Am I screwing my kid up?

mandiek72512

DH's grandmother passed away and her visitation was yesterday. I left LO with my neighbor/friend. Well, I was gone about 2 hours and he was crying... like alligator tears kind of cry. I grab him, sit on the couch and he goes right to sleep. At first I was thinking it was just he was tired. Then I figured it'd just been a couple of weeks since he'd been over there. But now I am beginning to worry that it's because I stay home with him. Is he just not getting the interaction he needs? Should I put him in my moms daycare a couple of days of week for a few hours just to get him used to other people? I don't know what else to do or think. I just feel like I'm screwing him up by him staying home with me so much. I don't want it to end up to the point where I can't leave him with anyone, but my mom at my house, without feeling guilty that I know he's upset. Any advice? Am I overreacting?

temporalrobe

separation anxiety starts around 6months, so it could just be the age. but meeting others wouldnt hurt you or him either.

Pandril19

I wouldn't worry too much about any single incident.  So if it's just about yesterday, stop worrying.

But in general... I think babies AND moms get a lot of benefit from a little space every now an then. Some sort of mother's morning out program would be great for socialization/breathing space.

mandiek72512

So it wouldn't make me a bad mother to put him in daycare for just maybe afternoon hours 2 days a week.. eventhough I don't work? Or should I just start off trying to leave him with just other people? That's the 1st time it's happened.. but it's also the 1st time I've left him with anyone in a long time.. besides my mom who comes to my house.

Pandril19

Of course it doesn't make you a bad mother.

Either option would work. Being around other kids though would probably be better for him as he gets older.  After all, learning to share sort of requires other people.  If you know another mom you could take turns watching either others kids as a play date type thing.

temporalrobe

putting a kid in daycare doesn't make anyone a bad mother. fwiw.

 

mandiek72512

temporalrobe:

putting a kid in daycare doesn't make anyone a bad mother. fwiw.

 

I don't think putting a kid in daycare is wrong either. My mom runs one and I worked there for 5 years. But being that I don't work.. that's where I'm wondering if it makes me kind of seem crazy..

megs52881

temporalrobe:

putting a kid in daycare doesn't make anyone a bad mother. fwiw.

 

Definitely not!  It would be good for you and him.   

nesenotes

Pandril19:

Of course it doesn't make you a bad mother.
Either option would work. Being around other kids though would probably be better for him as he gets older.nbsp; After all, learning to share sort of requires other people.nbsp; If you know another mom you could take turns watching either others kids as a play date type thing.

If I had this opportunity I would do it.

Pandril19

mandiek72512:

But being that I don't work.. that's where I'm wondering if it makes me kind of seem crazy..

Not for a half-day or two a week. That's just useful for both of you.  If you put him in full time I'd give you the side-eye.   That make sense?

britbratjf

I SAH too but try and make sure to have Dagny interact with others as much as possible and try and leave her with babysitters once every couple weeks. It's good for them to get used to other caretakers. If I could afford to put her in daycare a couple days a week I would be all over it. I'm hoping to start her in a moms day out program next fall.

mandiek72512

britbratjf:

I SAH too but try and make sure to have Dagny interact with others as much as possible and try and leave her with babysitters once every couple weeks. It's good for them to get used to other caretakers. If I could afford to put her in daycare a couple days a week I would be all over it. I'm hoping to start her in a moms day out program next fall.

I wish we had a moms day out program around here. I would do it! The only way I can afford the daycare is the discount I get from my mom. Otherwise, this wouldn't be an option for us either. 

buggal28

He will peobably cry anyway, like someone said, this sep. Anxiety is a phase they go through no matter what quality of mother you are. You'll just have to find another way to screw him up smiley face