In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be
corbinsmommy.blogspot.com
Re: Feeling horrible (kids mentioned, not mine)
First of all ((hugs)). Second, you are not a horrible person for having those thoughts. Quick story...a very close girl friend and I watched the horror of 9/11 from 5th Avenue...both of our Dads worked in the WTC (as did I, but happened to be at our 5th Avenue office that morning). So anyway, my dad made it out of the towers but hers did not. She has said to me that she is jealous and doesn't understand why my dad made it out but hers didn't. That comment never offended me. I knew her dad well and was devestated about his loss too. Fast forward 11 years later and we both got pregnant at the same time and our due dates were one day apart. Now my baby died and hers didn't. I completely understand your thoughts. Life is so unfair.
BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.
BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.
BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.
BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section
Today I had a coworker bring in her baby that was born a few weeks after Bradley. I couldn't handle it and just kept asking myself why she got to keep her baby and I didn't. Obviously I don't want others to go through what we are going through, but at the same time I think if I can't have a baby, then others shouldn't be able to either! I'm fortunate to have a coworker who experienced a loss, and when I told her what I was feeling she told me I didn't have to explain it to her! She got me, and I get you too.
You're not horrible!!!!!!!
I know its a scary to feel so angry and jealous, but it's completely normal. We all have those feelings.
My husbands co-work's wife was due the same day as me, well her water broke at 36 weeks, her baby came early and was totally fine.
After my loss, another friend of ours who was pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy, drank and smoked during beginning before she knew about it, had a quickie wedding. She delivered her baby very early his head was so small... the size of the palm of your hand. He was fine and lived.
I felt and still feel a tremendous amount of resentment towards these women and even their babies. I truly would not wish this on anyone, but I wish it didn't happen me. Hopefully the why me and not them, wont be so overwhelming with time.
This. I really could not express this any better.
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise