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Almost forgot to update but

Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
in Blended Families
guess who showed up at both drop off and pick up for DD. BD and SM. This was their first visit since the divorce talk w/ DD. So I'm guessing they aren't getting a divorce just yet. DD's face lit up when she saw them together in the car. I don't know whether to be happy or upset with this. Sure, I don't want them to get divorced but the fact that they TOLD DD they were probably getting a divorce and the BD has essentially moved out is upsetting. This better not become a cycle.
DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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Re: Almost forgot to update but

  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    imagegin9874:
    guess who showed up at both drop off and pick up for DD. BD and SM. This was their first visit since the divorce talk w/ DD. So I'm guessing they aren't getting a divorce just yet. DD's face lit up when she saw them together in the car. I don't know whether to be happy or upset with this. Sure, I don't want them to get divorced but the fact that they TOLD DD they were probably getting a divorce and the BD has essentially moved out is upsetting. This better not become a cycle.

    I sympathize with you on the bolded.  If BD and SM are making an effort to work things out, that is fantastic.  But if they haven't committed to fixing things, then they shouldn't be "putting up a front" in front of DD.  It's just not fair to get a child's hopes up and then disappoint them.  I'm going to take the optimistic approach and hope that this is a sign that they are committed to the family they've created and that everything will work out.

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  • twister22twister22 member
    Ugh. I would be so frustrated. They shouldn't of said anything to DD until they knew things themselves.
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  • socloudy99socloudy99 member

    I agree 100% that they shouldn't include the kids on an up and down cycle and hopefully that doesn't start.

    But I do think it is good they said something to your DD even if they were not sure. She knew something was "off" and that can be very unsettling when nobody is saying anything and acting like things are normal. I hope this is the start of things getting back on track and they have an age appropriate talk with your DD during his time. Something along the lines of "I know we recently spoke about divorcing but your SM and I are trying to work on our marriage. We are going to try our best to work on things. I can't make any promises it will work but I can promise no matter what happens my love for you and our relationship will always be my first priority. If you have any questions we can talk about it anytime. I love you."

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