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Baby Names
CarolynTheRed
member
The "Rules" for names
CarolynTheRed
member
in Baby Names
Because I'm overdue and bored (Canadian, so everyone's at work) - what do you think are the rules one should follow in picking a name for a baby? I know these are personal, and all, but I'm just curious if there's a consensus on some rules, and less of one on others.
For example: My husband hates names that are also words, and thinks names should be short (2 syllables best, 3 at most). I don't entirely agree, but I went along with them. (Goodbye birds, flowers, gems, months, seasons, and concepts). But he doesn't really care about meaning of names, where I want the name to at least have a good connection for me, or a good meaning.
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Re: The "Rules" for names
I have my own rules that we go by.
Give it as your own name when you go somewhere informal (host at an eatery), how do you feel saying/spelling it?
Imagine when your child is getting married and the officient says "Do you (name) take so and so". Do you think he will be proud of that name?
If you were looking to hire someone how would you feel receieving a resume/application with that name? Would you take the name seriously?
If for any reason the name has to be stated in court, will the judge take him seriously?
What bad teasing names can come from it? Kids will always be cruel.
Goes well with LN (we had MNs picked out so we made them do well with that too)
No youneek spellings
Real names
Not super trendy and not in top 50
Ages well
No cheesy NNs that will be hard to prevent
Goes well with siblings
No bad initials
Nothing people will constantly spell or pronounce wrong
For me, there are only two big rules:
1) Remember you are naming an adult, not just a baby (i.e., no cutesy names that sound ridiculous on an adult)
2) Name must have the proper syllable flow - in our case, our last name is one syllable so we wanted at least a two syllable first name
Middle name should be after a family member.
You should be able to tell if the child is a boy or girl by their name, not all unisex.
First name should be something both parents love.
Initials can't spell bad words.
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A name I love and would want as my own.
Something kids can't make into something mean.
It has to be their given name no nickname, I don't want my child to be the one in class saying "Here but I go by ...." (i.e.Thomasina but call her Tommi)
The name has to flow off the tongue easily, all 3 names together.
No complicated long first name that is hard to spell when they get to school.
I could see myself calling the name out in a crowded place or out the front door.
Not top importance but family names or associations are nice...even if it is just in the initials.
We use the MN spot for family.
We tend to like names that are high on the SSA chart but ones that we don't hear often.
No misspelled or "invented' names
I prefer for my children to not have to worry about their name being spelled wrong or having a hard time spelling it themselves. I don't think they need a "one-of-a-kind" name in order to be unique and special.
ETA: Also, this site is a nice way to see how a name is used in different situations.
https://www.babynamegenie.com/baby-name-test-drive.php
For a boy's name, I tried to imagine a teenage girl calling my son and saying in a giddy girly way "Can I talk to "Aidan?" My son's middle name of Thomas comes from my FIL and BIL whose name is Thomas--I was honoring them.
For a girl's name, I tried to think about how the name would look on a wedding invitation. I also went to shutterfly and played around with different girl names -first name, middle name, last name-and just saw how it looked on the birth announcement.
There just happened to be a connection with both of the names that I chose for my children.
I really liked Irish boy names because of my Irish heritage. My name is Diana-if you change the letters around, it spells Aidan.
For a girl, I was going back and forth between Caitlin (my Irish heritage) and Noelle (my French heritage). My grandmother's maiden last name was Noel, and her father was from France. Someone else actually pointed out to me that if you take my married last name of Coonelly--most of the letters are in Noelle--except for the last "e". Noelle was for me was just unique and just natural --and I feel that a woman should be beautiful in a natural way--and my daughter was like a really great gift on Christmas day, even thought she was born at the end of April.
I think that a baby's name should have a story about how you came up with that name.
It is fun to meet other mothers who have named their boy Aidan or their girl Noelle, and we just talk about our child's name. I actually did meet a mother that named her daughter Noel Elizabeth--she was calling out her daughter's name on the playground, so we talked about our daughter's name.
My rules would be that the name:
a) has to sound good.
b) has to be real and a legitimate spelling, unless it is a family name (which doesn't really effect my family- spellings are pretty vanilla!)
c) can't have any obvious, horrible associations. I don't really care if I went to high school with someone with that name, but it can't be previous relationships' names.
d)For a first name, I would prefer not to have anyone in my family with the same name. I am really close to all my family, and once I am really close to someone, their name doesn't really excite me anymore, kwim? (that might not make any sense, haha ... I do like family names for middle names though!)
e)not one of the top 10-20 names. Some of them are beautiful, but when they are said so often they loose their shine for me.
f)If there is an obvious nn (ie, Jen for Jennifer) both parents have to like it just as much as full name. For Elizabeth, I only like the nn Libby or the full Elizabeth, but since there are so many variations, I would just avoid it as a fn altogether. If dc Elizabeth grew up wanting to be called Lizzy, I can't really control that! so I would rather just avoid that situation altogether.
I am probably going to forget a few but:
Not made up, legit spelling though less common is ok (Elinor vs. Eleanor). An actual name, not a noun.
Gender appropriate. I'm just not into gender neutral or the new fad of stealing boy names for girls.
Does have a nickname, bonus if there are several. Scarlett is nice but I'd hate for her to be Scar. Elizabeth is awesome because there are so many nicknames she can choose to go by. I cross off a name if a possible nickname will violate the gender appropriate thing. Love Charlotte, hate the nn Charlie.
I don't like it to be too popular or high on the SSA list. I also check Name Nerds' site to see the true popularity if there are spelling variations. But I make exceptions for classics like William and Elizabeth.
I usually compare 2011 popularity with that of 1880. I love 19th century and earlier literature, am a historian and so I love old names. I want it to have history.
I want it to make sense phonetically in English when the child learns to spell it. I like Gaelic names on someone else's kid but it's just not a good fit for me.
Meaning is really big for me. I like it to have significance to us as well. I might not discount Cecilia because it means blind, but I would discount a name that means demon or thief or something.
Has decent flow, but if there's greater significance then that outweighs the flow.
DH is really into honoring family. I like that for his side, but there's no one on my side I want to honor. So this is the least of my rules.
ETA: I did forget one! I would prefer no one in my circle of family/friends to have the name or something very close to it, unless I'm picking a popular name. I know this is insane and futile because circles evolve and there's no guarantee to keep it that way. But I was traumatized as a kid from this. I won't think twice about knowing another Elizabeth but I will think twice about knowing another Eloise.
Our unwritten rules were:
- It had to be a "real" name with a history.
- We wanted a family name either in the fn or mn spot (Elinor was DH's grandmother.)
- A name not currently given to a close friend or family member (so even though I love the names Emily and Hannah, there are cousins in our family with those names, so they were not up for consideration.)
- It had to sound good with our last name.
- We both had to like it.
Some great rules! Mine is along a lot of the same lines --- just remember that you are naming a PERSON, who will one day be an adult. You are not naming a pet, or an accessory to show off how unique or cool or smart you are.
Hmm, so what makes a name real, I wonder? It's not that I disagree that a name should be real, but I kind of wonder where that line is. I mean, how does a new name make that jump?
I don't know, but I've got a strong feeling about a lot of names being real, or not real. And I swear I don't know where it comes from.
- we both had to like it.
-spelled correctly.
-for girl, no cutesy names (ie: Emma)
-if named after family member, that family member had to be deceased, or.....we used their middle name instead of honored person's first name. We didn't want a Ed and Little Ed.
-if boy, not named after his father.
-not popular (not in the top 300)
-Had to sound good with strong German last name
Has to have a decently long history
Spelled traditionally
No more than 3 syllables
Flows with last name
Timeless, NOT trendy. No names that were basically nonexistent on the popularity charts before the 80s (Aidan, Addison) that will sound dated in 30 years. A good test is whether I've met people of all ages with a certain name Every Amanda I've met as been born in the 80s, every Aidan I've met was born after 2000, but I've known Catherines, Elizabeths, Benjamins, Lukes and Ians of all ages.
oh, i think EVERYONE should follow this! great advice.
My #1 rule is: would I vote for someone named ____ for public office (like president)?
Some of my other rules:
My partner and I have to both feel connected to the name as well as every possible nickname. A good example (that someone else already mentioned) is Elizabeth. It's a beautiful name with a beautiful meaning, and it has LOTS of nickname possibilities. Since I don't like all of the nicknames, I won't be using Elizabeth.
No creative misspellings of nouns, adjectives, etc to make them seem more "namey." I feel sad for all the little girls named Stormee or Neveah who will one day be adults with childishly stupid names.
No gender benders. Some names truly are unisex (like Ashley/Ashleigh), but there are far fewer than you would think by the way people are throwing around old man names for little girls.
Initials and monogram can't have any weird or vulgar spellings. No A.S.S., S.T.D., S.A.T., F.U.K., F.B.I., etc.
If every one of these rules has been met by my name, the final test is to run it by every adolescent I know to see what types of playground nicknames they can come up with. We all want to think our children will be perfectly sweet little angels at school, but the truth is that every child is capable of cruelty. It's best to give them as little ammunition against your own child as possible.
That list feels a little long, but that's all of my criteria for my little squirt's name.
I saw all sorts of rules before we chose a name [syllables, sounds etc] that we threw out when we actually picked! We had a hard time agreeing to a name so I didn't really care about "flow."
My biggest "thing" was that the name needed a NN we liked. I love Eloise but didn't like Ellie so when we figured out Elsie worked as the NN we were sold!
The MN was going to be something we both liked but would never use as the FN. We both really loved Clementine but I was pretty strongly against using it as her FN because it's a long name without a cute NN.
Boys:
Girls:
Both:
Basically, it just needs to be a normal name without a weird spelling. There is an irish boy name I love but cannot get past the spelling because I just know that everyone would have a terrible time pronouncing it.