Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Conflicted about breastfeeding

I have been going back and forth for weeks about breastfeeding. Some days I want to give it up, other days its not so bad. My LO (who will be 6 weeks tomorrow) feeds about 7 times a day. We recently started giving him 2 bottles of formula at night just so I could have a break. And now I'm questioning if I should continue breastfeeding, or just switch to formula completely. I am going back to work in 5 weeks, so he will have to have bottles while I am gone which isn't a problem for him. My big beef with breastfeeding was that it is so demanding on me, and only me, emotionally, physically, etc. I want my body back, as in, back to myself. I want to take my regular birth control pill and get my hormones back to normal. But now I'm questioning if I'm being selfish or not, and if I should continue to feed 5 out of 7  times a day until I go back to work. And it sucks that no one but me can make this decision- my husband just tells me that he will support me no matter what I choose :/

Re: Conflicted about breastfeeding

  • Your LO is only tiny once. Try and think of it as a positive bonding experience. My LO is a milk-a-holic and eats sometimes 15x a day and I'm thinking I might not even want to pump because I like to be selfish with him. If it really is affecting your mental well being though you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of baby. 
  • I am going through a similar issue. I deal with anxiety and depression and am of my meds so I can breastfeed but I am starting to lose it LO is 3 weeks old. The couple of times I have given him a bottle of pumped instead of BF I felt a lot more relaxed. But I may not even be able to continue to pump bc I feel like I need to get back on my meds bc I feel myself slipping into old ways.
    I have been struggling so so much though with doing that. I feel selfish and like a bad mom but even my OBGYN said I need to take care of myself first bc only then can I really take care of my son.
    And it is also a big relief to just think that I can feed in public the thought of breastfeeding in public stressed me out or have others feed him to give me a break.
    Praying that you can have peace of mind. I am still trying to figure it out for myself.
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  • imageIdani:

    You are right that no one but you can decide.  What I can say is DO NOT let yourself feel guilty for thinking or even deciding to strictly FF.  6 weeks is still great. With my first I did it for 2 months but with the feeding, pumping and supplementing I was a wreck. Emotionally and Physically.  My son was also not happy. When I switch to all formula we were all happier and I felt like I really started to get myself back, again both physically and mentally. That is just my experience but I wanted to throw it out there. Good luck in whatever you decide.

    This is well said.  What is best for baby is a happy mama.  If bf-ing is what you have your heart set on doing, then do it.  If you feel more comfortable FF, then that may be what is best for your family.  Pumping is another option. Follow your heft and comfort level.  Best wishes 

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  • If it aint broke, I don't think you should fix it. My advice would be keep BFing for the next month. Do the formula thing a couple times a day to give yourself a break. Maybe even continue to BF in the evenings when you go back to work. I don't think it's selfish of you to stop, but I do think you may regret it later on.




  • I had horrible guilt about not being able to handle BFing, like to the point that I would hold back tears (not always successfully) if I was asked about. 

    So you know what my best option is? Formula. I do the very best I can do for my child, as far as my limits will go. If you're at your limit, then switch. If you can hang on for a few more weeks- Why not? 

    Good luck in your decision. I know it's a hard one. 

    image
  • Does it have to be an all-or-nothing? BF as much as you are able to (mentally, physically and emotionally), and give formula when you need a break.
  • Do whatever works best for you.  I do not think it is being selfish or anything, your baby will be just fine with formula if that is what you choose because this is too hard on you.  Don't let other people pressure you or affect your decision, it is your personal choice.  Funny thing is, there are so many people out there that try to make you feel guilty or inadequate, and then if you ask them if their mothers BF or FF them when they were small, and they were FF.  I like to ask those people if they feel it affected their intelligence, or if they grew up alright :P
  • imageIdani:

    You are right that no one but you can decide.  What I can say is DO NOT let yourself feel guilty for thinking or even deciding to strictly FF.  6 weeks is still great. With my first I did it for 2 months but with the feeding, pumping and supplementing I was a wreck. Emotionally and Physically.  My son was also not happy. When I switch to all formula we were all happier and I felt like I really started to get myself back, again both physically and mentally. That is just my experience but I wanted to throw it out there. Good luck in whatever you decide.

    This. I made it to 6mo and felt guilty but it was what was best for me and DD at the time. GL!

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  • imagempeanut515:
    I am going through a similar issue. I deal with anxiety and depression and am of my meds so I can breastfeed but I am starting to lose it LO is 3 weeks old. The couple of times I have given him a bottle of pumped instead of BF I felt a lot more relaxed. But I may not even be able to continue to pump bc I feel like I need to get back on my meds bc I feel myself slipping into old ways. I have been struggling so so much though with doing that. I feel selfish and like a bad mom but even my OBGYN said I need to take care of myself first bc only then can I really take care of my son. And it is also a big relief to just think that I can feed in public the thought of breastfeeding in public stressed me out or have others feed him to give me a break. Praying that you can have peace of mind. I am still trying to figure it out for myself.

    There are medications that you can take for depression and anxiety that are compatible with nursing. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation. Please talk to your doctor and take good care of yourself. There is no reason to suffer in silence with PPD. Hugs.  

    Monique (38), Wife to Steve (32), Mom to DS Sacha (4), DS Ronen due Aug. 1st! BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have looked into the meds that are allowed but either they at ones I was previously on and didn't work or they are ones that after researching I decided would not be good for me. Unfortunately I have been through a lot with my depression and anxiety issues so I have a good idea of what works for me. Also, I can feel when I am slipping into old ways.
    I will figure it out though. So far the plan is to EP and see if that helps.
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  • Don't let anyone feel guilty about the decision that you make. It's your body, your choice.

    I breast fed with my first for 2 months, but I started pumping early on, because I was honest enough with myself to admit I needed a break. That made me feel better. Plus, I refused to BF in public, or even in front of family, so I would always have to take the baby away to go BF. 

    I was pretty discouraged by my ex's family, though. They kept telling me the baby wasn't getting enough milk, even though he was always in the 75-90th percentile. 

    You could consider pumping, so someone else could feed the baby once in a while, or switch to formula. It's all up to you. I really want to stress, though, that you shouldn't let other guilt you into BFing if you truly aren't happy with the experience. Happy mama's are always better.

  • I felt the same way that you did for the same reasons. I actually hated breastfeeding and would get anxious about it when feeding time was getting close. For some reason when my Lo hit 8 weeks I didn't hate it anymore. I don't like it like some people do....it just is what it is. My suggestion is to set small goals for yourself. My Lo is almost 11 weeks old and I go back to work after next week...my goal is to make it to Xmas vacation I'm a teacher and then decide if I can handle. Whatever you decide is the right decision. You are a mom and know what's best. Gl!

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  • That's great that you made it 6 weeks! Wow! I only made it a week with DS and felt so gulity. It was so painful that I started to dread each feeding. I understand how overwhelming it can be and to just want to be your "regular" self. It's not an easy decision, so I don't really have an answer for you. Sometimes it's easier to take things one day at a time (or one feeding at a time) instead of looking at the big picture.
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