WWYD?

The Nap Taker

I would like to know if how you would handle this? Would you go alone? Make DH go too? Not go? ect. TIA

 Short Synopsis:

My Step Grandmother is dying of liver cancer, she is really really bad, Doc's do not think she will make it past Christmas. I have not seen her or my SF family in YEARS. 

My parents are going for Thanksgiving, they want us to fly there (they are paying) because my grandmother has never met my DS. 

We were planning on going to my DH family thanksgiving, mainly because my FIL is going to give my DH veneers (finally). My DH said we could go see my grandmother but he is "bummed" and wants to get his teeth fixed and see him family. 

 Side note: We are going to see his family the first of December and again for Christmas.

 

RockyTopVols

Since you are going at first of dec and Xmas, I think it is fair to go to your family event for Thanksgiving. Esp considering a family member isn't doing too well health wise. 

CoffeeBeen

I don't understand - if you're going to see them on the first of December and Christmas, why can't your FIL give your DH veneers one of those trips?

I would make DH visit your SF with you and your DS.

ASmallWonder

We're comparing someone dying to teeth and family who will be seen next month?  Your DH honestly should have kept his "bummed" comment to himself.  

jess60

RockyTopVols:

Since you are going at first of dec and Xmas, I think it is fair to go to your family event for Thanksgiving. Esp considering a family member isn't doing too well health wise. 

I agree with this & am sure his family would understand (unless they're crazies).

insertclevername

elmoali:

We're comparing someone dying to teeth and family who will be seen next month?  Your DH honestly should have kept his "bummed" comment to himself.  

This.  If your H is being a baby about it, take your child and go without him.  I wouldn't want to deal with someone acting like a petulant child while I was trying to catch up with family.

seahorse102410

AshPal61:

If your DH knows your step-grandmother well, I would say "make him go"...otherwise I would just go and bring LO, if you feel it is important.

I don't think not going will make you a horrible person.  I mean, you said you haven't seen your SF in years.

I would only go if I thought I might regret not saying goodbye, but if it's not that important I wouldn't take the trip, spend the money (even if it's someone else paying), etc.

ETA: clearly I'm the assholio in this thread. I was under the impression that this someone OP isn't close with.

No I actually agree with you. 

ASmallWonder

emkatrine:

seahorse102410:

AshPal61:

If your DH knows your step-grandmother well, I would say "make him go"...otherwise I would just go and bring LO, if you feel it is important.

I don't think not going will make you a horrible person.  I mean, you said you haven't seen your SF in years.

I would only go if I thought I might regret not saying goodbye, but if it's not that important I wouldn't take the trip, spend the money (even if it's someone else paying), etc.

ETA: clearly I'm the assholio in this thread. I was under the impression that this someone OP isn't close with.

No I actually agree with you. 

No, I agree with you as well. I just assumed that because she was asking for advice, she either wanted to see her step-grandma or felt some obligation to go. 

My feeling is that seeing dying people (and most definitely funerals) are for the living.  It seems it's important to her parents that she go, even if it's not truly important to her to see the woman, kwim?  And for me, family does stuff like this together - that's what a family is.  It would be different if DH was going to lose his job for taking the time off or his own family had an issue but I don't see any compelling reason for him to not be there to support his wife, who is going to support her parents. 

ShellShockedMama

Your husband is being a ridiculously selfish person. 

 

That is so not ok.  

Wufroggy79

elmoali:

We're comparing someone dying to teeth and family who will be seen next month?  Your DH honestly should have kept his "bummed" comment to himself.  

This.  You can get your teeth fixed anytime, and it sounds like that side of the family is fairly close by to you if you are seeing them twice in a month.