MIL watching LO

Cocobeee

My parents live 5 min away and watch LO whenever we go to the movies or a night out. MIL lives an hour away and visits when she can on the weekends. She called an asked if we could come over there, leave the baby there and us go to a movie, dinner, shopping over there and they pay for everything. I feel so comfortable leaving him with my parents but not with MIL. Many people that have met her describe her as "out to lunch" or not all there. It makes me uncomfortable to leave LO there. DH really wants to let his mom watch him. WDYT? Am I being over protective?

rakle99

Is there anything specific your MIL has done to make you feel uncomfortable or is it a general anxiety? Your DH has a stronger trust bond with his mother than you are going to, and I'm sure that's adding to it. Unless there's a specific reason why you don't want to leave LO there, it may be a good exercise for you to learn to trust her, or to learn to leave LO. You will have to do it eventually.

kplaxco85

I am no help, but I wanted you to know you're not alone. I can not even handle my MIL walking out of the room with LO. I wish I could be more comfortable, but I don't trust her at all. The notrust issues stem from watching her for years ignore SIL wishes for her LO.

Cocobeee

The thing that bothers me is I don't think she'll take anything I say seriously. for example I don't want her letting LO sleep on his tummy unmonitored or giving solids. When she sees my dogs she stuffs them with treats. DH and I beg her to stop and she giggles like we're stupid. I just don't know, I do realize I am creating these fictitious situations that could happen and maybe I need to let go a little..

Cocobeee

kplaxco85:

I am no help, but I wanted you to know you're not alone. I can not even handle my MIL walking out of the room with LO. I wish I could be more comfortable, but I don't trust her at all. The notrust issues stem from watching her for years ignore SIL wishes for her LO.

Thank you, it does maker feel better. I wish I could trust her but I just don't right now..maybe in time when he's a tad older i will.

kplaxco85

Cocobeee:

The thing that bothers me is I don't think she'll take anything I say seriously. for example I don't want her letting LO sleep on his tummy unmonitored or giving solids. When she sees my dogs she stuffs them with treats. DH and I beg her to stop and she giggles like we're stupid. I just don't know, I do realize I am creating these fictitious situations that could happen and maybe I need to let go a little..

This is me exactly! I've watched her say yes to SIL and then turn around and do the opposite. I'm terrified she'll give L 8oz of formula or cereal instead of 3.5 of BM, she's constantly telling me that L is hungry. DH tells her "not spitting up after a feeding is a good thing, it means she's getting the perfect amount" but to MIL it means there's still room for more! I can't stand the thought of L being alone with her!

hboo2011

Wow, you all must have some serious crazy in laws to not letthem babysit. (minus the alcoholic fil, that is reasonable to not want a car seat in his car).

Now, does my MIL do things exactly the way I do? Probably not. Neither does my mom. But they raised children of their own just fine, I fully believe my mil is capable of keeping my child alive and ok (without dropping her) for a few hours. Sometimes grandparents just want some alone time with their grandchildren.

As long as they follow my 'rules', I don't see an issue. But I also don't have many rules... I can't even think of one off the top of my head.

nealbl

Normally I think it would be strange for anyone to request they watch your new baby without you there, but this is how I see it.

Your parents are getting to help you guys out a lot. Watching your LO and giving you and DH some free time. I think your MIL is wanting to be able to provide that to you as well. 

My IL's are 5 min away and my parents are 45 min away. My IL's help out with the kiddos all the time. For little things like going to the grocery store or anything. My parents do so much for us too and my Mom even comes down once a week to watch DD#1 for the day. She still says she wishes she lived close enough to help out with the little things. 

Think about how much you love your little one and how you will always want to help them. Our parents(well most of our parents) just want to do that for all of us. Sometimes they overstep boundaries but I think they have good intetntions.

So I do not think it is weird in this situation that she is offering this, b/c I think it is more her trying to provide help and give you guys free time just like your parents do. And it is less her wanting to be alone with your LO. I could be wrong though.

If you feel like she won't follow your wishes though that is another thing and it is something DH needs to to address with her.  

candaceleigh21

I wish I had advice. My MIL actually threated to keep Brants paci hostage and "lose it" if we left their house today after lunch so we would have to stay and look for it. Really?! Ugh. They make me crazy. They live 10 minutes away, not 10 states so they see him regularly. She actually told me that she thinks she could do a better job with him than I do. I was LIVID i am a SAHM and work my butt off to keep him happy and healthy.

hboo2011

candaceleigh21:

I wish I had advice. My MIL actually threated to keep Brants paci hostage and "lose it" if we left their house today after lunch so we would have to stay and look for it. Really?! Ugh. They make me crazy. They live 10 minutes away, not 10 states so they see him regularly. She actually told me that she thinks she could do a better job with him than I do. I was LIVID i am a SAHM and work my butt off to keep him happy and healthy.

Nexttime just tell her you have plenty more at home and get the f outta there!