WWYD - DC worker nicknamed DD "Chunks"

TooShy2

I feel like I am over-reacting, so I'm asking for a reality check.  I picked DD up at day care yesterday and overheard a new (male) employee calling her "Chunks" several times.  She is 21 months and yes, she is "generously proportioned" as her pedi likes to say.  I didn't really like it at the time, and I thought to myself, "well, she's too young to know what he means" so I didn't say anything about it.  But the fact is that I'm still thinking about it today. 

I feel like giving any young girl a nickname based on her weight is just a BAD idea, even at 21 months.  It may not mean anything to her now, but by the time she's 3 and understands what he means, then it could do her harm.  I'm probably going to ask him to stop the next time I see him, but honestly, am I over-reacting? 

MisN

I don't think you are overreacting at all - I'd feel the same way and I don't think its appropriate.

I would probably say something (definitely if I heard him say it again) in a nice way...something like this to the DC provided in question:

"I know I'm probably being over senstive and I know you mean it in a friendly way, but can I ask you not to call her that?". 

 ETA:   Aside from any body image concerns, toddlers pick up new words so easily and is that a term that he really wants your daughter and the other kids to be picking up?

lkm2006

Estwd2:

Eh, yes and no. I see what you mean. Body shaming can start at any age and what is a joke to one person may not be a joke to the one he's calling "Chunks." Obviously he doesn't intend to mock her, but those who engage in body shaming frequently don't realize they're doing it and don't realize the damage they're causing. I'd probably laugh it off, but if it bothers you that much, say something.

I agree.. I would probably say something though.  I think there are plenty of ways you could nicely bring it up to ask him to stop.

12bailey18

I get where you're coming from. DH has nicknamed DD 'chunks' and 'little fats.' It kinda irks me but I know that he doesn't mean anything by it and I know in his mind he thinks it's cute and he thinks she's cute. Maybe it's a guy thing and they don't think about that stuff, like at all? LOL. As she gets older I'll tell him not to do it anymore but I think it's fine at this age. However, I'm not sure how I would feel if it was anyone other than him doing it. 

mben1119

It wouldn't bother me. I call DS chunkster and things like that all the time. In all honesty, would you be as upset if your LO were a boy?

TooShy2

Estwd2:

Eh, yes and no. I see what you mean. Body shaming can start at any age and what is a joke to one person may not be a joke to the one he's calling "Chunks." Obviously he doesn't intend to mock her, but those who engage in body shaming frequently don't realize they're doing it and don't realize the damage they're causing. I'd probably laugh it off, but if it bothers you that much, say something.

Thanks for your input, and this is just what I'm worried about.  You put it much more clearly than I did.  But also thanks to other posters as well.  It actually would bother me even if he were a boy, but only because my husband grew up being a "chunky kid" and he has told me about getting picked on in school.  I absolutely agree that I don't think he means any harm, and DD is a really likeable kid and he's playing with her and saying it in a teasing manner, so it really is a term of endearment, it just makes me oddly uncomfortable.  But as another poster mentioned, and something I hadn't even thought about, is the possibility of her saying it to some other kid.  So I think I will ask him to stop, and I usually don't fly off the handle about things so I'm sure I can find a gentle way to ask.  Thanks so much everyone!  I feel much better (and less like a crazy person, although that is still a possibility 

dairygirl19

I think it's weird as the DC worker why they're probably close doesn't warrant the same personal relationship that is required in nicknames like this.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it..it's all in love. I call my own DD Chunkers all the time. She giggles.

gracefulruby33

I definitely wouldn't like that either, and that DC worker shouldn't put labels on kids of any kind. I know he doesn't mean to offend or whatever, but he should know better.

JennaNAaron

It wouldn't bother me.  We call both of the little ones chunky monkey and chunkster.  It's a nickname.  If she was 5 I'd be concerned, at 21 months I'd let it go.  She's not going to get an unhealthy self image at this point.

NewFamily09

I don't think the nickname will affect your daughter at all.  I think she's way too young to understand that, but giving kids nicknames like that is still totally inappropriate for a DC working, in my opinion.  I mean, it's one thing to think it in your head, but you don't use it out loud, especially in front of the parents.  I don't think you are overreacting.  Just nicely ask him to stop next time and he'll probably be so embarrassed about it. 

Margaret Lemon

I am amazed everyday at what my LO understands. Who knows if your LO gets it. Doubtful at this age, but I would say something. 

My brother made fun of my sister from when she was really little calling her fat,etc. I think it still bothers her. And, nicknames have a way of sticking. 

magnoliablossom00

I used to work at a daycare, and I find this to be really inappropriate.

Teasing a child's physical appearance isn't "OK" at ANY age.

mamastich

mabenner1:

It wouldn't bother me. I call DS chunkster and things like that all the time. In all honesty, would you be as upset if your LO were a boy?

This my dc has some nick names for my LO and she's chunky and I was chunky when I was younger. I remember my pedi calling me a 'butter ball' people are to sensitive these days. She's young and won't remember and if she does then maybe she will be one of the few people who can laugh at herself.

kaitylin

DH used to call DD "chunks" all the time because she had such chunky cheeks! I even talk about her chunky cheeks still (and she's actually a petite girl now but her cheeks have stayed!). I don't think it's an insult. However, when she was at her chunkiest around 6 months old and people said it I got a little upset and then realized I was projecting my own body image issues onto her and that chunky is a compliment for a baby! It only offended me initially because I would be insulted if someone called me chunky and I think I was having my own negative post baby body issues and only hearing the word and not considering the context. Not saying this is the case for you but I think our own issues and feelings can be triggered by stuff like this.

I don't think there's a problem with it now if it's being used in an endearing way but I would maybe ask him to be careful of using it as she gets more verbal and obviously if it really bothers you than you need to do something. I do think it's odd for someone else to be nicknaming someones baby chunks but I agree with PP that it's a guy thing and he honestly probably has no idea it's offensive. I'd just try to mention it casually if you do because he will probably be very embarrassed and realize that it didn't come out as he intended.

laurakaz13

I think I would ask him to stop calling her that.  He's not doing it maliciously, and of course chunky babies and toddlers are adorable, but it's just not something I would want sticking when she's older. 

MarSamWhitney

laurakaz13:

I think I would ask him to stop calling her that.  He's not doing it maliciously, and of course chunky babies and toddlers are adorable, but it's just not something I would want sticking when she's older. 

 

  This. It couldnt hurt to say something.

SkyBee

sing4mysavior:

i think the biggest factor is that it's still bothering you days later...you didn't fly off the handle, you let it go...thought about it...and still aren't comfortable with it...time to speak up. GL!

this exactly

LadyXaverian

As someone who was given "cute" nicknames by my family that made fun of my "chunkiness" as a kid, I would absolutely ask him nicely not to use that nick name any more. He might not mean it maliciously, but if it sticks, it will most likely hurt her feelings.

As a teenager, when I thought about those nicknames, I cried. There are times today as an adult when I think about those nicknames and still cringe.

etude de la vie

Would you be offended if it was your son?  

People call DS chunks "gordo" (Spanish for chunky) all the time and it never brothers me or anyone else. He is a stocky kid wearing 3T and about 35 pounds. 

When Dd was a baby she was a very chunky ,..as a toddler she is skinny weighing 32 pounds and 3T. It didn't bother me then either. Babies are supposed to be chunky!

I noticed there is a gender difference. Shopping as kohls they have "boys husky" section but they call girls with just an "x" like "5x" ...no "girls husky" apparently!  

lukafoo74

He probably doesn't mean anything by it, he probably thinks it is endearing. That said, I would just politely ask him to not call her that. Don't make it a big deal, maybe suggest another nickname for her that you like. I wouldn't want someone calling my kid chunks.