S/O Temper tantrums and time outs.... — The Bump
August 2011 Moms

S/O Temper tantrums and time outs....

Sounds like temper tantrums are more than common at our LO's age, so my question is... how are you all dealing with behavior and tantrums? Is what you are doing working?

I have yet to read any of the toddler behavior management books yet, but I do plan to pick up something over the weekend.

We have put DD in time out once this past week for the first time. She isn't allowed near our fireplace for obvious safety reasons and she was testing us by running up to it and laughing after we told her no. The timeout was pretty painless. I sat her in the corner and stayed a foot or so away. She tried to get up and run away twice and I put her back there without speaking to her. She stayed for 1 minute (based on the minute per age thing).  

As far as tantrums go... well... they usually happen because she is frustrated by something. Typically I will lay her down on the ground if it is soft and either walk away or ignore her until she is done or I will try to redirect her to something else. I am finding that a time out for a tantrum isn't really the best solution, because I just don't think she is necessarily doing it to get her way but rather not knowing how to control her emotions.  

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Re: S/O Temper tantrums and time outs....

  • I haven't tried a time out yet, but I am sure it is coming sooner than later. As far as tantrums, I make sure she gets to the ground without banging her head and walk away which my ped recommended to me to do.
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  • We have yet to try any time outs, but I think may be heading in that direction.  DD is starting to engage in sort of behavior that you described with the fireplace.  She'll run up to something she's not supposed to touch - like the cord of a lamp that's plugged in - and wait for us to notice and then laugh at us.  She thinks it's hilarious no matter what tone or approach we respond with, so we need to try something different.   Redirecting really isn't working, she knows exactly what she is doing!

    As for tantrums, they're mainly out of anger of frustration.  She is usually arching her back or collapsing, so I lay her down gently on the carpet.  If I'm in the middle or something like making dinner, I just let her go until she stops.   I do have some success when I sit down a couple feet from her and start reading aloud from one of her books.  She tends to lose interest in the tantrum more quickly than normal and come running to check out the book.  I've never had any success in redirecting her from a tantrum (i.e. with regular toys or a snack or a drink cup), but she really responds to reading for some reason. 

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  • i dont do time outs only because i dont think she will get it yet. when DD2 has a tantrum, i help her not bang her head on the floor and then i walk away and ignore it. she;s upset and wants to start exerting her independence - im totally happy for that.
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  • Funny thing about the first time out we tried, shortly after she was done from time out she grabbed her baby doll and put her in time out.

     

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  • image amywalt1684:

    Funny thing about the first time out we tried, shortly after she was done from time out she grabbed her baby doll and put her in time out.

    This is TOO funny.  DD is really into her baby now, and I love seeing her "pretend" with her.  It's so cute!

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  • no timeouts, I ignore tantums. If he is trying to get into something we will block (with furniture or ourselves) or move the item.

    Yesterday he was in my mom's little house fountain.  Grandma has let him play with it other times but this time he had a toy that could scoop the water and was going to dump in on the carpet.  We told him no but that didn't stop him.  So Grandma took it and dumped a little water on his head. He threw a tatrum and came to me ( he fussed awhile but I wated at least 2 mins to pick him up so he didn't think he could come to me when grandma made him mad.  But it worked, he didn't go near the fountain the rest of the night. mmm my mom suggested a water  gun to correct the kitten from a distance I wonder about the kid. . . just kidding.

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  • I did a few semi-time outs... DS was climbing on something he wasn't supposed to, and I was getting really frustrated with continually telling him no. So a few times when he did it, I stuck him in his crib (right next to the climbing spot) because there isn't a good time out spot in his room. When he has tried climbing the stairs, I have put him in his room (baby gate on door).

    Both things make him cry - because climbing is just about his favorite thing - but I don't think what I've done has made a big impact on correcting his behavior. I'll probably try time outs soon, similar to what I've read you ladies describe.

    For tantrums, I generally ignore them and they don't last long. They are usually at home, anyway. If we are out and about, it's more likely going to be a meltdown (from exhaustion or hunger), and I'm more compassionate with those since it's usually my fault for pushing his boundaries.

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  • image countrywed:

    no timeouts, I ignore tantums. If he is trying to get into something we will block (with furniture or ourselves) or move the item.

    This. DS gets mad when he has to lay down for a diaper change. That's what most of his tantrums are about. I let him kick and be mad for a few seconds, and we talk about him being frustrated/angry/grumpy. Then I try to distract him for the changing part. That way he gets it out and I don't get kicked.  

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  • our pedi said time outs were developmentally useless before 18 months, and that he doesn't even suggest it till afer 2. i think if it is working, though, keep it up! lincoln will start banging his head if i try to sequester him so we are a ways away from it working for us. i think it sounds like you're doing everything right! :) 
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