Crossed my legs, fought the urge to go... — The Bump
Trouble TTC

Crossed my legs, fought the urge to go...

Am I the only one who tries to wait as long as humanly possible to go to the bathroom when you're almost certain you're going to find AF?  I hold my breath, say a quick prayer, and can usually not bring myself to look for a few seconds.  It's silly, really.  I mean, what's done is done.  If it's coming, it's coming.  But I guess I just want to try to shield myself from heartbreak for just a few more minutes.  

For the last 2 days, this has been my pattern.  I was a tiny bit crampy, an extreme bit b*tchy, and threw up twice monday night.  Every time I felt like I had to pee, I had to give myself a freaking pep talk before I walked into the bathroom.  I had tested a little early, which of course came up negative.  Today was 15dpiui, the day the nurse told me to actually test (like any of us listen to them ever).  Anywell - I woke up this morning to AF and another mother trucking BFN.  I am officially a train wreck and am trying to get my shizz together to drive to RE's office and get my baseline ultrasound and figure out what to do next.  I'm a pretty sarcastic and often slightly cynical person, but I can't lie and say that I didn't have a little glimmer of hope that this cycle might actually work.  Silly me. 

Anyways... thanks for listening to my woes.  I hope that at least a few of you will turn your panic from having to pee into a super happy trip to the potty this cycle.  Fingers crossed for all of you.  



TTC since 09/2011
Dx: Unexplained infertility

Me: 29, DH: 30
Bloodwork, HSG, HSC all normal. SA normal.

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Clomid Round 1: 50mg=poor response, increased to 100mg in same cycle (1 follie)+ trigger+ TI = BFN

Clomid Round 2: 100mg=1 barely mature follie+ trigger+ IUI #1 = BFN

Clomid Round 3: 150mg = 2 mature follies+ trigger+ IUI #2 = BFFN

Clomid Round 4: 150mg = 1 (18.5) follie + trigger+IUI #3 = BFN

Jan'13: Injects Round 1: 150units follistim + trigger +IUI=BFN

Jan-Feb'13: Benched due to cysts. Lap scheduled for Feb 8.

Re: Crossed my legs, fought the urge to go...

  • You are not alone - when we were TTC (currently on break) every time I had to go to the bathroom around AF it was like a soap opera scene - looking/talking to myself in the mirror. Once I would see the flow, it was like looking at my baby opportunity doing down the drain. :::Hugs::: take some time to yourself today, have a glass of wine or two.
    3T January Siggy Challenge: New Years Resolutions 
    TTC since 10/2010 (Rhythm method since 2007)
    Me (33) Sept 2012 - DX Low ovulation/progesterone, Luteal Phase Defect. HSG 5/2012: both tubes are open, cervix and lining look good;
    September 2014 DX Hashimoto's; November 2014: PCOS IR

    DH (37) Sept 2012 SA Normal; October 2014 Mild MFI count 42 Million, Motility 36%, Morphology 2%. Clomid 50mg,
    2004 Cyrosurgery, LEEP
    May 2012 - HSG Clear; June 2012 - Appointment with RE
    July 2012 - October 2012 - Clomid 50mg W/ TI & Progesterone 3 mature follicles- BFN
    January 2013 IUI #1 (900,000 post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 2 mature follicles - BFN
    February 2013 IUI #2 (1.3 Mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 4 mature follicles - BFN
    March 2013 IUI #1-3 (2.5 mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, Baby Aspirin (lining thinned) TI & Progesterone - 2 mature follicles BFN
    April 2013 Benched due to cyst, May 2013 WTF appointment
    June 2013 DH SA mild MFI break for 2 months to re-test; August 2013 - DH SA 36 Mil count, 36% Motility, Morp 2%
    September - December 2013 - Mental sanity Break
    January 2014 - IUI #4
    switches to natural due to scheduling conflict Femara TI & Progesterone - 1 mature follicle - BFN
    May 2014-June 2014 - DH Appointment w/ Urologist to check Bi-lateral Varicocele; 2nd opinion w/ another urologist - bi-lateral varicocele dx is slight no surgery
    July 2014 DH starts clomid 25mg daily SA 53.8 Mil count, Motility 37%, Morph 3%;
    September 2014 DH Repeat SA after being on clomid for 3 months 42 Mil Count, Motility 36%, Morph 2%
    October 2014 Me: Hashimoto's DX, DH taken off clomid;November 2014 Me: new RE PCOS IR Diagnosis
    December 2014: IUI #4 Follitism 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, BFMFN

    January 2015: IUI #5 Gonal-F 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, Another BFMFN onto IUI #6

  • image katyj25:
    Sorry about the BFN.
    I do just the opposite. I go to the bathroom more to look for AF.
    The only time I try to hold it too long is when I want to test.

    Me too. By the time I'm at the point when I think AF might show, I've already had several bfns and have stopped taking progesterone, so I'm actually eager for it to show so that I can move on and try again.

    My bathroom meltdowns happen around 14 or 15 dpo when I get that last bfn and know it didn't work.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
    Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
    Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
    Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!

  • I'm sorry about the BFN.

    Mr. & Mrs. - Est. 10.03.2009

    TTC #1 since 06.2011 Me-24 DH-24

    12.2011 SA = Normal

    06.2012 First visit with OB/GYN

    10.2012 Clomid 50mg + TI = BFN

    11.2012 Clomid 50mg + TI = BFN

    12.2012 Clomid 100mg + TI = BFN

    01.2013 First visit with RE

    02.2013 Clomid 150mg + TI = BFN

    03.2013 Femara 5mg + TI = BFN

    05.2013 Femara 5mg + TI = BFN

    06.2013 Femara 7.5mg + TI = BFN

    *Taking a break*  

  • I do this! I don't necessarily hold my pee but I do hold my breath when I go to the potty. I slowly take my clothes down hoping not to see AF. I'm super excited when she's not there because then I can add one more day to my dpo count.

    Sorry about the BFN.

    image Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Began seeing RE in June 2011, not preventing since 2006
    Me: 31, DH: 31
    DH: SA perfect
    DX: Fibroids, uterine polyps, tubal factor
    5 failed clomid cycles
    IUI#1 in Jan 2013 = BFN
    On to IVF
  • I'm sorry about the BFN.

    Me: 33 DH: 32 SA#1 low count (6mil) SA#2- now in IUI range!(30mil) Dx:MFI
    11/1- IUI#1,12/1- IUI#2, 1/2- IUI#3 all BFFN
    IVF#1. Long Lupron.ER 3/8 10R,4M,5F. ET 3/3-one 1AB, 2 frosties 5dp5dt-BFP!! Beta 3/25-794 Beta 3/27- 1794
    First u/s 4/8 saw hb. 4/22 missed mc 8w3d. d&c 4/26
    FET #1- bcp start 6/9. ET 7/12. 2 perfect blasts.5dpt-BFP!! 
    Beta 7/24 -1,239!! Beta 7/26- 2569 Beta 7/29- 7120.  U/S 8/7 hb 118! U/S 8/14 hb 143! U/S 8/20 hb 170. Graduated!! Stick baby stick! 

  • image katyj25:

    Sorry about the BFN.

    I do just the opposite. I go to the bathroom more to look for AF.

    The only time I try to hold it too long is when I want to test.

    Same here! I think I go at least 20x a day making sure she isn't coming. 

    OP - I'm sorry about the BFN. It always sucks when you really think maybe this is your month and it doesn't happen ((Hugs)) 

    Oct 13 April Siggy: Bunnies
    The 33 Most Important Bunny GIFs On The Internet


    DS born on 9/30/13 from IVF #1.2!
      Lilypie - (xNS5)
  • Sorry about the BFN.  It sucks when you have good follicles, etc and you think to yourself "wow this may work this month" and then BAM AF shows up!

    TTC #1** Went off BCP July 2011

    Me: 31 DH:31

    Jan 2012 Dx PCOS by OB/Gyn

    July 2012 - Tests with RE confirmed PCOS and annovulation

    2 rounds of clomid, 5 IUI's using clomid + injectibles. 

    Surprise BFP while on break cycle due to cysts.  It's a girl! Baby "E" born on Thanksgiving Day 11/28/13

  • I usually POAS and when it comes up negative, curse and call my ute awful names! But having thought that I could be the "exception" instead of "the rule", I remain hopeful that it is a false negative. Until AF shows up and triggers the full onslaught of tears and irrational self loathing. So, you're not alone and I will pray that once the tears and fruatration subside, hope will come that this is your cycle and success will be yours! Best of luck on a new start!
    Actively TTC since 01/11
    Me: 06/12 Dx w/ IR PCOS (rx 2000 metformin) DH: SA all clear; looking good
    06/12-10/12- Clomid/Femara + trigger + TI + P4 = 3 BFNs, hysteroscopy, polypectomy, D&C
    11/12 - 7.5 mg Femara + trigger + IUI + P4 = BFN
    12/12 - Surprise BFP ectopic (MTX 01/13)
    04/13 - Off the Bench! 7.5 mg Femara + trigger + IUI #2 + estradiol + P4 = BFN
    05/13 Clear HSG-5 mg Femara + Menopur + trigger + IUI #3 + P4 = BFP ectopic (MTX 07/03 & 07/11)
    07/23 emergency lap to remove ectopic mass and left tube
    10/13 5mg Femara + Menopur + trigger + TI(follie on left/no IUI)=BFN
    11/13 Same as above but BFP!
    Beta #1 12dpo-51     Beta #2 15dpo-178
    12/5- There's something in my ute!!
    Keaton Alexander is here 07/24/2014 !!
  • I'm sorry about the BFN.
    TTC from May 2011 to Jan 2013. Due 9/11/13
  • So sorry about the BFN! I am one of those that go to the bathroom to much looking for AF. I always feel like its coming...... ::::HUGS::::
    ITS A GIRL!!! TTC 8/11 November Clomid 150mg+trigger+IUI+TI= BFP<br>
    You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' 
    Eleanor Roosevelt 
    image image 
  • I'm so sorry about the BFN :(
    Me: 30, DH: 40 
    TTC since January 2012HSG & Bloodwork: Normal, SA: NormalDx: Unexplained Infertility 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN (three cycles)
    50mg Clomid + trigger + IUI = BFP (one cycle)
    Beta #1 (12dpo) = 49  Beta #2 (14dpo)= 149

    Expecting g/g twins Oct '13

  • I'm sorry about the BFN.

    No, I don't hold it when I'm expecting AF. I'm always afraid of accidents- the AF kind, not peeing in my pants!

  • So sorry about your BFN:(  The only time I truly believed I COULD be preganant (gasp!) was after my IUI.  I was on vacation when I knew I would find out.  I didn't necessarily hold it, but I did have to give myself the pep talk every time I went to the ladies room.  Funny thing is, I was about 4 days late that cycle (I so despise POAS and was enjoying being PUPO).  And just when I thought I was in the clear that biotch showed up an ruined my vacation.  IF sucks!!  ((hugs))

    Off BC since 9/10;TTC since 7/11
    Me: 31 DH: 31
    DX: PCOS/anovulatory/Hypothyroid
    SA: normal
    HSG: all clear
    5 cycles of Clomid/Femara + TI
    IUI #1 (7/16/12) Femara 2.5,+ Trigger=BFN
    Treatment break Aug. 2012-June 2013
    IUI #2 (7/27/13)=BFP!!!
    Beta #1 @ 13dpiui --145!
    Beta #2 @ 19dpiui--2,550!
    BabyFetus Ticker
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