Late Term and Child Loss

bah humbug!!!...(TTC/pregnancy mentioned)

Some of you may remember me. I used to post a lot but took a break from the bump in general when we talked about actively try after losing our first angel. Well I sure all of you are the same as me today hating or dreading the holidays. I was ok for the most part until I started thinking how this should be my baby's first Christmas or the fact I should still be pregnant still. Unfortunately I am in the process of still recoverying from yet another d&c. Really not in the Christmas spirit this year more like bah humbug. I know we always say holidays are the worst but I think this one hit me the hardest and just feel numb. Sorry to just drop in like this but knew you all would understand! 

To all of you I hope you can find strength to get through the holidays! Also to the new loss moms I am so sorry for your losses!  

BFP#1 9/7/11 EDD 7/23/11 mc @21 weeks caused severe bladder obstruction on 3/14/12
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
BFP #2 9/9/12 EDD 7/19/13 started to mc @ 8w1d on 12/7/12 ended up with d&c 12/18/12, stopped developing @5w5ds

Unexplained IF
BFP#3 3/3/14 After 1st iui and clomid cycle
beta 1: 137 beta 2: 268
Beta 3:1248
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

****Hoping for a rainbow baby!!!****
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Re: bah humbug!!!...(TTC/pregnancy mentioned)

  • I hear ya! I was just laying in bed getting so angry that this should be Bradley's first Christmas and how different my last 3 months should have been.

    I too feel completely numb. I also have somewhat been able to convince myself it's not Christmas for me, just other people. I just really want life to fast forward to my rainbow baby so I can have a baby at home and Bradley has someone to watch over. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • You are not alone! I thought I was doing good until I went to A.C. Moore today to buy a new silk flower bouquet to bring to Sophia's grave tomorrow morning when we go and pretty much bawled the whole time I was in the store.  I got plenty of weird looks.  I just want to fast forward to 2013 and hope it is a better year for all of us
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Bah humbug is right!
    I never thought the most joyful times of year would end up being one of the saddest for us.
    We are pretty much skipping all holiday events this year; didn't put our tree up, didn't send out cards, didn't buy any gifts. Last year I was thinking that we would finally be able to send out cute photo cards with pictures of our little girl on them. I should have been buying baby toys to put under the tree, instead I am avoiding all things Christmas while I am also recovering from another dc.

    Lots and lots of hugs to all of you.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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