Holiday with the In-laws VENT TL/DR

TristansMom01

This will be long so sorry.  Also, I invite you all to share your tales of horrible in laws as well.  This always makes me feel better to hear others suffer as I do.

So luckily MIL lives in another state.  This is a good thing because I may actually go insane if she lived closer.  My pregnancy with DS started out with her exclaiming "Wow, your thighs have really blown up, it's like they have a mind of their own!" the first time she'd seen me after the news.  That.was.awesome.  The following months ensued with equal amounts of crazy, including but not limited to receiving 18, count it 18 onsie/bootie/hat combos that were the exact same size and print, also 9 Halloween costumes.  She's a bit of a hoarder.

Well I went to visit her last Wednesday and I was exhausted.  There has been some drama with DH's sister writing nasty things about me and DH...and DS actually on her Twitter.  This is dumb because DH follows her.  I invited MIL to Christmas Eve and she in turn invited herself to stay through Christmas and then invited DH's sister and her bf as well.  I was a bit upset because I really don't want to have someone stay in my house who clearly has such a low opinion of me.  After a good visit MIL and I got in an argument because she wanted me to hang a painting DH's sister painted for us (that is hideous) to make her feel good about artistic ability.  The girl is 22.  She is a mean and nasty person.  I ended up breaking down after trying to hold my tongue and telling MIL that it wasn't going to happen because I had a hard time going out of my way for someone who has been so rude about my family.  She said that DH's sister simply thinks that DH should have finished his Masters degree before having a family and I went off.  First off, he has 2 degrees already and is working on his Masters now.  I told her that WE didn't invite the sister and her bf and didn't want them coming.  I left as soon as possible. 

Fast forward a week.  We told my family (which is awesome) that we were expecting first and then called MIL.   She of course said, "Oh, I knew when TristansMom came to visit that she was pregnant, I just didn't say anything because I figured she didn't want me to know.  I've gotten really good at holding my tongue!"  Ok, I know she is going to bring this up when she is here and I also know I won't be able to hold back a smart comment like, "Wow MIL, that's impressive considering even I didn't know I was pregnant!  You're so intuitive that you know my body better than I do!"  I'm also just dreading having to fight with her about everything.  She wants to control everything and uh, that just simply doesn't fly with us.  Thankfully DH backs me up.  We already decided this is the first, and last Christmas she is invited to.

 If you made it this far, congrats.  This was crazy long and filled with even crazier ranting about an insane MIL.  

RealityJunkie

Your thighs have a mind of their own??? Really??

Wow, what is it with MIL's and drama?? I really hope I become a nice one!

I hear ya though. My MIL is horrible, dramatic and creates lies. I feel so bad for DH though because he has to deal with that crap.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Its so good that your DH is on your side and good for you for setting boundaries.

TristansMom01

ha yeah, the thighs comment really got me last time.  All I could say was "that is the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me.  I'm going to go to sleep now." lol  I know, I will do everything in my power to make sure I'm not a monster in law!  Sorry you have to go through the MIL drama-rama too!

DH's dad and step mom love me for putting MIL in her place...his sister as well.  His dad and step mom are awesome and only come for a day trip maybe 3 times a year.  They're the best! haha 

coraggiosa

I am so sorry you have jerky in-laws. Definitely try not to stress about it - that's the last thing you need. Let your DH handle them as much as possible.

 

TristansMom01

coraggiosa:

I am so sorry you have jerky in-laws. Definitely try not to stress about it - that's the last thing you need. Let your DH handle them as much as possible.

 

I try not to.  I only go into panic mode when she talks about coming and staying for a week or two at a time.  That would never ever ever EVER happen but I swear I start to have an allergic reaction when she does that lol  One thing I'm thrilled about with this pregnancy...we have a 4 bedroom house.  The guest room is going to be turned into the nursery immediately following the a/s ultrasound.  The 4th bedroom is an office and we have a daybed in that room.  She refuses to sleep on the daybed.  I told her that the hotel in town is really cute. 

I would say she could stay at my parents as they have 6 bedrooms but they can't stand her either sooooo...hotel it is.

darjeeling

It's the most wonderful time...of the year...

TristansMom01

darjeeling:

It's the most wonderful time...of the year...

 

WashingtonQueen

I have crazy a$$ in-laws too. At this point they are banned from seeing my kids because of how they acted at my son's first birthday party (which is how they act all the time anyway).

Sorry you have to deal with crazy.

MrsBlindLove

Ugh! That all sounds awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

TristansMom01

WashingtonQueen:

I have crazy a$$ in-laws too. At this point they are banned from seeing my kids because of how they acted at my son's first birthday party (which is how they act all the time anyway).

Sorry you have to deal with crazy.

Oh I don't blame you...if they acted out of line at a family function, especially in my child's honor, I'd go ape shiit.  I know there will come a day when that will be the case for her.  DH has told her not to start trouble because if he has to choose who stays in his life, she won't like the outcome.

Sorry your in laws are crazy as well.  It adds character?  Or something?

beezybaby

yep, my MIL is awful too.  And like you said, I really feel bad for DH because hre loves his mom, but also recognizes her crazy.  She is so manipulative, guilt trippy, controling etc...She has zero respect for the decisions we make for our family, and has from the beginning bashed the fact that I EBF, blaming every little thing on it.  I feel like there should be a seperate board for this....

scgatorgirl20

One of my best friends has a MIL who is absolutely certifiably crazy.  She came to the son's first birthday party wearing a midriff.  That's right... a grandmother in her 60s was showing off her belly at a party.... OH - and all the while talking about her new belly dancing lessons she was taking.  My friend was mor-ti-fied!!  I just don't understand how some people manage to get two shoes on their feet if they can't understand what's decent and what's just awful to do/say, especially to family! 

Thighs have a life of their own... sort of like her mouth does. 

TristansMom01

BreanneL24:

Wow that is crazy! It's great that DH is on your side though. But wow the thigh comment...

My IL's have hated me from the beginning and have said horrible things about me often in the 6ish years DH and I have been together. We have had so many run ins where I have not backed down like they expected me to that they're scared of me now. Idk if that is good or bad but they know if they screw around and piss me off that it won't go away easily. I tried being very nice and forgiving in the beginning but now I refuse to deal with their bull. They try to be nice now because they won't get to see DS much otherwise. They had issues talking about me dying in birth and many more evil things so they only saw DS a couple times. They think he is the greatest being in the world so now they try to keep it together.

Holy shiit! They talked about you dying during birth!?! What in the world would make them think that would be ok???

TristansMom01

beezybaby:

yep, my MIL is awful too. nbsp;And like you said, I really feel bad for DH because hre loves his mom, but also recognizes her crazy. nbsp;She is so manipulative, guilt trippy, controling etc...She has zero respect for the decisions we make for our family, and has from the beginning bashed the fact that I EBF, blaming every little thing on it. nbsp;I feel like there should be a seperate board for this....

I totally agree! MIL wasn't a good mom. I cringe when DH tells me stories from his childhood and I know much much more than she thinks I do. This also makes it hard for me because I can't respect her as a parent with the way she treated her kids. I cant believe your MIL would say anything negative about you EBF! That is completely ignorant.

girlmama83

She sounds awful. I have to admit though, the part about 18 sets of the exact same outfit made me giggle.

darjeeling

BreanneL24:

They had issues talking about me dying in birth and many more evil things so they only saw DS a couple times.

O.o Wow, that's really low of them.

skittles230

I feel your pain. I'm getting more and more nervous about telling my MIL about the pregnancy, I know it's somehow going to get turned into me only getting pregnant to steal her son away and how I just got pregnant to hurt her and blah blah blah.

 I've already told SO she will NOT be involved in this baby's life if she continues to treat us and his daughter the way she does. I've had SD tell me she wishes she didn't have to visit grandma, that she's mean and yells at her if she doesn't do everything perfect and the only time she likes her grandma is when she buys her stuff. I believe it, and we don't take her to visit grandma, but her biomom does.

I'm still undoing the brainwashing with SO. The woman is the most absolutely narcissistic, self-centered, emotionally abusive person I have ever met.  

bananatiff

Your MIL is a whole case of awesomesauce... Wow did you hit the jackpot!

(Please keep us updated with the crazy comments she makes, and very best of luck not killing her next week)