Is "RSVP by.." rude?

JenBee74

My best friend is hosting the shower, my Mom is paying for the caterer. Mom wants an "RSVP by" date on the invite so she can give an accurate head count to the caterer. Is this rude? I feel like it implies that people don't know basic ettiquite about responding to an invite in a timely fashion. I also get Mom's point on nudging the slackers. Thoughts?

cmhicklin

I would say include it, but don't be suprised if people try RSVPing after the date or show up with out doing it at all. Apparently people don't know what RSVP means anymore.

rhubarb123

No it is not rude.  Many people don't even know what RSVP means!  If they do and if they have ever in their life hosted an event they would know that you need a head count for food and seating.  BTW...even with the RSVP and the "by date" you will still have those that don't respond at all...so they will have to be called by your BFF or your mom to ask if they are coming or not.

mhickey426

definitely include it.  It is not rude at all.  People do not know to RSVP even when asked to RSVP by a certain date.  I can't tell you how many times I have experienced and heard about people not sending in an RSVP.  My parents actually had to call people to find out if they were coming to my wedding because I had to pay the final amount 1 week before the wedding and I was still waiting to find out if people were coming or not.

rpalen29

all of this. Include it!!

Liz4444

Everyone invitation I've ever received has an RSVP by date on it. 

JenniD2

No, this is not rude. I believe every invitation I have received has had an "RSVP by". Although, it is amazing how many people will still "forget" to RSVP.

JenBee74

Thank you for the feedback, we will include it.

a13049

All of what PP have posted, your mom can also expect once the date has arrives to have not heard from half the guest list. So if she wants an accurate count she may need to call those guest and ask them of they will be attending

highlights

I think its fine, so long as she knows that people don't typically RSVP, at least in my experience. You'll want to be sure to have enough food.

LatteLady5

Your mom is right. It's not even a little rude.

mama&baby

Ditto PP's...though your mom should be prepared to make phone calls for an accurate headcount, so be sure to give her a list of phone numbers if she doesn't have them.

For some reason, most of the events I have had not only did most not RSVP... the ones that did would RSVP to someone else! (aka- MIL or my sister) I guess they were fine with showing up to the event to get free food, etc... but couldn't talk to me on the phone for two seconds. Rude!

Bride-hilda

It's not rude; it's the entire point of an RSVP.

Jillibean85

It's good to add it, as everyone is suggesting. Sometimes time gets away from you or you aren't sure yet if you can go, so having that guideline there lets you know the latest you need to have your answer (and sent) by. 

transcriber87

MOST DEFINITELY include the RSVP by....  I got married this year on 8/17, we sent out invites with RSVP cards to reply by July 20th, put stamps on and it is like people just don't get it! So we spent 2 weeks on the phone, emailing, FB'ing the 3/4 of people who never sent the card back.