Infertility

New to the board

Hello new friends...my name is Lindsey and I am new here.

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for 3.5. We have been TTC for 18 months now and I am really struggling with the emotional aspect of it all. 

I went off of birth control in June 2011. Once I went off the pill I had about 6 months of irregular periods but in January 2012 I stopped having periods all together. My doctor told me to change my diet. I did...nothing changed. I however, changed Doctors. My new doctor thought that I might have PCOS. I did the internal ultra sound and she said everything looked normal. We started on progesterone to help me have a period...then we added Clomid. I have taken 2 months worth of Clomid have not had success. 

It is so depressing every month to take a pregnancy test and see it say "not pregnant". I swear it feels like the words "not pregnant" pop up before I even lay the stick down on the counter. Each month I get more and more depressed. I'm not sure where to go from here. I just thought this board might be a good place to start...many of you have been where I am at now. 

My husbands 30th birthday is on Christmas day and my 28th birthday is the day after his. Before we got married we talked about the children we wanted to have and we decided that we definitely wanted to have kids before he turned 30. With that milestone quickly approaching it just makes me feel like I have let him down somehow because I have been unable to get pregnant. 

Don't get me wrong, he has NEVER said that or made me feel that way. I just know how important having a family is to him. I'm just really sad. 

Sorry to be such a bummer, but thank you for listening to me.  

Re: New to the board

  • I am so sorry you find yourself here and for everything you are going through. The road to creating a family is supposed to be fun and exciting, not sad and disappointing and I am sure all of the ladies on this board can relate to what you are going through so welcome.

    Are you seeing an RE? If not I would definitely recommend doing that. There are a load of tests we went through to ultimately reach our dx..has you hubby done a semen analysis yet? There are just so many things to consider, things I had no idea about and the RE would explore those things with you.

    GL, we are all here to support you!

    TTC since June 2011
    DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
    Me (32): all clear
    Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
    Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
    Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
    2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
    Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
    ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
    TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
    froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
    8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
    Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
    SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
    SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
    9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
    All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
    FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
    moving on to DS
    DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
    DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
    1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
    2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
    3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
    A/S 7/22/13: IT'S A BOY!!
    PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome
    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2qmon5u.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/laurakat24/turkeybaster-1.jpg"[/IMG]Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Welcome and good luck with everything!!
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  • Hello & welcome.  I'm sorry you have to be here but I think you'll find a great deal of support.  I can completely relate to what you said about feeling like you're letting dh down.  The thing to remember is that DH married you completely, not just your uterus & ovaries.  The IF road isn't easy or for the faint of heart, but ultimately I feel that it has strengthened my marriage.  You guys are partners in this, just as you'll be partners in raising your family, regardless of how you create one. Perhaps counseling (either you alone or as a couple) would be beneficial to you.

     

    I agree with PP.  Are you seeing an RE or an OBGYN?  I highly recommend seeing an RE if you aren't already.  There is a lot of testing out there that is beyond that which many OBGYNs do.  A SA is another great idea to make sure that DH is okay.  I'm not sure how involved your clomid cycle is, but please do not take clomid without ultrasound monitoring and bloodwork.  An HSG is another test you should have done prior to that to see if your tubes may be blocked.  All the clomid in the world wont get an egg through blocked tubes.  

     I hope your stay with us is short and sweet, but in the meantime, take a deep breath & remember we are here for you.  

    "Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
    Me:29 DH:29  TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues 
    Feb'12- July'12-testing(all clear minus slight arcuate ute), 3 IUI with clomid all BFN
    8/30IVF#1 Antagonist protocol- ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F. 
    ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
    IVF#2 Antagonist protocol plus baby aspirin- ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
    ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
    3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy, Consulted w Dr. Kwak-Kim.  
    DX: High NK cells, cytokines, DHEAs& PAI1;  hypothyroid, +APA, restricted bloodflow
    7/13 IVF#3 Long lupron protocol with PIO, Crinone, Prometrium, and vivelle
    (plus synthroid, metformin, baby asa, metanx, PNV, Vit E, D, calcium, fish oil, CoQ10, IVIg infusions and lovenox per Dr. Kwak-kim)
    ER 7/19 14R, 11M, 9F(4 natural fert, 5 with ICSI)
    ET 5dt 7/24 2 fully expanded blasts.  SURPRISE 3 FROSTIES!!!
    Beta #1 8/2 335!!!! Beta #2 829!!!  1st u/s 8/14 showed TWINS!!!!!
    11/11: TEAM PURPLE!!!!!
    3/21/14-L&W born at 37w via csection

    Here Comes the Sun Blog
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!
  • Welcome and best of luck to you to get some answers. The PP actually asked the questions I was thinking, hopefuly they can get you on a good plan.
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

    image

    My Chart//>
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  • Thank you all for the warm welcome. I don't even know what RE means? Is that some sort of specialist? 
  • An RE is a reproductive endocrinologist.  They specialize in infertility.
    "Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
    Me:29 DH:29  TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues 
    Feb'12- July'12-testing(all clear minus slight arcuate ute), 3 IUI with clomid all BFN
    8/30IVF#1 Antagonist protocol- ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F. 
    ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
    IVF#2 Antagonist protocol plus baby aspirin- ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
    ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
    3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy, Consulted w Dr. Kwak-Kim.  
    DX: High NK cells, cytokines, DHEAs& PAI1;  hypothyroid, +APA, restricted bloodflow
    7/13 IVF#3 Long lupron protocol with PIO, Crinone, Prometrium, and vivelle
    (plus synthroid, metformin, baby asa, metanx, PNV, Vit E, D, calcium, fish oil, CoQ10, IVIg infusions and lovenox per Dr. Kwak-kim)
    ER 7/19 14R, 11M, 9F(4 natural fert, 5 with ICSI)
    ET 5dt 7/24 2 fully expanded blasts.  SURPRISE 3 FROSTIES!!!
    Beta #1 8/2 335!!!! Beta #2 829!!!  1st u/s 8/14 showed TWINS!!!!!
    11/11: TEAM PURPLE!!!!!
    3/21/14-L&W born at 37w via csection

    Here Comes the Sun Blog
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!
  • Dx PCOS 2006 - on Metformin
    Dx Hypothyroid 2009 - on Synthroid
    TTC since 12/2009
    DH - Low Sperm Count

    IVF with ICSI Cycle #1 - October/November- 10/11 Begin Lupron, 10/20 Begin 300iu Gonal-F, Trigger 10/31, ER 11/2, 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 6 fertilized, ET 11/5 - 2 Grade 1 8 cells, 2 frozen blasts (5BA, 3BB), Beta #1 @ 8dp3dt: 7, Beta #2 @ 11dp3dt: 2 :(

    IVF with ICSI Cycle #2 - January - 12/30 Begin Lupron, 1/8 Begin 300iu Gonal-F, ER 1/20, 13 retrieved, 11 mature, 6 fertilized, ET 1/25 - 2 blasts (grades 4BA, 1)

    Everyone Welcome

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  • Also, if you are on Clomid, are you being monitored regularly?  Your doctor should be performing ultrasounds at least once prior to you starting the Clomid and then once around CD10-12 to see how you are responding to it.  There are some dangers associated with taking Clomid that can be caught if you're being monitored (you may be producing too many eggs which could lead to a Kate+8 situation if you're not aware, it can thin out your endometrial lining so much as to make if very difficult to conceive, etc...).  Plus, you just want to know if it even works for you.  Lastly, Clomid has a lifetime limit of 6 cycles, so you don't want to take it more than that.

    Good luck to you and I hope you find some answers and don't have to be with us long!!

    Me: 43 DH: 39 - AMA, DOR
    Mommy to Sami (IVF), Born 8.30.13
    Surprise non-assisted BFP - 12.29.2014, Beta 1 = 322, Beta 2 = 760
    EDD 9.7.2015

     BabyFruit Ticker 

    image
  • imagemegs3084:
    An RE is a reproductive endocrinologist.  They specialize in infertility.

    Ditto this, but I also wanted to add that if you're really serious about pursuing infertility treatments an RE is the one to see. Your OB (or whoever was prescribing your Clomid) probably isn't an expert in getting you pregnant, and an RE is more knowledgable in infertily dx and treatment.

    I know how you feel about reaching certain milestones and still not being pregnant, it's definitely depressing. Hopefully a treatment path will help you feel more hopeful and positive!

    Wishing you the best of luck. Welcome to the board!

    TTC #1 since Oct 2009, Dx: Unexplained Infertility
    HSG: Right tube all clear, left tube inconclusive
    3 failed Clomid Cylces
    4/5 lap revealed blocked left tube, but right tube is open
    April/May- 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1= CANCELLED left ovary ovulating
    June 1- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = BFN
    June 28- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #2 =BFP!
    7/12 Beta #1= 14 Beta #2= >5 Chemical Pregnancy :(
    July-Nov long break to recover emotionally and financially
    Nov 24- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #3= BFN
    Jan 22- Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI# 4 = CANCELLED no response on right
    IVF #1- Start stims 4/7, ER 4/20, 21R, 14F, 6 frosties, ET 4/25, 2 embryos transferred= BFN :(
    FET #1- June 2012, Lurpon starts 5/27- CANCELLED
    FET #1 take 2- August 2012, delayed until Sept-CANCELLED
    FET #1 take 3- ET 10/11, 2 embryos transferred,= BFFN
    FET #2- Transfer 12/4--Cancelled, no embies survived thaw :(
    Next steps-- IVF #2 with new RE in March
    HOLY SURPRISE BFP 2/15/13!!!! Beta 1- 286, Beta 2- 782, First Ultrasound 2/25- baby in uterus & all looks good!


    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I had an ultrasound before I started taking Clomid. My doctor said after 3 cycles she wants me to come back in for more testing. I was just having such a rough day yesterday and getting yet another negative pregnancy test. But I am really enjoying reading other peoples stories. Thank you all for your support!
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