Regression (a little long)

emw8910

I don't usually post too often but I really need some advice on this situation!

Short back story: My husband has a 4 1/2 year DD and I have been in her life since she was 6 months old and we've been married almost 3 years. It's been a rough road but things are much better between us and BM!

Jump to present: BM just recently started dating someone that lives about 2 hours away and he's been in my SD's life for about 5 months now. Since he lives so far away and has a M-F 9-5 job he usually only comes up on the weekends. At first SD didn't like him at all but now I think she's gotten use to him and he's a nice guy and has finally come around with him. That being said, DH and I are expecting our second child together. Our first is 18 months old and I am due in March. The first time I was pregnant SD started regressing when DD was born, peeing on herself and having lots of accidents. BM had also just broken up with a boyfriend. But after a few months she got over it and we moved on. About a month ago SD has started having lots of accidents. During the day, at night, during naps. And it's very random. Sometimes at our house, sometimes at BM's house, sometimes at school, etc. Her ped wants her to see a Urologist just to make sure it's nothing physical. I'm wondering if maybe it's because of everything going on in her life right now? Is it normal for her to regress with a second pregnancy even though her sister is so old? BM refuses to say or think that it has anything to do with her boyfriend and wants to blame it entirely on us. We tried to explain that it doesn't mean it's a bad thing, just major changes that could really be affecting her whether it be on our side or hers and we just want to get her the help she needs.

My main question is: Is it normal for her to be older, already gone through one pregnancy with us and her sister being 18 months old, for her to regress with a second pregnancy? We don't have a chance to talk to her dr about this so I'm a little lost with it!

mom2one

I think so, yes. DD's best friend is 4 and has a new baby brother. She has been having regular accidents several times a day since he was born.

emw8910

I definitely think it could be a possibility, I just thought that maybe she would be use to it since we've already been through it once? And I also thought maybe it wouldn't start until the baby is born and I still have 4 months left. There's just a lot going on in her life with the baby and new boyfriend and she just started preschool. But I really have no idea and just want to help her through whatever it is!

Littlejen22

He'll my BFFs DD turned 5 a week ago and still has accidents and the pedi is not at all concerned. They moved this year and he assumes that is contributing but is not worried at all. Trust your gut, or DH and BMs gut, I would not put her through a traumatizing procedure unless I was worried something was wrong. Have they at least tested for a UTI before recommending a urologist?

Littlejen22

Preschool alone could cause it.

emw8910

It's a daily and nightly thing out of nowhere, she's been potty trained since she was 2 1/2. Some days she can go hours without going to the bathroom and some days she has to go every 10 minutes. She doesn't have any infections and her ped is concerned with the amount of accidents all of a sudden and wants to make sure it's not something physical that she can't control before we look elsewhere.

Littlejen22

emw8910:

It's a daily and nightly thing out of nowhere, she's been potty trained since she was 2 1/2. Some days she can go hours without going to the bathroom and some days she has to go every 10 minutes. She doesn't have any infections and her ped is concerned with the amount of accidents all of a sudden and wants to make sure it's not something physical that she can't control before we look elsewhere.

I will repeat, my friends child just turned five and goes through this and her pedi is not remotely concerned especially since they moved this year.

Hell, I did not PT at all until already turned four like two weeks after turning four and I am 38 and my Pedi was not concerned and I had the best bladder ever before having kids.

If it was me I would trust my own instinct, a urologist is likely to do invasive testing and will be looking at her privates, I would never do that unless I personally was concerned, I know they are doctors but my "Mommy instinct" has not failed me so far, I could not diagnose because I am not a doctor but when I think something is wrong with my kids I am right and when I think it is nothing and others worry I am also right even if I let them convince me otherwise. Just my two cents again.

LoveActually4

Yup. My 11 year old S'S regresses every time we have a baby not with PT but in other areas. Our psych said its normal and that it usu regulates itself when they realize the changes they expect aren't as dramatic as they had anticipated. It can't hurt to go to a urologist though!