Sleep Training on Your Own? — The Bump
Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Sleep Training on Your Own?

I have come to the realization that if/when I do try any kind of sleep training where DS cries/fusses for more than a few seconds, I will have to do it by myself b/c the monitor wakes DH. Has anyone else had this issue? Did you sleep in another room or what? I am frustrated b/c I will either have to put a cot in the nursery or sleep downstairs. I am kind of praying that our sleep issues resolve themselves before I have to resort to this.
             

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Re: Sleep Training on Your Own?

  • IMO, it's both your kid. So, if your kid is being sleep trained and cries, it's not the mother's issue to deal with. Don't do anything differently.

    But in my experience, once you get passed the 1-2 hour initial bedtime (7 or 8 pm), the night isn't bad.

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  • ha too bad for daddy lol

    No really though it's just putting LO down that should be an issue not throughout the night. At least in my experience. And even that didn't last long, now it's pretty easy. Though for us it's getting daddy to follow the sleep rules on the days i work and not just hold LO all day long while she naps. 

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  • image Kimbus22:

    You DH doesn't get a free pass. You both need to do this together and be consistent.

    Agreed! My H saved my sanity when we transitioned LO to the crib. He is much more calm and collected than I. Luckily, LO only had a tough time for a couple days...then was back to a normal sleep schedule. He goes down at 7:30 and wakes around 4 to eat, then back down till 6:30.

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  • image unaveragejane:
    I have come to the realization that if/when I do try any kind of sleep training where DS cries/fusses for more than a few seconds, I will have to do it by myself b/c the monitor wakes DH. Has anyone else had this issue? Did you sleep in another room or what? I am frustrated b/c I will either have to put a cot in the nursery or sleep downstairs. I am kind of praying that our sleep issues resolve themselves before I have to resort to this.

    Going against the crowd here I guess. My DH works four ten hour shifts. I stay at home. I have never assumed that he would be apart of the nightly wake up/sleep training (and my DS woke up to eat until well after a year). Is it frustrating? Hell yes, but then again he works his ass off so I just figure this is my turn to work my ass off at my job.

    Now back to your question. Will he wake up if you turn your monitor down really low? It will keep you both from hearing anything except for the biggest cries which you may want to get up anyways. 

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  • I agree DH has to deal. I was the one getting up with DS during the crib transition, thinking it was no big deal and because DH sleeps through everything. I got so ragged I got sick, DH felt horrible and now sleeps with the monitor an inch from his head with the volume on high in case DS wakes. You guys have to share responsibilities. 
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  • We just finished sleep training.  I was staying home at the time and DH works, but he was there with me every step of the way.  DS didn't have much problems going down to sleep initially, but his problem was waking up shortly after falling asleep and waking up at odd hours throughout the night.  We both watched and listened to the monitor, and DH actually did more "check-ins" than I did because I was an emotional wreck and didn't deal well with all the crying.  It was only for a few nights, and we both felt that having that emotional support there for me was more important than him sleeping soundly for those nights.  I don't think I could have done it on my own.  

    To be fair, DH does not have a physically taxing job and could afford to be tired for a few days.   

  • Another vote for DH sucking it up!

    How big is your house? At night I don't even have our monitor on since I can hear DS just fine when he really cries out. Little movements and fusses were waking me up with the monitor on.

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  • Oh yeah! Try doing this on a weekend, a long weekend if you have one coming up! My DH is off every other Friday, so we did sleep training with the other two on a long weekend.
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  • image MrsLettie:

    image unaveragejane:
    I have come to the realization that if/when I do try any kind of sleep training where DS cries/fusses for more than a few seconds, I will have to do it by myself b/c the monitor wakes DH. Has anyone else had this issue? Did you sleep in another room or what? I am frustrated b/c I will either have to put a cot in the nursery or sleep downstairs. I am kind of praying that our sleep issues resolve themselves before I have to resort to this.

    Going against the crowd here I guess. My DH works four ten hour shifts. I stay at home. I have never assumed that he would be apart of the nightly wake up/sleep training (and my DS woke up to eat until well after a year). Is it frustrating? Hell yes, but then again he works his ass off so I just figure this is my turn to work my ass off at my job.

    Now back to your question. Will he wake up if you turn your monitor down really low? It will keep you both from hearing anything except for the biggest cries which you may want to get up anyways. 

    I just wanted to ditto this. I will add that my husband is definitely there for support if I need it, but I work really hard to not have to. He works hard for us, so I work equally as hard.

  • Thanks for all the suggestions. Yes, I do feel like it is primarily my responsibility. DH helps me when he can, but it is important to me that he gets as much rest as he can so that he can concentrate when he's at work and driving.

    Unfortunately, even on the lowest setting, the monitor can wake up DH. BTW, he apologized for snarking at me the night before last when I was letting DS fuss it out, but thankfully last night I found a compromise. Like one of the PP's, our problem is not getting DS down to sleep at night but all of the waking he is doing in the middle of the night. Last night when DS would wake and fuss, I would turn off the monitor completely for about 2 minutes (holding it in my hand so I wouldn't go completely back to sleep). When I turned the monitor back on, he was always back asleep after 2 minutes (except for 2 times and at his regular MOTN feeding). For the times he didn't put himself back to sleep, I did intervene...but 2 times was MUCH better than 8. DH got more sleep, and I felt a lot better knowing that DS is learning to put himself back to sleep.

                 

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  • We have just started transitioning DD to her crib and it's been rough as well. I just watch her on the sleep monitor and if she starts fussing a lot I'll come in and rock her. It just takes time!
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