Trying not to cry

Amethyst26

It's so sad that friends, co workers, and even strangers are happier about my pregnancy than my own family. My family used to be very close, but over the past couple years things have changed. My gma I don't speak and my cousin, aunt and I barely speak. However, this baby is going to be my gma's first greatgrandchild given the fact that we don't speak because of some crap she pulled, I would think she would be excited. She doesn't even acknowledge that I'm pregnant. When my mom speaks to her about the baby, she changes the subject and pretends like she didn't say anything at all. When she did see me she asked DH about his family, his daughter everyone else but never asked me how Me baby were doing.

When I texted my family to tell them excitedly that we were having a boy, none of them responded. I am so hurt. My grandmother has bought us Christmas gifts expects us to come there, but I can't take the drama right now. Id rather she return them.

Around the holidays, I wish I was merrier, but all I want to do is cry.

Sorry for the long post. I can't really talk to many others about this DH isn't home right now.

AMJ6511

This makes me so sad to read. It's hard when people we are supposed to be close to don't want to participate in our good news. Are you planning on spending Christmas with any of them? Maybe you should take it easy. I'm sorry no one responded to your text message about the baby's sex! That's sad. Hugs to you! 

tondraluv

I'm so sorry your going through this. I'm having major problems with my mom and sister and my mom text me the other day talking about not wanting to come to the baby shower. All you can do is try not to let it stress you out and realize you can't control ppls feelings or actions. They are the ones missing out.

NativeFloridian

It is sad, but try not to dwell on it.  You can't change how they feel, and, as hard as it may be sometimes, they really don't deserve to have the power to bring you down if they're going to be so distant.  You should be able to enjoy your pregnancy in spite of them.

Hope you're on the up and up soon.

arteri

I am in the same situation (in a way).  My sister pulled some serious crap spreading rumors about me that got to mutual friends in Nov. '11.  I told her that she needed to apologize (take responsibility) and get mental help.  Still, to this day - it hasn't happened.  My parents are starting to pressure me to let it go and begin a relationship with her again.  I wouldn't have ever thought that I would be going through this without my sister.  It's really sad.

mrshall10210

Your post makes me sad too.  I feel like sometimes there are people in your life who are just toxic, and when those people are family, it's really unfortunate.  No one wants to be treated that way by anyone, and yet it's hard to cut a person out of your life when they are "supposed" to be loving, supportive people. 

I haven't seen my dad in four years, and prior to that one occasion, hadn't seen him in, I can't even remember how long.  He has my phone number and address, and his mom still talks to my mom, but he hasn't called or written since he found out I was pregnant from his mom. He doesn't send cards or acknowledge birthdays or holidays. I haven't seen his mom (my "grandma") in years, either.  She somewhat tries to keep in touch on Facebook, but it's mostly just her comments on any pregnancy-related post about how the baby is going to look just like HER family.   Get real, lady.  There's more of a back story that I won't get into about either of them, but they've both done some pretty crappy things that I really can't get past. 

I hate that my children will never have a relationship with some of their family, but there's a reason why they aren't in my life anymore, and I refuse to allow my children to be treated that way too.  I don't know how serious the issues are between you and your family members, but my advice would be to really try to work through it and fix them, if you can. But if they are just the kind of people who are going to be awful to you no matter what, then maybe you should limit their involvement in your life, so you can focus on being happy and enjoying the excitement of your pregnancy and starting your own family.  Don't let them make you feel so hurt!

I hope you can cheer up and have a happier holiday. 

Amethyst26

Thanks everyone. Today is a better day in that I'm not feeling as sad, but the situation still saddens me. My husband wants me to go to my grandmothers house today and try to talk it through one last time, but I'm not convinced. When she called me a thief and accused me of stealing from her of course I didn't, I extended the olive branch first. When she screwed me out of my house hence us living in an apartment, I gave her a million different ways to make it right she literally laughed in my face, and I'm always sending cards on holidays birthdays and she doesn't do any of the above. I don't know how many more times I can turn the other cheek. I'm sick with the flu and am extra hormonal, I can't guarantee that this talk would go well right now. I do hate that my son, the first boy born on my mother's side of the family in more than 20 years, won't know his great grand, but I can't take much more of her hatefulness.

Thank you all for your concern. Just having someone to "talk" to who understands sympathizes makes me feel better.

Bumpies unite :

Amethyst26

tondraluv:

I'm so sorry your going through this. I'm having major problems with my mom and sister and my mom text me the other day talking about not wanting to come to the baby shower. All you can do is try not to let it stress you out and realize you can't control ppls feelings or actions. They are the ones missing out.

Sorry that you're dealing with all the drama, too. Hope they change their minds decide to come to your shower, but if they don't... You're absolutely right, it's their loss!

Amethyst26

arteri:

I am in the same situation in a way.nbsp; My sister pulled some serious crap spreading rumors about me that got to mutual friends in Nov. '11.nbsp; I told her that she needed to apologize take responsibility and get mental help.nbsp; Still, to this day it hasn't happened.nbsp; My parents are starting to pressure me to let it go and begin a relationship with her again.nbsp; I wouldn't have ever thought that I would be going through this without my sister.nbsp; It's really sad.

So sorry! I don't have a sister, but I can imagine how hurtful that must be for you... Hope she comes around!

sbonnie

I am so so sorry you have to go through this. I wish you a very very happy holidays and I truly hope that your family can get their acts together and show that little baby (and you and your H) the excitement you all deserve!