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my best friend just busted her ex for bigamy! WWYD?
First of all, this is not MOD. I am just in shock that this stuff happens in real life! My best friend has been married for 10 years. After finding out that her husband was cheating on her, she confronted him and he tried to kill himself. She left him and the divorce was final this past wednesday. For whatever reason, that same day of the divorce, I decided to look up her ex on facebook just to see if he posted anything about the divorce. I noticed that his cover page was a picture of what looked like a groom with his groomsmen. My friends ex was the man in the center, where a groom would stand. After looking at other photos of his and reading some of the comments his family had written, I realized they were congratulating him on his recent marriage in september! So, even though he knew he was married and his divorce would not be final until november 21st, 2012...he went ahead and got married anyway! On one hand, I was in shock. But on the other hand, this man was a pathalogical liar and verbally abusive to my friend, so I wouldnt put anything past him.
My question to you ladies is, if you were the "new wife"...would you want someone to do everything they could to let you know? I mean, her marriage is NOT valid and the man she considers her husband, is a liar and con artist! I keep thinking that I would definitely want to know, but learning this sort of information will be devastating to her. To top it off, she is pregnant with his child! There are MANY things that my friend discovered about her ex that would cause a person to keep her child FAR away from him. So, that makes things even worse.
This may be a post and run, but I will be back to see what you all think. Thank you
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Re: my best friend just busted her ex for bigamy! WWYD?
Step 1 - MYOB
Step 2 - repeat step 1
Also, I'm confused. Your title says that your friend "busted her ex," yet I see nothing about that. What actually happened between them?
As for the Ex & the new wife, who is to say that she doesn't know? They may have had the ceremony, but not signed any legal docs until after his divorce was finalized. You seem really involved with someone that you really have no ties to. Ex means just that - ex. It isn't even YOUR ex, it's your friend's ex. Why are you so involved?
Your friend needs to walk away. She, as well as you, are WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY to involved & invested in this guy's life. She's not obligated to look him up or contact him in any way. She's also not obligated to take any calls from him OR talk to him if he is physically in her company. She should tell him to stop contacting her, and she should mean it.
Then walk away. They are divorced. That means they are DONE. Let it go. You aren't some high schoolers & this isn't the latest gossip. He's already proven himself a liar & not worth her time, so stop giving it to him.
What are the MANY things?
Being a shiitty husband doesn't mean you are going to be a shiitty father.
And if you try to contact the new woman.. You are both going to look jealous, silly, and stupid.
Honestly, don't MYOB. I like reading the drama.
Ditto. AND I probably wouldn't believe it coming from the ex or the ex's friend.
Plus, she is already expecting his kid. What good would it do to tell her that he is no good? She will find that out on her own if she does not like him. She is not YOU or your friend. Maybe she likes that kind of thing.
If the new wife doesn't know, IMO she has the right to know, regardless of where the information is coming from.
In all honesty, if I was the ex-wife in question, I would consider calling the new wife with the simple fact of the date of my divorce. Nothing more. The new wife can do with that information what she wants. And then the ex-wife remains out of the picture.
If this actually happened, then he would be investigated/prosecuted. There is NO WAY that he could hide that kind of investigation from his wife. Also, his sister should be the one to address this with her bother, your friend's ex. You have at best 3rd hand info. If you go telling this to the new wife, you're opening yourselves up big time. What if the info isn't true? What if they have settled things & have a confidentiality clause in the settlement?
I will state things plainly. ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS. You are acting & sounding like a 14 year old swept up in random gossip. You are playing with people's lives, and neither you nor your friend need be involved. This is not a game. Grow up.
Wouldn't your friend have been aware if her husband of the last 10 years was being investigated for molestation? Cops would be speaking to everyone.
This sounds like gossipy BS to me but keep it coming. I need a good read.
INTERMISSION
Hahaha.
I agree with everyone saying to stay out of it, and especially RTV's last post.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
I'm sad that this is the most dramatic thing I can find on the bump today. I might have to watch Elmo saves Christmas
Team MYOB.
Yeah the lack of drama is disturbing.
To the baby showers board!
Im with you!
Im with you!
Good times will be had by all?
This is exactly what my friend ended up doing. And I never said I was going to be the one to pursue anyone to give them info. My friend is the one considering what she should do.
Avery - 8.2.07 | Asher - 5.12.10 | Audrey - 11.28.12
My ex husband committed bigamy on me.
He and I were separated and he got "married" while he was still married to me.
He told her that they couldn't get a marriage license because his SS card and DL were supposedly stolen. Nope. He was still married to me and trying to get back with me.
I didn't know anything about her, but I knew he had been cheating on me with several women.
She found out months later, just after they had a child. How did she find out? There was actually a website created (not by me) called _____IsALiar.com (No, I'm not making this up).
She and I actually talked on the phone and I gave her proof. Before the website was created, she and I never talked, but via the website I sent her my email.
I discovered the website when one of my friends emailed me a link.
Your BF's ex sounds like a turd. I mean, it sounds like he was a turd before he became her ex.
People can have weddings without legally getting married that day. Most people like to have their legal wedding date be the same as their ceremony, but I do know people who had a quickie courthouse wedding for tax/insurance purposes months or even years before getting married "for real". There's no reason to think the Turd didn't just have a ceremony on a day that was good for the wedding while waiting for the divorce to be finalized before officially marrying new wife.
Be there for your friend, but stay far away from him and his new life.
Thank you Twatley. As I keep saying, I never intended on being the one to pursue notifying the new "wife". All I said was that I found the info and, told, my friend. She was asking my advice on whether or not SHE should try to notify the new wife. I was a little on the fence about it. On one hand, I thought she should because this girl deserves the truth. But on the other hand, I thought maybe she should just count herself blessed that she doesn't have to deal with him anymore.
Of course, bigamy is a crime in all 50 states, even Utah. Adultery is not criminal in most of the US, although there apparently are states like Michigan which still have old, rarely enforced adultery laws on the books.