If anyone here remembers me I am back.

StephK86

I took a break from my blog and the board for a bit. Sometimes everything can get so overwhelming and I just shut down. I am so sorry to see the new mommas that are here. My heart breaks for each and every one of you. You have found the right place to come to for support though. I am always someone who is willing to talk with other bereaved mothers and answer any questions, share my story or just listen to whatever it is you need to get out. I know this is a hard time of the year for all of us. I wish everyone as much peace as they can find during the holiday season. For those of you going through it for the first time allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to and don't feel guilty about it for a minute. If anyone ever needs me just shoot me a pm or page. I don't ever want an angel momma to feel alone.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Glad to see you back!  Can't believe Blake is a year old!  Happy Birthday Blake!  He's such a cutie!

jbranden12

Happy birthday rainbow Blake! Completely understand the need to step back for a bit, but I'm glad you're back!

StephK86

Thanks for welcoming me back girls! Also thanks for Blake's birthday wishes. This year flew by so fast. I can not believe my tiny baby is now a mobile, talking little man!

Fluttergirl- I see you just passed two hard milestones. The one year mark since you had and lost your baby. I hope you are doing o.k. (I know who can be doing o.k.?) I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as I know how hard all those firsts are. Did you do anything special on either day? Or did you just sit home and remember your sweet baby at home?

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

 

 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

StephK86:

Thanks for welcoming me back girls! Also thanks for Blake's birthday wishes. This year flew by so fast. I can not believe my tiny baby is now a mobile, talking little man!

Fluttergirl- I see you just passed two hard milestones. The one year mark since you had and lost your baby. I hope you are doing o.k. (I know who can be doing o.k.?) I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as I know how hard all those firsts are. Did you do anything special on either day? Or did you just sit home and remember your sweet baby at home?

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

 

 

Thank you so much for noticing.  On his birthday we actually left for vacation (a Mediterranean cruise) - DHs family met us at the cemetery before we left and we sang happy birthday, released balloons and ate cupcakes.

DH and I both took the day off on his angelversary.  I purposely didn't make plans because I didn't know how the day was going to be.  I tried to keep myself busy (the house got really clean that day), and DH asked me if I wanted to go pick out a display case for Corbin's special things.  We'd been wanting to do it for a while, just hadn't gotten around to it.  We found the perfect one and then spent the afternoon putting it together.  We went to visit him and then that night we watched the video of all his pictures.  We were bawling at first (and asking each other "who thought this was a good idea") but then we started laughing and remembering all the goofy faces he made and his funny quirks (like how he loved his swing as long as it wasn't swinging and he loved to be swaddled as long as his arms weren't involved).  The day was difficult but I think it went as well as it could.  

jbranden12

StephK86:

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

Yes, I am! Sometimes it feels like time is flying, other times it feels like March will never get here! It's not been without anxiety since my pregnancy was picture perfect with Patricia until her death, but we're hoping every day for a different outcome!

fluttergirlmoonchild79

jbranden12:

StephK86:

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

Yes, I am! Sometimes it feels like time is flying, other times it feels like March will never get here! It's not been without anxiety since my pregnancy was picture perfect with Patricia until her death, but we're hoping every day for a different outcome!

I can't believe you're this far along already!  Even without being PGAL yet I can understand the anxiety.  Hoping and praying for a better outcome for you!

Petunia844

Hi! I love seeing all of your pictures on fb, I'm not around this board all the time either anymore, but good to see you back!

karebear57

Welcome back and a very Happy Birthday to Blake! I can't believe it's been a yr.

StephK86

fluttergirlmoonchild79:

StephK86:

Thanks for welcoming me back girls! Also thanks for Blake's birthday wishes. This year flew by so fast. I can not believe my tiny baby is now a mobile, talking little man!

Fluttergirl- I see you just passed two hard milestones. The one year mark since you had and lost your baby. I hope you are doing o.k. (I know who can be doing o.k.?) I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as I know how hard all those firsts are. Did you do anything special on either day? Or did you just sit home and remember your sweet baby at home?

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

 

 

Thank you so much for noticing.  On his birthday we actually left for vacation (a Mediterranean cruise) - DHs family met us at the cemetery before we left and we sang happy birthday, released balloons and ate cupcakes.

DH and I both took the day off on his angelversary.  I purposely didn't make plans because I didn't know how the day was going to be.  I tried to keep myself busy (the house got really clean that day), and DH asked me if I wanted to go pick out a display case for Corbin's special things.  We'd been wanting to do it for a while, just hadn't gotten around to it.  We found the perfect one and then spent the afternoon putting it together.  We went to visit him and then that night we watched the video of all his pictures.  We were bawling at first (and asking each other "who thought this was a good idea") but then we started laughing and remembering all the goofy faces he made and his funny quirks (like how he loved his swing as long as it wasn't swinging and he loved to be swaddled as long as his arms weren't involved).  The day was difficult but I think it went as well as it could.  

A cruise sounds like a nice way to relax and let your mind think of all the good memories you had with your baby. I am glad you got through that day as best you could and were able to remember Corbin in a good way. I know I tend to focus more on Gavin's death then life and that is something I am teaching myself to change. Where did you find a case? I have been looking for something. Right now all of Gavin's stuff is in a small box and I just have some things displayed on our entertainment center. You are also very brave watching the pictures. I have never been able to do that yet. It sounds like it might have been healing and maybe I should take the leap too. Thanks for sharing your days with me. Thinking of you.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

StephK86:

fluttergirlmoonchild79:

StephK86:

Thanks for welcoming me back girls! Also thanks for Blake's birthday wishes. This year flew by so fast. I can not believe my tiny baby is now a mobile, talking little man!

Fluttergirl- I see you just passed two hard milestones. The one year mark since you had and lost your baby. I hope you are doing o.k. (I know who can be doing o.k.?) I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as I know how hard all those firsts are. Did you do anything special on either day? Or did you just sit home and remember your sweet baby at home?

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

 

 

Thank you so much for noticing.  On his birthday we actually left for vacation (a Mediterranean cruise) - DHs family met us at the cemetery before we left and we sang happy birthday, released balloons and ate cupcakes.

DH and I both took the day off on his angelversary.  I purposely didn't make plans because I didn't know how the day was going to be.  I tried to keep myself busy (the house got really clean that day), and DH asked me if I wanted to go pick out a display case for Corbin's special things.  We'd been wanting to do it for a while, just hadn't gotten around to it.  We found the perfect one and then spent the afternoon putting it together.  We went to visit him and then that night we watched the video of all his pictures.  We were bawling at first (and asking each other "who thought this was a good idea") but then we started laughing and remembering all the goofy faces he made and his funny quirks (like how he loved his swing as long as it wasn't swinging and he loved to be swaddled as long as his arms weren't involved).  The day was difficult but I think it went as well as it could.  

A cruise sounds like a nice way to relax and let your mind think of all the good memories you had with your baby. I am glad you got through that day as best you could and were able to remember Corbin in a good way. I know I tend to focus more on Gavin's death then life and that is something I am teaching myself to change. Where did you find a case? I have been looking for something. Right now all of Gavin's stuff is in a small box and I just have some things displayed on our entertainment center. You are also very brave watching the pictures. I have never been able to do that yet. It sounds like it might have been healing and maybe I should take the leap too. Thanks for sharing your days with me. Thinking of you.

We found one at Michael's.  It's actually a case to display a basketball or a football helmet but it's very nice.  It's got wood trim and a mirror on the back.  It was like 40 or 50 bucks.  I'll be honest, I'm not good at remembering the good either but DH is, so whenever I get really low he tries to remind me of the good times and how we at least had him with us for 36 days.  It was actually more DH's idea to watch the pictures and it did hurt my heart but at the same time it felt good.  My thought is always "nothing can hurt me more than I already hurt so..."  Wishing you peace and love.

StephK86

jbranden12:

StephK86:

jbranden12- You are coming along in your pregnancy I see! A few weeks past the half way mark. That must feel good. I hope you continue to have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

Yes, I am! Sometimes it feels like time is flying, other times it feels like March will never get here! It's not been without anxiety since my pregnancy was picture perfect with Patricia until her death, but we're hoping every day for a different outcome!

I totally understand your fears. I too had a picture perfect pregnancy with Gavin until his death. Blake's was actually a little more rocky. I will keep you in my prayers, hope time flies by and that take home baby is in your arms before you know it!

Petunia844-Thank you so much! Sometimes I think I am a picture whore so I am glad someone enjoys them! Glad to see you over here too.

KareBear57-I missed your angelversary too. How was that day for you? Did you hide in bed all day or do something special?

Thanks fluttergirl! I will have to look there. You are exactly right we have already been through the worst hurt imaginable. I never thought of it that way as far as looking at the picture dvd. Thanks for those words.

jbranden12

StephK86:

I totally understand your fears. I too had a picture perfect pregnancy with Gavin until his death. Blake's was actually a little more rocky. I will keep you in my prayers, hope time flies by and that take home baby is in your arms before you know it!

Thank you for the kind thoughts! 

karebear57

Since it was a nice day out we had a picnic and I made cupcakes and lit a candle for her and sang her happy birthday. I was so surprised I didn't cry that day.

StephK86

Sometimes I think we build ourselves up more before the actual day. There was times I thought I wouldn't make it through certain holidays and I actually had a decent day. I am glad you were able to celebrate your baby in a happy way.