Another school vacation and BM has not requested any time

lily_721

She has not seen SS2 in two years and SS1 in 18 months.  She has not requested anytime with either of them.  SS1 is graduating in June; I wonder if she is planning to show up. 

The boys are better off without her involvement; she causes unnecessary drama in their lives.  I still feel bad for them that their mom is so wrapped up in her own life that she can't be bothered with her children.

J&A2008

Four years here.  I can't believe it's been that long!

Mama2TwoBoys

Wow.. that's such a long time

I can't even imagine not being a part of my child's life for that long. I can't imagine not being apart of my nephews' lives for that long, or my friends kids. 

 

Nineoceans

J&A just out of curiosity, do your boys have any memories of their time with their BM? I'm curious how much my SS7 will remember of his BM- she makes a lot of mistakes in front of him

J&A2008

Nineoceans:

J&A just out of curiosity, do your boys have any memories of their time with their BM? I'm curious how much my SS7 will remember of his BM- she makes a lot of mistakes in front of him

They remember her.  They don't remember the bad stuff, thankfully.    They  never had many details to begin with on her issues, just the ones they lived through, and even those memories have faded.

What they remember is the good stuff, and some stuff I remind them of, like a movie she took them to see or a toy she got for them.

lc630

Hi- I'm new here... Hubby and I just started TTC a few months ago.  I couldn't help but smirk reading your post- I wish that my SD9's BM would GO AWAY and not contact us at all for 2 years.

 

In my case... she's all over the place.  Sometimes she whines that she doesn't see SD enough (she has her EOW and most of the summer).  Other times she cancels her weekends.  She does absolutely zero parenting- nor does she schedule dr appointments, haircuts, soccer practices, etc.  She just shows up whenever parents and teachers are there to witness her "dedication."  SD reports that she is constantly in trouble when she visits her mom (Last week she cancelled their plans because SD woke her up in the afternoon)... Mom sleeps a lot, puts guilt on SD, grills SD for information, yells at SD for talking to us about her life there.  But, like another poster said... the children forget the bad stuff because they don't want to believe that they are unsafe with a bioparent... they focus on the good stuff.  God willing, that kind of optimism sticks with them forever:)

 I do enjoy the time hubby and I have every other weekend to enjoy our newlywed status.  However, I wish evil BM would stop reeking havoc in SD's young life. I guess it's a double edged sword, my friend:)