Super hyper/needy 6yr old step son??
MollyAnn11
member
My step son comes over almost every weekend and we have been married since he was 2, he is now 6 and seems like he bounces off the walls constantly and can't do anything alone. Wont even play with toys alone for more then a couple minutes, and he has tons of toys. My husband and I both play with him but it seems like we're babysitting every weekend. My Husband and I have a 13 mo old and a 2 month old together and he hasn't seemed jealous of them at all til the last few weeks and I can't figure out why.
He is SOoooooooooo hyper, ALL the time and he'll just keep bugging anyone for any kind of attention even when he does get plenty attention. I know its hard to have a new baby around but his needyness and hyperness has increased 10 fold. Is this just a 6 yr old thing? We don't treat him any different then our other children. My one yr old has lots of enegry but he'll take breaks and he even plays alone for extended periods of time. I have lots of nieces and nephews ranging from 5 months to 17yrs old and I've never seen anyone be so hyper and constantly needed attention.
Any advice? other then hang in there? lol Thanks!
Re: Super hyper/needy 6yr old step son??
It feels like you're babysitting? Then try parenting. I'm sorry, but that statement completely rubbed me the wrong way.
Set up rules and boundaries for SS. Make a list of expectations. Set up rewards for following through and have consequences for breaking them.
Is he hyper like ADHD or like a jealous crazy kid? It is normal to get jealous when babies turn into toddlers because they take your attention away differently and can walk and get into things. I am also assuming that you are crazed right now with two babies but remember that you chose to have two kids less than a year apart when there was still another kid to raise and even if the second was an surprise it was still a choice on many levels, you need to be patient like you would want someone to be for your babies.
Has your husband had a discussion with BM about his son's behavior? If it seems extreme, you may want to talk to a pediatrician about his hyperness.
I would also talk to your SS about his behavior and why he feels so energetic all the time. He just may tell you what you need to know about his behavior.
He's six and old enough to speak about his feelings. Kids will tell you a lot of good information about what they are thinking and feeling if you take the time and make a distinct effort to really listen.
To everyone bitching about me saying it's like babysitting, well it is. Every waking moment is constant attention, we have to act like the circus. He needs more attention then our 2 month old. Do you have time to do that with dishes, diapers, 2 babies, laundry, cooking, toys everywhere, ect? We don't even do anything together on the weekend to make sure ss has enough attention. My husband works at least 5 days a week from about 6 til 5 or 6 at night. So if your magic and can do this all on your own, congrats! I really don't want to hear from such negitive, rude people. My husband does do stuff with just his ss and we have asked him and all he ever says is he just has extra energy. I wont be posting on this board again, you people can keep your attack dogs to yourself, your so friendly I can't stand it.
Thanks to the normal people actually trying to help on here. I was wondering ADHD but I've never been around it and as far as talking to ss mom. She lies all the time and doesn't even tell ss dad when Christmas plays are or parent teacher meetings are and tells ss to lie and not tell his dad... When he tries talking to her she always says I don't want to do this right now and ignores him. She even ignored my husband calling to talk to his son on Thanksgiving and lied to him and said she couldn't get a hold of his dad when he left 2 messages for his son on her phone and a text to have him call. SO yes it's not always the man thats the bad guy in these situations. SS doesn't do anything bad for the most part he's really good, it's just all the energy. Even after playing basket ball with dad for an hour he'll come in and still have just as much energy as before. I understand he's 6 and they do have a lot of energy. Just wondering if it's cause of our babies together or if this is just how he's going to be. And no I'm not going too crazy with 2 so close together. My one yr old sleeps from 730 til 7 and my 2 mo old sleeps at night for 4 to 5 hours at a time so he's only up 1 or 2 times to eat and then goes back to sleep.
I get what she's saying about babysitting - she obviously means she has to give him more attention than is normal for a 6 year old...and THAT can be really exhausting.
Check in with BM, talk to your SS, and see if you can get him in front of a pediatrician. I don't like to diagnose, but if it's pretty extreme, you should talk to doctor.
Does SS watch a lot of television? My SD was tested for ADHD because she always seemed wound up and was incredibly needy, just like you are describing here. But what we've found is the more television she watches the more of this behavior we see. With the contant stimulation she received from television/video games/computers (she watched A LOT when she was little) she honestly expected to be kept entertained at all times when she was awake.
She now watches less than an hour a day, and sometimes doesn't watch at all depending on her attitude. It's helped us a lot.
Well you can only do what you can do. If she's not willing to change things then I would try really structuring a schedule for his time with you. Plan a family activity in the morning and a father-son activity in the afternoon, time for chores, time for helping prepare meals/eating. And time he will be expected to play, read, draw, or do something independently. Start with small blocks of time and build. And have him do little things for himself (get a drink, gather his towel, pjs, etc for his shower, pick his own clothes) and then tell him what a good job he did. It will help him build his independence.
We've been doing this and it been a battle, the more we talk with ss the more we find out she does EVERYTHING for him so he just doesn't want to do anything and will even refuse (and not in a lash out and be naughty way, he crys, about anything he doesn't like or want to do) So we'll just keep trying to reprogram him on the weekends, it's slowly getting better.