December 2012 Moms

Feel like a total failure...(kinda long)

So I went for a growth ultrasound today because I have GD and they wanted to get an aproximet weight for my induction date on the 17th because with GD they are worried about you having too large of a baby. Well it turns out I have the exact opposite problem instead of measuring too big LO is measuring too small, which scares me because at my 32 week ultrasound he was measuring in the 54% and now he's only in the 18th, his arms and legs are good its his belly and chest that are measuring 4 weeks behind. 

I feel like I've failed my baby that I can't even grow him right. And I just don't understand l don't smoke, I don't drink. I even quit my job in October because I worked with high risk individuals and caught phenomia twice this pregnancy. 

I go back to the doctors on Monday where I was told I will be told of their labor plan, but to prepare myself to be induced early next week, most likely Monday. They think he will grow better out of me then inside of me now.

I just feel so inept as a mother right now, its my job to protect him and I cant even grow him right. :( I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

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Re: Feel like a total failure...(kinda long)

  • This happened to my friend last year. Her son just wasn't measuring right and they didn't understand why. Sometimes, it just happens. You didn't "do" anything.

    Fwiw, her son was born a month early and he is perfectly happy and healthy today! He only spent a week in the nicu, also. GL!

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  • I am so, so sorry you are feeling so awful. PP is right, you're not doing anything wrong. I know it's different b/c it's your baby but sometimes you can do everything right in life and things go wrong or people can screw up in every way (smoke/drink, etc) and come out with perfectly healthy babies.

    Luckily, you're far enough along where your little guy will be considered full-term next week and I'm sure he'll do amazingly outside of the womb. I believe he'll do very well b/c he was in there for so long.

    My best friend gave birth to her little boy at 26 weeks last week - talk about feeling guilty. I'm not minimizing how you're feeling but I can sympathize from a best friend perspective because she was heartbroken that she couldn't "do right" by him in the womb. He's doing exceptionally well, btw and so will you're LO.

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  • I've never posted on here, but your post hit home. I was in your shoes with my first and I felt the exact same way. What made me feel worse was that they didn't catch it until I was 40 wks. So I got induced the same night as my ultrasound. Please, do not blame yourself or feel like a failure! I had a healthy 6lb5oz baby girl who is now 20 months old and growing like a weed.

    They say that sometimes the placenta doesn't provide enough for the baby anymore, which means the baby will indeed grow better in the outside world.

    Hope this helps! Stay positive and know that you did nothing wrong!

    Now with 2 on the way, I've had several ultrasounds to measure growth and there are no issues. You and your baby will be just fine :
  • You are not a failure. You followed the rules, you followed medical advice, you did what you had control of. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM and not at all a failure. 

    I'm sure your LO will be just fine. And, honestly, this is an early learning lesson that sometimes--even when we do everything right things don't work out the way we plan. And that's NOT our fault, it just 'is'.

     

    YOU

    ARE

    A

    GOOD 

    MOM! 

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  • Thanks guys, you've all made me feel a lil bit better. It's been a rough couple of days but luckily tomorrow I find out whats going to happen with us. My DH has been great thru all of this, just letting me cry it out sometimes. I just want my lil man to be healthy and I trust that the doctors wouldn't have sent me home on Friday if they didn't think he could make it to Monday. I'm just hoping today goes by fast. 
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