super annoyed (not PgAL related) — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

super annoyed (not PgAL related)

So for a little background, DH and I own a rental property.  It's not attached to our house, but is on the same property (we share a driveway).  Our tenant is young and naive, but overall a decent tenant.  She pays the rent on time most months and is relatively quiet.  I get annoyed with her because she is incapable of doing anything for herself and asks for our help with a lot of non-landlord responsibilities.  For example, she asked us to help her change a light bulb this summer because she had never done it before.  My view point is that I've been living on my own since I was 18 and no on ever helped me with these things.  That's how I learned to be independent.  If it were up to be it would be a matter of tough love, but DH insists that to keep a good tenant we have to help her with these things.  I disagree, but to each their own.

So today, DH texts me that the boiler at her house has apparently stopped working.  No problem.  We'll call the heating guy and get it fixed today.  He then tells me that I need to clean the bathroom because he invited her here to take her shower and that she would be here in 10-15 minutes!  I was appalled.  First, I feel like inviting her in that way crosses a MAJOR line in our landlord-tenant relationship (to be clear, we do not have a social relationship with her, business only).  Second, I don't feel that I should have to clean the bathroom for her when I feel like I'm going to barf at any moment.  And third, he DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME FIRST!  

Ok, ladies... am I being irrational or am I right to be annoyed with DH on this one.  He says that he didn't think I would have a problem helping someone out, but I feel like it wasn't entirely his call to make.  She has family about 15 minutes away, btw.  I don't know why she couldn't shower there.  Maybe I'm just a crazy pregnant lady...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Re: super annoyed (not PgAL related)

  • She didn't know how to change a lightbulb??  And admitted that??? Wow...

    That reminds me of when I did an alternative spring break trip and we were working with a battered women's shelter.  They had a guy who was a volunteer for a year through a religious volunteer program.  He asked us to figure out why a hallway light didn't work.   It just needed new light bulbs. Hello!!!!

    I think showering in your landlords place is just plain weird.  The first time the shower broke in my first apartment, and showered at friends or at the gym at school til it was fixed.   My neighbors offered me their shower, but I just thought that was weird.  The second time it broke, there was an empty apartment that I was able to use!

     

    TTC since Feb 2012. Me: 39, DH: 37
    BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
    Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
    BFP #2 11/18/12  EDD 7/27/13
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  • I'd be annoyed, too. It does seem like crossing a line and a bit easy for him to say that you "wouldn't mind helping out" considering he's not nauseated and now having to clean the bathroom in 10-15 minutes.
    BFP#1 11/25/11 EDD 08/09/12 MMC 01/30/12 D&C 02/01/12
    BFP#2 09/11/12 beta1=72 @13dpo beta2=160 @14dpo beta3=over 6000 @24dpo U/S @7w2dd hb=146bpm U/S @8w5d hb=159bpm U/S @12w hb=164bpm
    EDD 05/20/13
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  • I agree it's a little weird for your DH to offer your shower, but I can totally see my DH doing the same without thinking it was weird. Guys just think differently sometimes. That said, now that the invitation is out there it would probably be weirder to rescind it.

    However, I would NOT clean my bathroom just for her. Sure, pick up any bras that are air drying or dirty laundry on the floor, and put out a fresh towel for her, but other than that, she is coming into YOUR house last-minute and she should not expect a spa experience.

    BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

    BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

    BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

    BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

    Just keep swimming.
  • Thanks, ladies. Dh was so sure that it was the right thing to do I was starting to think I was overreacting, but it IS weird, right? Ugh. I made sure she knew this was just a one time thing. I will never understand why men think the way they do.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • I would feel super weird. We had plumping issues with our rental two years ago and I would never want to shower at my landlord's house...that would be crossing the line to me. Now the lightbulb thing?!?!?!? I'm just speechless! 
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    EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Yeah, I find this really weird but my DH and I often disagree about what's normal when it comes to other people and boundaries in relationships. I think it's a man thing and cultural thing.


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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