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Parenting
chardonnay24
member
Help me feel better about my kid's language and development
chardonnay24
member
in Parenting
He is the oldest in our play group and the only one who doesn't speak in sentences or 2 word phrases yet. He only has about 80 words, no colors, only counts to 3, and the alphabet has about a dozen "w"s in it. The biitch of our group pointed me in the direction of several studies that showed that early talkers were more intelligent and did better in school.
I know I'm being completely ridiculous, but now I'm worrying that he's behind and that he's going to struggle in school and life.
In his defense, he's been able to swim, jump, and climb up and down stairs unassisted since 18 months. He's very physical, very energetic, and doesn't spend a lot of time reading books or sitting still to learn anything. So maybe he has the capacity but not the desire?
Tell me to get a grip. Or have a drink. Or both.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help me feel better about my kid's language and development
They say the later the kids talk, the smarter. They're taking time to "think things through" or something and form real thoughts and not just "Mama, hungry!".
Maybe your kids a genius?
:Lurking:
It's possible that talking early; good at memorizing and repeating things. Talking later; good at thinking through things themselves.
Have a drink and drink that b!tch away. I know someone like that, and it's NOT fun to hear the little comments here and there. It's like, "Sure, person. Make me feel insecure about something you really don't have ANY clue about."
And my kid isn't even BORN yet. /shakes head.
80 words at 22 months is a lot. That is way more words than my almost 2 year old has.
I would stop worrying.
He sounds great. I don't think I'd be wanting to hang around another mom who made me feel bad. My kid's almost 2 and can't count at all and the only color he knows is orange.
ETA: Are the other kids all boys or are there girls? It's not unusual for girls to be more verbal than boys at this age. The girls in DS' music class are younger than he is and have had more words/phrases from a younger age than he did.
*** is right. This is also very funny to me because early talking has no bearing on intelligence, whatsoever. I have two kids who went through EI because they were delayed talkers. My oldest had 8 words when she was 18 months old and none of them were clear. 10 days before she turned 2, she just started talking. The words came tumbling out of her, literally in one day. Within 6 weeks, she was speaking in 7-8 word sentences and having conversations.
When DS came along, he developed at the same pace as DD, barely had any words at 2yo. But once he started talking, it didn't just flow like it did with DD, he struggled to get the words out. So we took him to one of the best speech clinics in the US, because it happens to be 30 minutes from our house. The director did our family history at intake and when I told her about DD being a late talker but then just letting the words gush out of her. The director/SLP asked me if DD was in the gifted IQ range. I told her I had no idea since DD was still pretty young. The SLP told me to keep an eye on DD since late talkers who suddenly speak in sentences tend to be gifted. Sure enough, DD needed an IQ test to qualify for her private school entrance. She tests in the top 1% for IQ's.
DS has no official diagnosis, at one point he was being watched for Apraxia of Speech but he has made slow but steady progress with his speech so it now appears that he truly is just slow to develop. His language is great, he has a very large vocabulary but the mechanics of his speech are still not great (he is 3.5 years old and has been in speech therapy, both private and EI for 2 years). My son also has sensory processing disorder, which may be related to the delayed speech but has nothing to do with intelligence. We have had DS to a developmental pedi, neurologist, OT and SLP and they all assure us DS's only issues are the sensory issues and delayed speech. They tell me he seems to be quite bright and I suspect he just might even be brighter than his older sister. He is also the more empathetic of my kids. He is a funny, charming kid who is a great communicator, despite his delayed speech.
So tell your friend she full of ***. I have two delayed talkers, one who had no trouble at all once she finally started to talk and the other has had all kinds of struggles. Both of them are kind enough and intelligent enough to know when to keep their stupid opinions to themselves. She could take a lesson from either of my late talkers.
I'm back because your post has me all kinds of fired up because I know someone just like your friend. She is the mom of one of my older child's classmates. The first time I met her, I was in the middle of a conversation with another mom. The other mom was telling me about her son's speech problems. I was saying how I would never have guessed that the now 6 yo had ever had problems and that it gave me hope that my son would be caught up by the time he is 6, too. We were commiserating about the hours and dollars we had spent on speech therapy and all the worry that went along with it. The b*tch mom, who was eaves dropping, leaned over and said, "did you know that (insert her special snowflake's name) has been talking since she was 10 months old?" The other mom and I stared at her with our mouths open while she described all the ways her kid was superior to our late talkers.
Now, to really hijack your post, I'll share my most recent interaction with this woman. We have 26 wooded acres that we live on, just outside the city. Her husband wanted to go bow hunting on our property and it had taken my DH over a week to call him back to arrange it. When I ran into her at school, she asked me about it. I apologized and said that my husband had not called back because he was out of state since his mother had been in a very bad car accident. I mentioned that my MIL had had 5 surgeries that week and that she was still unconscious. A normal, compassionate human being would say something like, "wow, I'm so sorry. I hope your MIL will be alright. Tell your DH just to call when everything gets better."
Nope.
What she said, as though I had said that DH didn't return the call all week because he was busy mowing the lawn, was "Oh. We're really hoping my husband can get over there soon because (special snowflake) just loves venison. It's really odd to me because I'm a vegetarian but she just loves meat and the bloodier the better...." She then rambles on for 10 minutes without pause about what a great and adventurous eater her daughter is without even acknowledging what I had said about my MIL.
I have realized this is a crazy person I am dealing with and her assessment of how perfect her child is has very little to do with what really is. I also console myself that while her kid probably is pretty smart, her kid also has a pretty crappy role model as far as how to be a decent person.
Competi-moms suck. They are the first to basically take credit about for how ahead they think their child is and the last to take responsibility when their angel acts out.
IME as soon as I start to worry about my kids not being on track, they show me they are fine. No one worries when these milestones are met when the kids are teenagers!
I'm pretty sure I read that Einstein didn't talk until he
was 5. My grandmother said my dad didn't talk until
he was 4, he graduated Penn Wharton School. I think
they could talk, they chose not to.
::calculates 1 year plus 9 months::
Your kid is 21 months? sounds like they are right on track. DD is 20 months and has a fair amount of words, but she uses them sparingly (and tends to drop them after a while - hasn't said book or ball since she was 12-14 months). She doesn't know colours, can't count to anything and doesn't know the alphabet. I don't believe for a second that early talkers are more intelligent and do better in school.
Get a grip.
ETA: I just read my post and realized the 'get a grip' comes off a little harsh. I meant it in jest.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I'd point the biitch in your group in the direction of the exit. JHC. Who says that kind of BS?
I'd honestly respond to a comment like that with a "what's your point?". Because, WTF is her point? There is no point and she is anasshole for saying something as patently stupid as that.
The B in your group is wrong. I have a degree in child development, and nothing about what you're saying about your child is setting off a single red flag.
My BFP Chart
(Resident speech pathologist here
)
Your child sounds like they are completely in line with what he should be doing at that point. I always direct parents to this chart: https://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/chart.htm
Again, this is a range of normal and they don't have to be doing those skills as soon as they get into the age range, so even for two word pairings, it is typical for some kids to start putting two words together closer to two or even between two and three.
Also, when a child is really overdeveloped or advanced motorically, they will often be a little behind for a bit in speech development, or vice versa, because they've taken so much time and effort to develop those skills, in my experience. PM me if you have specific questions and we can chat!
Also- to add- my son is only a few days younger than you at this point. He doesn't know any of his ABC's and when we count, he likes to chime in at 5 and 9 and doesn't say any other numbers, unless he is saying they are all 5, lol. He has a word list of probably around 100 at this point, and will combine SOME two word groupings, but no three word groupings.
Obviously I'm a SLP, so I am giving him input like I would for the children I work with so he is getting the proper stimulation, being read to, playing with developmental toys, etc. And your child is at a very similar level as my child, if that helps any!