Should I call my dad out on this? - Page 3 — The Bump
Parenting

Should I call my dad out on this?

13

Re: Should I call my dad out on this?

  • image CinemaGoddess:
    image LuckyDad:
    image CinemaGoddess:
    image LoisLane23:

    My father said he used to be able to work my mom like a well oiled machine. Ick!

    Oh, and apparently my brother needs magnum size and those are a little tight too.

    Why do they tell us these things?!?!?!?!?!

    They were passionately in love with each other. I think it's beautiful.

    Lois's brother needs to try Magnum XLs. I bought some on accident once thinking they were Magnums. My god, you could wrap those around a can of Coke!

    Ouch.

    Yes

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  • image Hesterlicious:
    One of my sisters found my parents dildo variety pack. She showed it to most of our friends.

    I found my parents copy of "The Joy of Sex" when I was about 15. 

    I was more disturbed by how hairy the couple was than I was by my parents having a copy of that book.

    The guy had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, a whole lotta chest and leg hair and the woman had leg hair and pit hair. 

     

    imageimage 

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    Unable to even.  

    ********************

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  • image sofamonkey:

    image Hesterlicious:
    One of my sisters found my parents dildo variety pack. She showed it to most of our friends.
    I found a vibrator in my mom's night stand as a kid.  I showed it to my sister & cousins that were over.  In order to determine if it was one that was used or not, I *may* have suggested they smell it. 

    That's still a family joke.  Embarrassed

     GROOOOOOOOSS!!!

    Edited because I can't spell when I'm that grossed out.

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  • image CinemaGoddess:
    image LuckyDad:
    image CinemaGoddess:
    image LoisLane23:

    My father said he used to be able to work my mom like a well oiled machine. Ick!

    Oh, and apparently my brother needs magnum size and those are a little tight too.

    Why do they tell us these things?!?!?!?!?!

    They were passionately in love with each other. I think it's beautiful.

    Lois's brother needs to try Magnum XLs. I bought some on accident once thinking they were Magnums. My god, you could wrap those around a can of Coke!

    Ouch.

    In grad school I knew this girl who slept around a lot and often shared the details.  One night she was going home with a friend of a friend.  The guy was like, "look, I've gotta warn you, it's big...."  and she just brushed it off.  He was like, "Seriously."  But she was like, "Whateves, it will be fine."

    But they didn't end up having sex that night because apparently they just couldn't get it in.  The story still haunts me.

    [img=300x180]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/18409_446452485392453_1373601123_n.jpg[/img]
  • I wish I could unsee all of this.
  • image CinemaGoddess:

    image Hesterlicious:
    One of my sisters found my parents dildo variety pack. She showed it to most of our friends.

    I found my parents copy of "The Joy of Sex" when I was about 15. 

    I was more disturbed by how hairy the couple was than I was by my parents having a copy of that book.

    The guy had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, a whole lotta chest and leg hair and the woman had leg hair and pit hair. 

     

     

    Sounds like joy to me!

    image
  • image shannonmur:
    I wish I could unsee all of this.

    We need this:

    image 

    "To me, you are perfect."
    image

  • I NEED to know how this call out went down. OP, come back and share the deets!
  • My younger sister still lives with my parents.  She decided to share with me that she heard them having sex the other night.  AHHHHHHH

    She said it was like 10 pm (way past their bed time) and she was leaving her room to go to the kitchen for a drink.  Well, that was the first thing she heard when she stepped into the hall. So she ran back into her room and could not sleep all night.

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  • image KJmashup:

    image shannonmur:
    I wish I could unsee all of this.

    We need this:

    image 

    I posted this earlier in the thread, but I really think that it need to keep popping up!!
     
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  • My best TMI is after my dad woke up from having his prostate cancer removed, he was in a recovery room with another guy who had undergone the same surgery.

    They were both pretty out of it, and as we are talking to my dad he gets all huffy and says "hey, someone stole all my pubic hair!"

    We sat there stunned trying not to laugh, when the voice on the other side of the curtain says "damn! they stole mine too!"

    It was awesome.

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  • The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

  • if there was ever a "noneya" this would be it.

    ...and gross.

  • image sofamonkey:
    image KJmashup:

    image shannonmur:
    I wish I could unsee all of this.

    We need this:

    image 

    I posted this earlier in the thread, but I really think that it need to keep popping up!!

    That's weird. I don't remember seeing  that. I must have forgot. Damn pregnancy brain. Stick out tongue

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  • image iheartsippycups:

    The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

    Ok.  This is the worst story in this thread.  EWW

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  • image sofamonkey:
    image KJmashup:

    image shannonmur:
    I wish I could unsee all of this.

    We need this:

    image 

    I posted this earlier in the thread, but I really think that it need to keep popping up!!

    Sorry! I can't see most PIPs and GIFs on my work computer. 

    "To me, you are perfect."
    image

  • I just can't stop refreshing & reading the awkward. 
     
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  • I would like to unsee this thread.
    image

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  • image HilarityEnsued:
    image iheartsippycups:

    The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

    Old people are the flucking best.  At Thanksgiving, my grandmother announced she wanted a new pair of pants because the pair she was wearing were "tight on her pvssy".  It was the most amazing part of all of Thanksgiving.  WTF.

    That is awesome

  • image Libby1978:
    image iheartsippycups:

    The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

    Ok.  This is the worst story in this thread.  EWW

    What made it more fun is that the boyfriend was there

  • This thread is epic.

    I will add to the awkward oversharing by parents with the gem that when I was upset over my m/c my father decided to try to relate to me by telling me about how when my parents were seeing a doctor because they couldn't get pg (this I knew) they were instructed by the doctor to have sex in specific positions.

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

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  • image iheartsippycups:
    image Libby1978:
    image iheartsippycups:

    The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

    Ok.  This is the worst story in this thread.  EWW

    What made it more fun is that the boyfriend was there

    OMG!!!!! Indifferent

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  • image Libby1978:
    image iheartsippycups:
    image Libby1978:
    image iheartsippycups:

    The last family function we had with my husbands family, his 84 year old grandmother starts telling us at the dinner table how her boyfriend can't get it up anymore, and she has wants and desires, so he has to use his hand & toys.

    OMGIck!

    Ok.  This is the worst story in this thread.  EWW

    What made it more fun is that the boyfriend was there

    OMG!!!!! Indifferent

    He didn't even seem embarrassed by it. It was the most awkward situation I have ever been in.

  • image LoisLane23:
    Oh, and just in case you were wondering, my dad has said on numerous occasions, " We are people too."

    Parents are not people, too.  

    [img=300x180]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/18409_446452485392453_1373601123_n.jpg[/img]
  • The URL for this thread should include the extension .vom
    "To me, you are perfect."
    image

  • Why am I even reading this thread?!

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  • Excuse me while I wash my eyes out with bleach.

    OP-You're lame for not coming back. 

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  • WTF..ew! (and the same goes for all 6 pages)


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  • This thread is so disturbing...


  • image CinemaGoddess:

    I found my parents copy of "The Joy of Sex" when I was about 15. 

    I was more disturbed by how hairy the couple was than I was by my parents having a copy of that book.

    The guy had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, a whole lotta chest and leg hair and the woman had leg hair and pit hair. 

     

    Are we the same person?

    My parents actually had a combo pack of The Joy of Sex and More Joy of Sex. The couple pictured in the illustrations was definitely a couple of dirty hippies. I'll never forget the part about using your big toe in lovemaking. Also, I remember there were suggestions of rubbing your body hair on your partner.

    Dirty Hippies love hair.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • image AshPal61:

    image LoisLane23:
    There's a reason nursing homes have one of the highest rates of STD's.

    Please tell me this is not true.

    http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/02/sexual-activity-and-std-rate-up-among-seniors/?hpt=he_c2

     Ick!

     

  • image LuckyDad:
    image CinemaGoddess:

    I found my parents copy of "The Joy of Sex" when I was about 15. 

    I was more disturbed by how hairy the couple was than I was by my parents having a copy of that book.

    The guy had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, a whole lotta chest and leg hair and the woman had leg hair and pit hair. 

     

    Are we the same person?

    My parents actually had a combo pack of The Joy of Sex and More Joy of Sex. The couple pictured in the illustrations was definitely a couple of dirty hippies. I'll never forget the part about using your big toe in lovemaking. Also, I remember there were suggestions of rubbing your body hair on your partner.

    Dirty Hippies love hair.

    No, no, no.  No.  You haven't seen DH's toes.  No.

    [img=300x180]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/18409_446452485392453_1373601123_n.jpg[/img]
  • image AshPal61:

    image LoisLane23:
    There's a reason nursing homes have one of the highest rates of STD's.

    Please tell me this is not true.

    That is true! The grandmother with the wants & desires says that a lot of her friends don't use condoms because at their age they don't even think about it.

    Also, my cousin works in a retirement home as a lpn & you can't even imagine her stories.

  • This thread is awesome...

    One of my reasons for not wanting to get involved is what if your mother and father have an arrangement?  What if they know what is going on and are ok with it?  

    Not that it makes it any better, but I just think you should leave their relationship alone and let them deal with it.

     

  • image LoisLane23:
    There's a reason nursing homes have one of the highest rates of STD's.

    There's also like a 3-to-1 female-to-male ratio. A lot of sharing goes on.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • image LoisLane23:

    How do you know he doesn't have sex with your mom?

    If he's 66 and uses condoms, good for him, it's always good to practice safe sex.

    Why are you snooping in your elderly father's room?

    No, don't confront him about condoms.

    This made me LOL. Do you think that if he is cheating on your mom he would a. have condoms in his drawer where your mom would find them? b. being dtd in their bedroom/house and your mom not be aware of this?

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  • image CoffeeBeen:

    No, no, no.  No.  You haven't seen DH's toes.  No.

    And I'm ok with that. Let's keep it this way.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • image LoisLane23:

    Yes I've had nurses that have had to interrupt it in the hospital. IN THE HOSPITAL AS A PATIENT YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX.

    But what if you're about to have major surgery? It might be your last chance!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Like I said before, he is probably just using them to masturbate in a clean way.

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  • image LuckyDad:
    image CinemaGoddess:

    I found my parents copy of "The Joy of Sex" when I was about 15. 

    I was more disturbed by how hairy the couple was than I was by my parents having a copy of that book.

    The guy had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, a whole lotta chest and leg hair and the woman had leg hair and pit hair. 

     

    Are we the same person?

    My parents actually had a combo pack of The Joy of Sex and More Joy of Sex. The couple pictured in the illustrations was definitely a couple of dirty hippies. I'll never forget the part about using your big toe in lovemaking. Also, I remember there were suggestions of rubbing your body hair on your partner.

    Dirty Hippies love hair.

    I just vomited in my mouth. 

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