Babies on the Brain

"Mother-in-law" is driving me crazy!

From day one of finding out I was prego, my "MIL" (my bf and I arent married yet) has driven me nuts with wanting to go over-board with buying my unborn baby things, with wanting to plan my baby shower... She thinks I just don't want her to be involved at all in the baby's life (not true at all!), but in reality, it's because everytime I mention the baby, she drives me crazy! I'm only 4 months along, but with the way she acts, you would think I'm 8 months... How do I politely tell her to back off?

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Re: "Mother-in-law" is driving me crazy!

  • imageSpooko:
    You say thank you very much.nbsp;


    this. good help is hard to come by. plus it's less you have to do/buy! she's just excited, well, because it's exciting! just bite your tongue. she's always gonna be that baby's grandmother. no use ruining a relationship.
    trying for #1 since May 2012... we're adopting! bringing home baby boy in january 2015!


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  • She sounds like an excited soon-to-be grandmother. It could be worse, she could completely despise the idea.

    You say everytime you mention the baby she drives you crazy, so why don't you limit bringing it up in conversation? 

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  • You don't. Be thankful that she even cares and let her be excited and involved. My MIL has never met either of my children (ages 2 1/2 and 1). She only lives about an hour away.


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  • Yea it's about time to be grateful for a good MIL. Mine constantly tells my boys I ruined their dad's life and ruined his chances of going to school because I got pg (I'm asexual in case nobody knew that Stick out tongue ) She's also not too nice to my boys and lives with us (along with her dh). So, yea, if all MIL's could be like yours, the world would be a happier place.
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  • OP, that's a pretty stupid thing to complain about.

    Be grateful that she cares enough about you and your LO to be excited and try to help out. 

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  • I understand that people can be smothering. Like all the PP I agree that you should be grateful she is happy and involved, and definitely cut her some slack. On the other hand I know that someone who is just constantly and overwhelmingly invested can be really intimidating and in the extreme can even cause you to resent the thing they are so obsessed with. Sit her down, tell her how amazing you think it is that she is so happy, reassure her that she will be a big part of your child's life even if she doesn't buy him/her a ton of stuff. And then say you don't have room for everything, you want to be able as the parent to buy what you like, tell her your theme, and let her know what you would be grateful for her to contribute. 

     Also for conversation sake just answer her questions, make sure you reach out to her about new info and she doesn't have to seek  you out for it, and then redirect. 

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  • Thanks for the input, guys. its not  that i am not grateful to have a mil who wants to be involved with baby... i am just feeling smothered by her. on day 2 of finding out i was pregnant she insisted that i help her pick out her nursery furniture and when was i going to plan my baby shower. i was hoping to enjoy the excitement of being pregnant but instead was made to feel overwhelmed. and i have limited bringing up baby but i feel guilty about not talking about it so when i do its right back to square one. i understand wanting to help but she is stressing me out majorly. shes becoming obsessive about this child and i dont know how to politely explain to her again that i want to include her but she needs to let me be able to make some of the decisions. i also have my own parents to think about who want to be involved. 

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  • thanks. i really appreciate your advice. 
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