Am I the only one who tries to wait as long as humanly possible to go to the bathroom when you're almost certain you're going to find AF? I hold my breath, say a quick prayer, and can usually not bring myself to look for a few seconds. It's silly, really. I mean, what's done is done. If it's coming, it's coming. But I guess I just want to try to shield myself from heartbreak for just a few more minutes.
For the last 2 days, this has been my pattern. I was a tiny bit crampy, an extreme bit b*tchy, and threw up twice monday night. Every time I felt like I had to pee, I had to give myself a freaking pep talk before I walked into the bathroom. I had tested a little early, which of course came up negative. Today was 15dpiui, the day the nurse told me to actually test (like any of us listen to them ever). Anywell - I woke up this morning to AF and another mother trucking BFN. I am officially a train wreck and am trying to get my shizz together to drive to RE's office and get my baseline ultrasound and figure out what to do next. I'm a pretty sarcastic and often slightly cynical person, but I can't lie and say that I didn't have a little glimmer of hope that this cycle might actually work. Silly me.
Anyways... thanks for listening to my woes. I hope that at least a few of you will turn your panic from having to pee into a super happy trip to the potty this cycle. Fingers crossed for all of you.