suggested she come live with us, thinking that helping me look after DS - (we live overseas away from family and the friends I did make here, have left the island and returned to their families to live permanently) - would be beneficial to her as she is medically depressed and suffers anxiety and insomnia.
So - she has been with us since September. She doesnt work. doesnt contribute financially and spends most of her time in her room on the computer. She is older than me by two years if that matters and has no children of her own and no experience of them either.
As we have no family or friends here who can watch DS while I am in hospital - a minimum of 5 days with RCSas thats the way it was last time - my sister will be taking care of him. And so far - since september she has shown next to no interest in him at all.
She plays with him and his toys on the floor occasionally, and thats about it. She can barely look after herself the state she is in, so I really need her to practice with DS before Delilah arrives.
Thank you to Aunt Whoever! You are a very nice person to put up with that seven months pregnant. I don't think I'm that nice. Tell her to get up off her butt and start helping or move out!
Good luck. I would go to bed at 7 and ignore them both too. 
In all honestly, do you really WANT to leave your LO with her while you are in the hospital? Is there any other alternative? She sounds like she has no ambition or interest other than her own well being. She doesn't have the emotional capability to look after herself and you want to leave your kid with her? I get that she is your sister, but if you have to fight with her just to learn how to look after her nephew, I see warning lights flashing.
I also think it is time to give her an eviction notice. She will never stand on her own two feet as long as she is being enabled. She sounds ungrateful and spoiled...
Sorry, but people who cannot contribute to their family and are happy to take one sided hand outs really get my goat.
Well because of my trepidation I have asked my aunt to fly over and help her out just for the time we are in hospital. So she won?t ever be left totally alone with him. But as he knows her, and does not know my aunt, it will be my sister taking care of him with my aunt acting as another pair of eyes and hands when needed.
As to giving my sister an eviction notice? She will prolly be heading back to her ex - who it seems is trying to tackle his addicitions- some time in March.
I can?t turn her away as Ive been in that positon myself, with no home and nowhere to go, when I was in my late teens and I got turned down by everyone I asked and it nearly broke me.
and I?m sure we are enabling her irresponsible behaviour. But - I know full well that no one will change their ways unless they themselves want to. I?m not going to even try, or waste what little energy I have, to help her sort herself out. She?s nearly 40 years old for goodness sake.
yeah - it?s not ideal, but nothing ever really is tho is it? So we just have to make the best of what we have.
Happy New Year everyone! here?s to all the Fab Feb 2013 ladies and their babies