I know I should just be thankful

Checca23

So my sister and my mom have offered to host my shower.  I am having twins and everything I have read says that earlier is better to have the shower.  I am due on April 4th but I know that I will probably have them no later than mid-March.  I explained this to them and suggested we have the shower Jan 19th (Matrin Luther King Weekend) I would be about 30 weeks.  Well, they both called and said that they would like to push the shower out to maybe February 16th (President's Day weekend),   I feel like that is way too late to be having my shower.  I know I should just be thankful that they are having this party for me but I am so worried that I will be miserable. 

I told them to choose another date if they want and worst case my husband will go in my place. 

 Do I sound unreasonable?

pnutg

No, you should definitely have a say in that decision. Im sure you dont want to risk not being there. Its being held for you, the mother to be!

mben1119

To me personally, yes. I was 36 weeks at my shower, and was HUGE, but had a blast. Honestly, you sit in a chair, eat food, talk, and open gifts. It isn't strenuous. February is plenty of time.

jasminelorraine20

I agree with a PP that you sound unreasonable. I agree that February is plenty of time, and most likely you will enjoy yourself- don't worry about anything.

EastCoastBride

For the fact that it's twins, I get where you're coming from.  I'd talk to them more about it and just explain that twins are higher risk and often go early.  while you clearly HOPE mid-march at the earliest, you have no clue. If you do the Feb date, there is a higher chance that you might not be able to actually be there.

Amanda&EricB

Even with twins, it's unlikely that Feb 16th will be too late. I'd just go with it, with everybody having the knowledge that you may not be able to go, if things get dicey with the pregnancy.

Ladiebug710

I think February is plenty of time.

aeh72

I don't think your concerns are unreasonable (I would be feeling the same way in your place), but mid February should still give you plenty of time assuming you don't go on bed rest or deliver early.  Are they trying to plan the shower specifically for a holiday weekend?  If so, one school of thought with showers and other "events" is to avoid holiday weekends because people frequently already have other plans - sometimes travel plans - for long weekends. So, perhaps another weekend between those two dates might be a good compromise if you find a day that works for you and your mom and sister.

Checca23

mabenner1:

To me personally, yes. I was 36 weeks at my shower, and was HUGE, but had a blast. Honestly, you sit in a chair, eat food, talk, and open gifts. It isn't strenuous. February is plenty of time.

 

I guess I was just more concerned since I am having twins and my doctor told me she won't let me go past 37 weeks (38 if I am lucky but very doubtful).  Hopefully, I will just be huge and not on bed rest. 

CougFan

Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

Checca23

CougFan:

Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

Checca23

CougFan:

Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

Checca23

CougFan:

Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

 

Sorry my computer went crazy.  I chose a holiday weekend because I have a few friends that are coming from out of town that it would be easier for them to fly in and not have to worry about having to leave the next day.  I let my sister and my mom know that if they wanted to change the date it was fine and it didn't have to be on a 3 day weekend.  What also bothers me is that we discussed having the shower in January starting in late August and I have told many of my friends to save the date since they would have to buy a plane tix or make other travel plans. 

 I know it is not the end of the world and everything will turn out fine.  I guess I am just a little hormonal and I have a bad cold to top it off.

Shel79

I posted this exact same question on the multiples board a few weeks ago. . . I'm due with twins April 8. The general consensus over there was that the best shower timing for a mom of twins is between 24 and 28 weeks. The risk of complications goes way up in 3rd tri, and lots of women felt that they didn't have energy for even a shower past 30weeks. I have no experience with it, being a FTM, but they all told me that 33 weeks was too late!

MelleTX

I am currently 35 weeks with twins. My showers were at 22, 25, 27, and 30 weeks. I felt good for all 4 but I was definitely slowing down a lot by the last one. Then at 32 weeks, iw as put on hospital bed rest due to pre-ecclampsia (where I remain). 

27-29 weeks was the ideal time for me. 

Helenahhandbasket

It's hard to say, since I only had a singleton.  My shower was at 29 weeks and I was pooped by the end of it so I think maybe you have legitimate concern.

You might get a better feel for what you should do if you xpost on the Multiples board.

 

Good luck!  

ggatlanta

Your title says it all: you should be thankful.

With the twins thing, it's possible you go early, it's possible you won't make the shower. But you are right, you should still be thankful.

Plus, it sounds like your overriding concern is comfort. You write:

I know I should just be thankful that they are having this party for me but I am so worried that I will be miserable.  

And I simply cannot understand why you would be too "miserable" to attend a baby shower at 34 weeks!

Yes, you will have to be in at least a semi-upright position for a few hours. You will get hot and you will be tired and you will be ready to get it over with. BUT you will feel that way at work and at home too! What are you planning on doing when you're not at the party? Will you recline in bed down 24 hours a day? So yes, you might be miserable. But you might be miserable all the time.

Bottom line, you should thank your friends and enjoy your party.

Sorry to pick on you, OP, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again: all these "my baby shower is too laaaaaaate" threads are nothing but code for "it's sooooooo unfair to have to wait to get my presents".

PunkyBooster

You expect to have them mid-March (with an EDD of 4/4). Why is a month prior to that cutting it to close?

My EDD was 12/2. My last shower was 10/31 and DS came 11/18. Though I had a nasty case of swollen feet, I enjoyed that shower immensely and was fine throughout it once I got my shoes off  

And FWIW re: holiday weekend, my last 2 places of employment did not give us time off for either of those holidays.  

rhubarb123

I have never gotten either of those days off so some of your friends might not either.  My DH gets MLK day but it can be taken anytime in Jan or Feb.  I think it is their way of combining MLK with President's Day so the company only actually "pays" for 1 day.

Checca23

Thank you all for your responses.   Given the fact that I had to go to L&D yesterday, I think my sister and mom understand my concern for pushing the date back.

sthomas1222

I personally don't think you're being unreasonable. Babies are unpredictable but twins especially! You may end up on bedrest, have them early, be in the hospital for many reasons... Some may call me crazy and unreasonable as well but we're due 2/4/13 and I told mom & sister and then the friends who hosted showers  that my only condition was it be done before Christmas. I have had complications, no one makes it to their due date in my family and I didn't want people to be "partied out" from the holidays. Also, January comes with snow and ice and I didn't want to be 36 weeks pregnant at my shower... I wanted enough time to return/exchange things, wash all the clothes, set up any toys & whatnot, and have plenty of time to fill in the gaps of stuff we still needed. I needed more than 2-4 weeks to do all that... And I'm not having twins...