Saying Horrible Things — The Bump
October 2012 Moms

Saying Horrible Things

DH is off work today and he told me last night that he would get up with LO in the morning and take care of him. Then this tired mommy could sleep in a little. He woke up around 11, I tried to wake him before then. He answered me then rolled over and went back to sleep. So I was a bit p!ssed but i didn't let it bother me to much. I called my mom to vent about the frustration and to talk to her in general.

So I'm rocking LO to sleep an talking to her when DH starts to wake up. He hears me say that 99 percent of the time I adore LO then there is that 1 percent of the time when I just can't stand to be around him. DH gets up and says he's going for coffeefor him.

So he goes downstairs and I think he has left. I put LO in the swinghe was sleeping and rush to shower. LO wakes up and starts to cry as soon as the shampoo hits my head. I hear the door open an DH come up and pick up LO. I told him he could he could have just left him to cry for a minute or two, I've perfected the speedy shower.

I finish up, get dressed and take LO. DH tells me that he'll hurry to get his coffee and then watch LO since I can't "stand him 1 percent of the time" so I "basically hate him."

I don't understand how he could take something and turn it into something so horrible! I adore and love LO more than anything! But 1 percent of the time I just can't take it. Normally when he has been crying an whiny all day and nothing I try fixes it.

DH has apologized but its a bit to late. He already said, I'm already heartbroken that he could say such a thing.
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Re: Saying Horrible Things

  • You have every right to vent, and your feelings are perfectly normal. Your husband made a douchey move by twisting it like that. I'm sorry you have to deal with that!

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  • It's a good thing he apologized but that was uncalled for. I think any parent who says they adore their baby 100 of the time is lying or dosing their baby with NyQuil. With my fussy LO I embrace the same mantra that I use for DH, I always love you I just may not be in love with you at the moment.
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  • It's amazing what lack of sleep or frazzled nerves from a needy baby can do.  My husband and I have had similar conversations.  It's totally okay to let it out and vent.  In fact, it is better to do that.  I'm sure your husband knows you don't hate your baby and realizes you take excellent care of the whole family.  
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  • I'm sorry he said that.  I would be pretty hurt by it too.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting frustrated with your kids sometimes.  I don't think there's a single parent out there who doesn't get fed up from time to time.  Being a parent is hard, and honestly, it sounds to me like maybe he was feeling a little frustrated or overwhelmed himself to have blurted out something like that.
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  • imageMplsMurph:
    It's a good thing he apologized but that was uncalled for. I think any parent who says they adore their baby 100 of the time is lying or dosing their baby with NyQuil. With my fussy LO I embrace the same mantra that I use for DH, I always love you I just may not be in love with you at the moment.

    This.  When she's being really fussy I say to my LO "I'll always love you but I don't like you very much right now." 




  • imagecerratocc:

    imageMplsMurph:
    It's a good thing he apologized but that was uncalled for. I think any parent who says they adore their baby 100 of the time is lying or dosing their baby with NyQuil. With my fussy LO I embrace the same mantra that I use for DH, I always love you I just may not be in love with you at the moment.

    This.  When she's being really fussy I say to my LO "I'll always love you but I don't like you very much right now." 



    I say the same thing to Cam from time to time. I also "shout" "I don't know what you want!" He smiles when I do that even more so if I take his hands and shake them a little while I say it! It makes it a little easier to handle then.
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  • Wait, he slept until 11 AM??? When he said he would help you in the morning? Uh, that is pretty bad. I feel like sleeping in that late is a luxury not afforded people with infants (except on a very special occasion basis). Especially if he said he would help.

     That said. Under duress both DH and I have had said things we don't mean. A few weeks back he said something awful to me (basically implying I was fat but not as bad as it sounds) and I was sure I would NEVER get over it, but I did within a day. And he apologized and truly meant it. And I have said stupid crap to him. We sort of have an informal rule that we try our best to be civil at all times but if we do say something stupid, apologize and try to get over it. It would be different if we were saying mean stuff when there wasn't an infant screaming for hours straight around, but in general I say cut yourselves some slack the first few months.

     

    DD 9/15/12
  • I'm sorry dear. Just remember, we are tired and sometimes we say things and our significant other day things we don't mean.

    Babies are hard to deal with sometimes... It is perfectly fine not to like them one and a while : Your husband will get that someday.
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