*~*~*2IF TTCAL Weekly Check In*~*~*

anitaflora

This check in is for Friday, December 20, 2012

This is a check in for those of us that are TTC #2 or more and that have had one or more losses.  A few board members thought it would be nice to connect with other 2IF ladies who have had losses since it's nice to have the support and friendship of others going through similar experiences.   

Check in is every Friday.  Please note it may not be until afternoon or evening but I am planning to keep it going every Friday!

New members:  Welcome! Please post an introduction that includes your TTC history and your current status and I will add you to the list.    

Current members:  Please post your updates, links to your chart and/or blog, information about any upcoming appointments, requests for thoughts & prayers, anything you want to share about your other children, upcoming loss related anniversaries, and virtually anything 2IF TTCAL related.  If you get a BFP please share with us along with your EDD. 

There will also be a question of the week as a GTKY. 

QOTW:  With the holiday season upon us, do you have any favorite traditions you like to do every season?  Is there an interesting history/origin behind it?  Or do you have any traditions you'd like to start in your family?

As this is the first check in, I just want to say I really look forward to getting to know you ladies better and making this a great way to connect with each other!  If you have any suggestions for the check in to make it better, please PM me and let me know! 

Happy holidays to all!

anitaflora

As for my intro/story: 

I am 39 and have an almost three year old son with my husband.

We didn't have any problems getting pregnant with my son when I was 36. It was the second cycle off the pill and my pregnancy was super smooth sailing until the delivery, which was complicated.

We decided to wait a little bit before trying for a sibling. Of course my husband was convinced that since it happened quickly last time it would happen quickly again. I tried to convince him that it might not be that way at all but I only got so far with that. Really neither here nor there I guess, but I'm just saying I had a feeling it might take a lot longer and wanted to start trying again sooner than we did, but of course was respecting what he wanted too. So we started TTC for number 2 in December of last year.

Our first BFP was in February and I was so naive and happy it was great. We went ahead and told family right away. I didn't even POAS again. One BFP and I thought that was most likely that. Then I started bleeding a few days after my period should have been and I learned the phrase chemical pregnancy for the first time.  

The second BFP was in May and at my first appointment in June we discovered there was virtually no growth at all. They couldn't see anything on the ultrasound in the OBGYN's office. One of the hardest moments of my life is remembering lying on that table hearing the midwife tell me she didn't see anything.  I had a natural miscarriage in June, three days after the four year anniversary of my mom's passing.

At this point I still didn't think I really needed to see an RE for sure yet. Because the first loss was never considered an official pregnancy. So at this point I was really only at one official loss. And even though I had reached the "trying for six month" mark recommended for over 35, I had two BFPs already so I wasn't convinced I really needed to see anyone yet.

BFP #3 was in October, again quickly - two months after getting the green light to try again. And not a chemical pregnancy but it did end very quickly. This time my blood was taken and determined that I had ridiculously low progesterone (I think it was at a 1) and my TSH level was too high - 3.74. She started me on progesterone supplements but by that time I was expecting to miscarry since I saw my temperature take a plunge and stay down. So after this one my midwife and OBGYN both recommended that I see an RE to do testing on my hormones and thyroid and see if he could figure out what was going on. Since it was such an early m/c I asked if I should wait before trying again and was told, "Well, that's up to the RE." Since I wasn't going to see him for a while and no one told me not to, and I figured well what's the worst that could happen? Another miscarriage? Well I've done that so fine, let's not super try but what the heck if we have sex during the window then so be it.

And we did which led to BFP #4 in November. I got it the day I was scheduled to see the RE. He tested my TSH that day (12 DPO) and it came back 2.54 which he said was in the range of normal so he didn't prescribe anything for that. He did put me on 200 mg progesterone 2x per day right away as well as baby aspirin. We tested beta levels and while they were rising within the range of normal they were always low and somewhat slow. But they told me not to worry because the ranges can vary so widely and they were still doubling within an acceptable rate.

At my first u/s my heart was broken all over again when they again saw a sac measuring way behind and no fetal pole. After a series of follow up u/s it was determined for sure it was not a viable pregnancy. This time I opted for a D & C which was last Thursday.

So now I am on the bench waiting for CD 1 to roll around so we can do a full RPL work up. I am waiting for the nurse to send me a packet that describes all the various tests the RE is recommending for me and what I need to do and when they occur etc.  

As for my son, we are just enjoying the holidays with him since he is just at the age where he is really excited about Christmas.  I am trying to treasure every moment with him as much as I can.  Sometimes I feel a little selfish because I want to be with him so much and I may be guilty of hogging him from my in laws a little.  But when I think that they've had three kids and five other grandchildren and this could be our only one, I don't feel that bad honestly!!

QOTW:  Really, really simple and probably kind of dumb to even call it a tradition.  But ever since I was little when we went to my mom's mom's house, everyone would take turn opening their presents from youngest to oldest.  Everyone would watch and appreciate each gift the person was opening and make comments etc.  And that's just the way I like it to be now.  Even though it's so hard to do sometimes with littler ones, I think it helps teach patience and gratitude to appreciate every gift and give that person undivided attention while it's their turn.

The other thing is that we don't put out Christmas presents until Christmas eve night.  My husband tried to do this just yesterday and his take on it was that it creates anticipation to have the presents sitting there.  And I see that but we talked about it and he was okay with my feeling that I'd rather start the tradition of having all the presents show up all at once Christmas morning.

CeCe8579

I'm 33 and on cycle #6 of ttcing #2. When ttcing #1, I miscarried three times (all in my siggy) and my DD, who is 5 now, was a twin but her twin didn't make it. I have "ovarian dysfunction" and SO has low motility (he is not DD's father). I am ovulated most months on my own so our RE wants me to try a few more cycles on my own and SO is on supplements to help boost motility. We have hope each month but we know it will be a journey.

QOTW: Each year we go to my Grandma's for Christmas Eve dinner, on Christmas morning we go to my parents' house every year. A tradition I started with my DD is making salt dough ornaments each year to give to friends, family and others! We love it and it is fun to do together!

egsquared

I am 36.  Got pregnant with DD after six cycles of trying.  No problem carrying that pregnancy at all.  We started TTC#2 in June 2011.  I got a BFP pretty quickly in August, but had a natural m/c around 7 weeks.  After that, I went on to have 3 c/p's.  Between the second and third c/p, I did have a polyp removed, so when I got the last BFP, we were excited because we thought the polyp was the reason for our losses.  We still lost that baby, so we moved on to an RE.  First RE was not a good fit, so now we are heading into IVF#1 with RE #2. 

We had our IVF consult today and learn all about the different drugs and were given a calendar for January.  It seems surreal to me that this is where we're headed.

QOTW:  We've been taking DD to the same Santa since she was born, and every year we ride the Santa Train here (the subway pulls out a regular train car and replaces it with a flatbed with Santa (a real person) in a sleigh with reindeer.  All the other train cars are decorated with lights inside and out and elves pass out candy canes) - our 'subway' actually runs above ground too, so it's cool to see the Santa Train coming down the tracks.

SigmundsGirl

I'm 38 and DH is 40. We have an almost 3 year old DS, who we couldn't love more.

We had trouble TTC DS. It took 18 cycles and 3 of those were with our RE. After I got pregnant it was smooth sailing. It was a perfect pregnancy and delivery.

After I stopped breast feeding I got back on the pill, but it took over a year to get my cycles back to normal. I had 14 day periods and 14 days between periods. It was horrible.

I had 4 good cycles, then we started trying for 2. We went back to my RE and after 3 cycles we got our BFP and thought we were in the clear. I naturally miscarried at 9 weeks. We were heart broken but waited one cycle and started trying again.

It has been 3 cycles of the same protocol and nothing. We are taking a month off to enjoy the holidays and will do an IUI in mid January.

QOTW: DS is so excited about Christmas this year and I am trying to enjoy every minute of it. We have been taking DS to see the same Santa too and I love to see how he has grown. DS helped decorate the tree and was adorable. My parents will spend the night so they can share the joy of Christmas morning with DS.

Lauren79

DH and I are both 33.  We have a 16 month old DD.  It took us a long time to get pregnant with DD.  I went to a RE and had all the testing and they found nothing.  They put me on femara and I got pregnant on the first cycle. 

When DD was 5 months I went back to my RE to discuss getting pregnant again.  I was BF and they advised to wean.  I weaned DD in Febrauary and had enough milk stored for her to have BM for one year.  I so regret this decision as I wanted to BF for a year and I am still not pregnant with #2. 

I got a BFP in June and miscarried in July.  My numbers were not doubling and were low.  This was the hardest time in my life.

I got another BFP in September and miscarried in October.  I was heartbroken and took this harder than the first.  It's scary to think you may never have another baby.

I got another BFP in November but started bleeding the next day.  This one didn't hit me hard.  I think because I never had confirmation other than the digital tests and the FRER's.

My update above.  I trigger tonight with 2 follies.  : )

QOTW: Italian Family Tradition - We make Pizza Frite/Zeppoles on Christmas Eve.  I am so looking forward to them!

 

ttcmbbaby

I am 27 dh is 26 and I have a 7 year old. My dd has a different bio father as I was engaged to him and living with him when I got pregnant. When I told him I was pregnant he left and said he didn't want a baby and that I was "effing up his life". My dh and I went to middle school and high school together but he moved away for college. I called him and told him and he had just happened to move back the week prior because he didn't like it. Needless to say he protected me and our love sprouted. My dh has been with me since I was 3 months pregnant and he was in the delivery room and cut the cord. He loves dd as his own and she knows nothing of her bio dad (his choice 100%) so we are waiting until she is older to tell her... 

Therefore, baby #2 is actually my dh's first baby... We have been ttc baby #2 now for 4 years... We had to wait a year before my ob would see me and then he did an sa which was perfect; then I tried Chlomid and it didn't work; did hcg showed blockage; did lap which showed no blockage and all was perfect; tried injectibles and they made me super ovulate; so now we are doing letrozole and hcg trigger. August/September our sperm met egg but did not implant. Then October (my birthday month) I got a bfp 3 days before Halloween and we told everyone since the build up of 4 years was too much. Well Halloween night into November 1 I went pee at 2 am and lots of bright red blood. Had blood work and saw RE and hcg was 4 and there was nothing on monitor.

This is officially our first month back into trying after our mc November 1 and I am cautiously optimistic. Okay no I'm pretty negative. I feel like it will never happen and I should give up. I'm surrounded by preggos at work and I keep thinking it's not fair and why not me... I feel like I should get a second job to make more $ so we can have a better shot by doing iui or ivf... so I don't know... sorry for rambling... I'm happy to be supportive for all and to lean on and cry when it's my turn...

My holiday traditions (which I am trying to break) is that we have like 5 Christmases one with each family member so no one is left out because we cannot all get along in one place... yay... So we will have our first Christmas this Sunday with my Oma then Christmas Eve is split between my mom and dh's mom then Christmas day we have to go to dh's Gram's house and then dh's dad is coming to our house. We were suppose to go to my dad's but dh and I have been on and off sick and their premie was just released so we don't feel like that's good for anyone... The tradition I wish to add is I want to find a metal menorah and start that for my daughter. My grandma was from Poland and grandpa from Russia and they as a child escaped persecution. I was raised Christian but I want to start doing more of the Jewish religious holidays because they believe and celebrate until they passed (my grandpa is gone and my grandma is close). So to have that much faith to keep it going is inspirational to me.

Best of luck to all! I have an us on the 31st for possible trigger, so I will let you know... 

74dragonfly

Sorry a little late. I like this check in because as some us know getting the BFP is not the end of the story.
I conceived DD cycle 1. Trying for 2 for almost two years. Cycle one for 2 was BFP. At first ultrasound sound at eight weeks we learned the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Had DC. Assumed I'd be back with a BFP soon. Nope after six months saw on who ran tests. AMH was 0.7 and vitamin D was 9. Made RE appt. Saw RE in January. Found out I was pregnant again two weeks later. Conceived on our own. Another early loss. Devastating. Did all the RE tests and repeat loss tests in April. All fine. Started Letrozole in July. Just did third IUI.

QOTW : I buy DD a Christmas ornament every year. My mom did it for me. This year I got a unicorn. I know she will love it.

anitaflora

Just wanted to say how glad I am we have a group going! I have loved reading your intros to get to know you all. I am so sorry for all the losses we've suffered but am so glad we can get a group going to connect with one another.

And love reading about all the traditions and holiday experiences!

Thanks for joining the check in! I plan to reply more individually every week in the main post.

Also, sorry I messed up the date there. It actually wasn't until much later that night that I realized it was Thu when I posted not Fri!

Happy Holidays everyone!!